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Thread: An angry ENTP

  1. #11
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    I've actually already set up a "meeting" with him, in order to discuss the gravity of the situation. I don't even think he realizes how close I'm to doorslam him (I have an INFJ friend to guide me with that ), he's just waiting for me to realize my folly and say that I'm sorry or something like this.

    Anyways, I see two sides in him. One is macho, who's mostly interested in watching sports (ice-hockey, football, boxing, wrestling), drinking beer and hanging out in bars. And one is hilarious, imaginative and enthusiastic. He'd be an amazing movie director.

    I hate the first and like the latter... and lately he has been more of the first one.

    Well, if he can't appreciate me, then off he goes.
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
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  2. #12
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    I had some trouble with an ISxJ friend a while back. We eventually grew apart even though we've been friends for a long time. From my perspective the biggest problem was he kept misinterpreting what I said or did. Eventually he just got really pissed at me, and I wasn't sure what to do about it.
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  3. #13
    Systematic chaos Cenomite's Avatar
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    This guy sounds like a douchebag, and I don't think type specific advice will help you here. A douche is a douche, unfortunately. If he isn't willing to calm down then you're better off ditching him.
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    Eh, I'll finish it later.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    Yeah, I'm afraid that he'll be unable to step back and apologize for his manners. He doesn't see his folly, and thus won't make any concessions, so it would have to be who'd yield. And I promised myself not to yield so much anymore.



    Yes, he has always little bit like that. But never to this extent. And before he couldn't stay angry more than a minute, after which he would say something hilarious and we would laugh at it all.

    And I think he treats all the people little bit similarly, but of course, not to this extent. But other friends he has are not so analytical nor fact-respecting as I am, and thus aren't so often in arguments with him.

    Cutting off the connection won't be a problem, in practice that is. We only see each other like once in a two weeks in football (as in soccer) matches (we play for the same team, and do to his very comparative nature, we end up arguing very lot about the matches). But I'm willing to leave the team too, if we can't get along.
    If he's a P he wouldn't be as inclined to not do any apologizing and I would imagine he might be more likely to..although if presented with a J to agrue with, his T may take the upper hand in this and go for the win.

    Mention to him there are no winners of these arguments because you get hurt. He may think you are arrogant and impervious to hurt, as he doesn't "see" your thinking patterns, being an S and he an N...
    So he may bookend the segments of time you two spend together arguing and be 'mapping out' the scenario as it typically ends. He probably intuits that you see the past with cynicism..His prediction of scepticism for the future may trigger his thoughts to sort of predict these arguments coming and he may actually be bored with the repetitive nature of these exchanges.
    I would try laughing with him at any incongruence. That way he has something to ponder, and may see you in a smarter light.

    The fact that he laughs at some troubles, says to me, that he truly values your friendship.

    The sports thing is great...I would definitely stay at it. Actually one environment which I get along great with Ss is in engaging a problem in quick order. So soccer would be good like that. See?

    Tell him this ENTP told him to engage this challenge..I know I certainly enjoy expanding my mind in seeking to understand others. We're always seeking information...

    Of course you could also tell him I'm watching him and am your advisor..and if he slips up, He will be going up against another ENTP..That should get his interest! Ha!

    But seriously he probably takes your calm approach to problems as arrogance. And if you approach the situation with heart like a lion to tame the situation, probably feels challenged. So that's a dilemma.

    I would stick to the sports. And any other intensely emergency type situation which you both would do well in teaming up.

    Sorry for the discomfort...I understand that.

  5. #15
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    He sounds like a very immature ENTP.

    You get to choose your friends, you know.

  6. #16
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    He sounds like a very immature ENTP.

    You get to choose your friends, you know.
    One day when he is starting his car, just before he turns the key. His mind will go back in time for the blink of a second and wonder about the black box he just saw beneath the exhaust of his car. But then, he will not pay attention to it and turn the key: BOOOOOOOOOOM !
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  7. #17
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    One day when he is starting his car, just before he turns the key. His mind will go back in time for the blink of a second and wonder about the black box he just saw beneath the exhaust of his car. But then, he will not pay attention to it and turn the key: BOOOOOOOOOOM !
    Well, he has couple of times told me that I remind him of Dexter..

    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    The sports thing is great...I would definitely stay at it. Actually one environment which I get along great with Ss is in engaging a problem in quick order. So soccer would be good like that. See?
    But the sports make it all much worse. 90% of time we argue, we argue about the match we've had. I'm quite sure, that if we weren't playing football, we wouldn't be having this series of arguments.
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

  8. #18
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    He doesn't sound like the kind of ENTP I would be best buddies with...
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  9. #19
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    Default your entp friend

    jsut a few thoughts and feelings on your question about your entp friend..

    1- he does sound immature, but feelings for an nt are really underdeveloped for a long time, depending on the person of course
    2-sometimes rants like this are challenges to get a rise out of you and to argue for the sake of arguing (i think we want to see the reactions because we use these in our perceptions of others-we are quite good at reading others but don't do well if someone like an ISFP is involved(that dastardly Fi is involved). we are searching for information to add to our storehouse of already overflowing information, but there is always room for more in certain areas
    3-he might be really hurting at something either about you or someone else.
    if he is, it is likely you ..only bec. we normally don't rant at anyone except ones that are too stifling, too constricting, too placid, or ones that have hurt us deeply. some may withdraw, but when some entp's are hurt, out comes the lethal words that can wound even deeper. i feel we all have to admit that although we dont' wish to hurt others intentionally, we all do at times in our lives, that is, if we are really honest with ourselves..
    i have to add here that emotions are not well tolerated until you start developing your feeling...it is much better then...
    4- you are his opposite and that can grate on anyone who is immature enough to think he is right , ALWAYS...which, of course, he isn't
    5- nothing else comes immediately to mind...but challenging him to CALM DOWN is an instant head butting....you are trying to control him by saying this and he will have to control himself..he will fight you just to show you he can't be controlled...its all or nothign sometimes and even though he might regret his actions later, he won't likely back down...so its better to approach on a calm, rational level and say soemthing like ."I do not understand what is happenig with us and I want to talk about it. Please, can you think about a time when you can sit down and talk with me and tell me what is happening with you"...you never know what has happened in his life and belive me, if he is young, it is hard to allow anyone to help us...We grow ourselves up pretty much and we are an independent type...we don't like admitting we need help, but we do at times...
    good luck...let us know what happens.....

  10. #20
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Sj's are my worst nightmare, overly anal and control freaks... I suspect he is feeling overly hemmed in by you. Perhaps accept him as he is and do what you can to be less annoying to him???

    Lis

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