I find some of them to be insecure, masochistic, paranoid, secretive, and often guilty of perceiving impersonal statements negatively. They care too much about what other people think, and can stubbornly cleave to lies because they have too much shame to admit they were wrong. They also seem to lack the ability to speak up for themselves, what they need or want. I also find them to be too idealistic in terms of romantic relationships, often taking beliefs along the lines of fairy-tales.
On the other hand, I find they have a deep reserve for persevering through hardship. They can be relentless for a cause they believe in, and they seem to love on a level most types aren't capable of. Continuously giving their affection and support when it isn't even deserved. That same love staying with them for an atypical amount of time, long after the relationship has dissolved. Many seem to be intelligent, observant, and accommodating. People they care about, are generally lucky to have an INFJ in their life.
I think I've only ever encountered two rationals in my life. I don't generally fall out with people but I would say these have been my two biggest fall outs with people in my life and they've both been very bad experiences. I am a peacemaker type and conflict on any scale is extremely destructive to me.
I don't wish to go into detail about what happened. I'd just like to know how rationals view INFJs. What are your experiences with them?
As an INFJ with a fairly well-developed Ti, I can give you some perspective on the matter from my experiences with rational NTs.
Overall, my experiences with them have been deeply satisfying on an intellectual level, as well as emotional; the latter fulfilled only after I'd begun to explore MBTI indepth.
Because of our differences, we often had misunderstandings, that lead to hurt feelings on my part; taking offense to certain ways they expressed views/addressed issues. This was only further compounded by their seemingly nonexistant emotional responses to my "hurt feelings." ...which caused me to jump to the conclusion that they "just didn't care."
Once I began exploring MBTI, I began to understand that they simply processed/expressed their thoughts/feelings in a different way. They weren't unfeeling. Just different. My relationships greatly improved. As an INFJ I need constant growth; to understand others, and be understood. Certainly a "peacemaker's" way, as you put it.
My last INTJ boyfriend (we're still very close friends) appreciated that I was one of the few people who didn't think he was an "arrogant, heartless asshole." He was just extremely rational. I really valued that aspect of his personality, though I couldn't put it into practice myself. Generally speaking, I found his consistent logic incredibly constructive.
He is an extreme T.. and seems to have little patience for people who overall seem to allow their emotions to drive them. It's begun to rub off on me a little, though I interact/handle situations with those kinds of people in a more overtly empathetic way than he does. I can't say this applies to all INTJs, but he would roll his eyes and call people who were ruled by their feelings "irrational," while I'd roll my eyes, and say "unhealthy," and then probably go try to help them process/cope/find a solution.
He always helped ground me and brought a practical approach to achieving my goals/solving problems.
My closest friend is an INTP. She loves that I don't view her as "too aloof/detached/emotionally retarded." She's my objective scientist. The world is her petri dish. She likes that I don't think that her constant exploration of all possibilities is a "neurotic, hairsplitting" trait. She's just an analytical Perceiver. We can talk for hours about everything and nothing. Ideas.
It's a beautiful thing.
Overall, as long as any Feeling type realizes they don't have to specifically relate to something [emotionally] to appreciate/"get it" on some level, then I believe you'll all have much more fulfilling & positive experiences/relationships with those NTs.
03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!
04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy
02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack
03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.
If I couldn't have the raw awesomeness of the ENTp (and it is awesome ), INFj would definitely be my next choice. Though few in number, you ceaselessly work to make sure the space-time continuum(s) is safe and thus maintain order. I salute you brave heroes/heroines - keep up the good work!
I have only the privilege of knowing one INFj IRL. She is a new mother but is an old hand at looking after those in need. She is also the only person I know who, when told I am wrong, I do not debate with - merely apologise INFj; appreciated more than you know
Originally Posted by sunnyz22
infj's use fe, not fi.
Originally Posted by entropie
Only in your wildest dreams. I am more of a socionics fan on this one
I'm with entropie on this, Fi all the way. How else could they travel through time and speak to animals?
Chivalry is only a name for that general spirit or state of mind which disposes men to heroic actions, and keeps them conversant with all that is beautiful and sublime in the intellectual and moral world
- Kenelm Henry Digby
One of my good INFJ friends has an IQ of 150-156 (154 is the mode and average) , and most people lie about their IQ online when they say it is so high. They don't notice how ridiculous they sound. My friend is a real wiz/genius.