Acknowledgment or attention, unless I feel like I understand a person's intentions, usually just wigs me out or makes me nervous.
I knooow. I feel the same way; although I don't know if it's due to the same reason. A lot of the times I feel that whenever I'm given acknowledgment or attention, there is some sort of ulterior motive.
The intjs I have interacted with, again, fall towards two classes. Those more like you guys- i think I am up to about five of them-who are oblivious or indifferent and would be disgusted by pursueing it
I am up to three of the other type and several more potentials who seem to need social recognition, not approval, via pedantic recitation of how knowledgable they are. Maybe this is an insecurity issue. Maybe a really overdeveloped TeSe way to try and deal with all the Ss?
However the top group have mastered the gut busting drop dead stare.
They expect and are slightly disappointed by my lack of comprehension, however will spare me the few moments needed to clarify the topic. At which point I flop on my back and ask them to rub my metophorical puppy belly. Everbody loves puppies.
how are you not sure that those "other INTJs" are actually ENTJs? ENXX doesnt always look uber social (read: ESXX).
I am up to three of the other type and several more potentials who seem to need social recognition, not approval, via pedantic recitation of how knowledgable they are. Maybe this is an insecurity issue.
I 'fish' for recognition. I'll usually ask others questions about my performance on a recently finished project to judge whether or not I am a competent person. Or I'll pay close attention to what other's say about it without probbing. If they don't say anything then I assume they weren't impressed which leads me to think I'm stupid. However if I receive many good reviews then I get a little full of myself. I believe it to be an insecurity. I never said I was healthy. But I realise this problem now and I'm trying to fix it.
A lot of the times I feel that whenever I'm given acknowledgment or attention, there is some sort of ulterior motive.
I too get very suspicious of others for unexpected praise.
My INTJ gf practically lives in a parallel universe - at least that how I see it. In her own words, she claims to be non-conformist and hates everything that is main stream or pop culture. I don't think she is anti-social, but she does not yearn for social approval or reaffirmation whatsoever.
As a side note, INTJs are hard to study; unlike other humanoid lab rats, they don't afford you the luxury of sitting still while being dissected, analyzed, and observed.
"how are you not sure that those "other INTJs" are actually ENTJs? ENXX doesnt always look uber social (read: ESXX). "
The few ENTJs I have known are crazy intense people. They are so driven they actually sweat drive. They also have this very intense focus and directness to them and have no qualms applying that drive to others.
I have found the bext tactic with an ENTJ is to let them alone unless there is a direct need to interact. Then do so it a very pointed, direct fashion. If need be, I turn forceful and go head to head battle style. If I choose to do this I am usually right, they respect that, and I win. Puppy style submission would blow up in your face with a true ENTJ.
The class II INTJs are not about controlling others.
When it comes to my accomplishments and abilities, it depends on the person who is giving (or not giving) me that approval. If I admire the person, I care. If I don't admire the person, I don't care. I admire people who can do things that I can't (no matter what they are).
With other things, I the amount I care is directly proportional to how insecure I am in that area. For example, I care about how people perceive my appearance due to insecurities, but I don't care what people think about the fact that I don't drink (I'm underage) because I'm not insecure in that at all due to strong beliefs.
However, I care very much if others see me as a nice person or not. I believe that there is almost always a way to maintain efficiency and get things done without being terse with people and making them uncomfortable. I'm not afraid of confrontation, but I strive to take others' feelings and points of view into account when making decisions, and I would hate to think that other people thought of me as rude or arrogant. I think there is very little justification for either of those attitudes, and try to fix them when I see them in myself.