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  1. #1
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
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    Default NTs and Affection

    Is there a typical pattern to how you show affection? What's an example you have from personal experience? On average, how long do you know someone or how close are they before you will show it? How openly do you display it when you do? Do you show affection differently to romantically important people than to important friends?

    Keep in mind I mean showing affection in a non-physical way. "I thought of you..." That sort of thing.
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  2. #2
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    In my experience, NTs, and Ts in general love to be showered with physical affection from someone they like or love.
    `
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    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
    Is there a typical pattern to how you show affection? What's an example you have from personal experience?
    In a non-physical way, well, I'm a man of few words. Because of my reserved demeanor I'd like to think that when I do, say, for instance compliment my girl it'd be more genuine then someone else who always compliments or whatever as a formality... But I'm learning the latter is much a much better approach...
    Quote Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
    On average, how long do you know someone or how close are they before you will show it?
    Pretty close, I don't jump into relationships so I'll usually know somebody a month or more before I'll commit to a relationship.
    Quote Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
    How openly do you display it when you do? Do you show affection differently to romantically important people than to important friends?
    Usually one on one. Not really in crowds. And yes, if I'm in a relationship with a girl I treat her differently the close friends.
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
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  4. #4
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    In my experience, NTs, and Ts in general love to be showered with physical affection from someone they like or love.
    YES YES YES! /Meg Ryan mode off

    I like to be touched, nuzzled, tickled, pinch, slapped, whatever.

    And this is also how I show my affection. I don't have many "I love you's" thrown out there, unless she instigates and the correct social custom is to respond in kind. I also shower with subtle material tokens of affection. Before I get to this point, it depends on how comfortable I feel with the other person. Physical affection is easy once I feel like being close to you, and where I may differ from other INTPs or NTs, I don't have any problem lying about my personal feelings if I think it will help. I'd rather say "I love you" and not mean it than have you say it, have it go unreturned, and then feel terrible, because to be quite honest I don't have the tools to console you in this event. It's easier just to lie.

    I also have no problem with PDA, whereas my SJ does. I'm very used to pretending I'm the only person around me and ignoring other people, so public displays don't really bother me. And, romantic relationships get the physicality bonus and side of me. Regular friendships do not, aside from relative displays of bromance.



  5. #5
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    I do things for them. Fix their computer, or purchase an item they want or need. I'm not physically affectionate. This method is used for both friends and lovers.

  6. #6
    Systematic chaos Cenomite's Avatar
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    In terms of friendship, I show affection by messing with people and commenting on things they say.

    As for the messing with you part, It's not quite like how you poke the girl you like in 4th grade. I just feel more comfortable giving people shit who I already know, and I like finding people who give shit back. As long as it's all on good terms, it makes for fun times. There's a distinctive tone / vibe difference when I'm giving someone shit for fun, and when I'm giving someone shit to be an asshole (very rarely).

    For commenting on things you say, I try and provide some good contributions towards people's comments and topics in conversation if I think they're interesting.

    In terms of romantic affection, all I'll say is that I don't express it physically.
    The probability that I was procrastinating when I was typing this post:

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    P(posting on TypoC | having big assignment due) = .......


    Eh, I'll finish it later.

  7. #7
    Te > Fi > Ni Shaula's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    I do things for them. Fix their computer, or purchase an item they want or need. I'm not physically affectionate. This method is used for both friends and lovers.
    I'm the same way. If I truely care about the person then I might be verbally affectionate.
    Is not to be held accuntable for peeling errors.

  8. #8
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
    Is there a typical pattern to how you show affection? What's an example you have from personal experience? On average, how long do you know someone or how close are they before you will show it? How openly do you display it when you do? Do you show affection differently to romantically important people than to important friends?

    Keep in mind I mean showing affection in a non-physical way. "I thought of you..." That sort of thing.
    I need to establish an empirical "truth" regarding the nature of your character/our relationship before I offer gooey emotion.

    Generally speaking, this process takes some time to cast, as I'm not typically open to "loving" other people (save family; my wife). When I do theorize that our connection is such that it warrants some type of affection, I tend to offer support via physical acts and emotional soothsaying (words of encouragement, etc).

    Good topic, Brendan.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaula View Post
    I'm the same way. If I truely care about the person then I might be verbally affectionate.
    Ah, verbal affection is the worst for me. I'd rather chew off my arm.


    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    I need to establish a empirical "truth" regarding the nature of your character/our relationship before I offer gooey emotion.
    Same.

    The first year is an observation period. If I make it two years with someone for any type of relationship, I begin to let them in.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jasz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    In my experience, NTs, and Ts in general love to be showered with physical affection from someone they like or love.
    i agree but it is either on or off. i love to be showered in affection at one point and then very much need everyone to stay the hell away the next.
    .
    INTP/5w4 sx

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