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  1. #11
    Member Petite Etoile's Avatar
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    I was actually just about to post a thread about this!

    I don't know if I can relate to EVERYTHING you've just said, but I feel like i'm a pretty emotional T, if that's possible? (it might just be because i'm a girl and was raised in a really emotionally expressive household or because I'm close to F). I do try to look at things objectively a lot though, but I still take a look at my feelings/other's feelings just to get different perspectives on the situation.

    When I do break down about something or become overly emotional, i definitely dwell on it for awhile. I've had times when i completely just explode about something and i usually either just completely release the anger/sadness on the person it's about, or i'll write a huge long journal entry about how I feel (yay LiveJournal). Once I do that, i usally feel better, like it's finally off my chest. I won't be completely over it, but it definitely helps. Oh and even though I don't have any time to exercise anymore, I used to feel better about something if i went and worked out while listening to angry music lol.

  2. #12
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WithoutaFace View Post
    So, I'm not the type of person that lets emotions cloud my judgment. I personally feel that they inhibit my ability to stay objective throughout life. Every now and then, something will happen to me whether it is interpersonal, or the witnessing of something very poignant, or even just a touch from someone else (that's also very poignant).

    Then I just break. I become extremely effusive to the point of emotional deluge. If the event was particularly depressing for me, it seems like I dwell over the memory for at least half a week before recovering. It seems debilitating at times. I find it difficult to work and communicate while the thought lingers in my head. I try to socially congregate with others, but the mollification seems ephemeral.

    Do you any of you INTJs feel similarly at times? If so, how do you cope?
    Working to distance yourself from the superficial parameters MBTI imposes is a good first move towards the eventual goal of experiencing healthy emotional expression (not that you necessarily buy into this perspective; it's been my experience that many xNTJs view emotion with suspicion and mistrust).

    The apparition that emotions do not alter/influence your judgment is enveloped in untruth. There's no way to consciously adapt your cognitive impulses as a means to think "unemotionally" outside of inflicting serious neurological trauma.

    I'm INTJ and express emotion openly and without hesitation, when I feel the situation calls for it. Emotions are useful instruments.

  3. #13
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Night knows exactly what s/he is talking about. Listen to Night and become a better person, freely express your emotions. You will feel a lot better.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by sonata View Post
    Yes, this happens. Sometimes the triggers are very unpredictable. I won't get emotional at all when I "should" be --- such as goodbyes. At the end of four weeks with a group of people, they were all sobbing and I couldn't. The thing is, I do genuinely like and miss at least a few of them.

    Then someone will say or do something to me, and I break and I don't even see it coming. It's usually something that feels like personal rejection or failure, from someone whose opinion I trust.

    Usually in these situations, if I remove myself from it briefly I can start to think objectively again and realize that it's not actually a big deal. Or if I can't do that, I shove it to the side and pretend it doesn't exist. Yes, this is bad. No, I can't stop.
    Yes, I have experienced this situation you have described verbatim.

    Quote Originally Posted by Petite Etoile View Post
    I was actually just about to post a thread about this!

    I don't know if I can relate to EVERYTHING you've just said, but I feel like i'm a pretty emotional T, if that's possible? (it might just be because i'm a girl and was raised in a really emotionally expressive household or because I'm close to F). I do try to look at things objectively a lot though, but I still take a look at my feelings/other's feelings just to get different perspectives on the situation.

    When I do break down about something or become overly emotional, i definitely dwell on it for awhile. I've had times when i completely just explode about something and i usually either just completely release the anger/sadness on the person it's about, or i'll write a huge long journal entry about how I feel (yay LiveJournal). Once I do that, i usally feel better, like it's finally off my chest. I won't be completely over it, but it definitely helps. Oh and even though I don't have any time to exercise anymore, I used to feel better about something if i went and worked out while listening to angry music lol.
    Yea, I know what you mean. I too was raised in a pretty emotionally expressive household. Writing helps me too, especially if it's out in a quiet, isolated place, like the desert.
    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    Working to distance yourself from the superficial parameters MBTI imposes is a good first move towards the eventual goal of experiencing healthy emotional expression (not that you necessarily buy into this perspective; it's been my experience that many xNTJs view emotion with suspicion and mistrust).

    The apparition that emotions do not alter/influence your judgment is enveloped in untruth. There's no way to consciously adapt your cognitive impulses as a means to think "unemotionally" outside of inflicting serious neurological trauma.

    I'm INTJ and express emotion openly and without hesitation, when I feel the situation calls for it. Emotions are useful instruments.
    You are definitely correct about this. Emotions are cardinal to remembering things, and being able to analyze everything. That is, after all why we have a corpus callosum. Logic, language, and emotions go together. You are so right about embracing emotions for healthier functioning. I guess I'll try to be more honest with myself from now on, instead of repressing feelings.

  5. #15
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    My INTJ friends-two women-both will appear so stoic and strong-then out of the blue tears just roll down their face. It happens so rarely that I suprsises the crap out of me.

    I think strong emotions must be so odd and uexpected that when they happen it can be devastating to them.

    as an NF I qualify as unhealthy as I cram emotion into a little box and leave it on my desk. I really should have a better grasp on it and it is likely detrimental not to. I think for you INTJs though embracing of emotions should only be done in a safe trusted place. They will be so raw and simple, yet passionate, I could understand not wanting to explore that out in the world.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Ignoring emotions and writing them off as 'bad' will not help you. You aren't going to get any peace until you accept that thoughts and emotions are both one in the same thing. If you can learn to experience and appreciate BOTH sides of the coin you'll be much happier.

    You sound like you have the idea wedged somewhere in your subconscious that feelings are 'bad'. Feelings aren't bad, they're YOU. Acknowledge them for what they are, admit that its OK to have them and things will change drastically.

    I used to be a lot like you until I realized that these feelings I have were coming from somewhere and that I needed to pay attention to them. I started by writing and have gradually become more comfortable with expressing them to those around me. Its still a work in progress... but even accepting feelings as valid can bring a lot more peace than you might be used to, even if you aren't discussing them with someone else.

    One step at a time
    Embrace the possibilities.

  7. #17
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
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    Mmmhmm, freely express emotions.
    Try for development of Fi.
    "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
    - Albert Einstein

  8. #18
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I will be blunt.


    How often other INTJ cry or they are close to it?

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    My INTJ friends-two women-both will appear so stoic and strong-then out of the blue tears just roll down their face. It happens so rarely that I suprsises the crap out of me.

    I think strong emotions must be so odd and uexpected that when they happen it can be devastating to them.

    as an NF I qualify as unhealthy as I cram emotion into a little box and leave it on my desk. I really should have a better grasp on it and it is likely detrimental not to. I think for you INTJs though embracing of emotions should only be done in a safe trusted place. They will be so raw and simple, yet passionate, I could understand not wanting to explore that out in the world.
    Yea, it makes me feel so helpless sometimes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    Ignoring emotions and writing them off as 'bad' will not help you. You aren't going to get any peace until you accept that thoughts and emotions are both one in the same thing. If you can learn to experience and appreciate BOTH sides of the coin you'll be much happier.

    You sound like you have the idea wedged somewhere in your subconscious that feelings are 'bad'. Feelings aren't bad, they're YOU. Acknowledge them for what they are, admit that its OK to have them and things will change drastically.

    I used to be a lot like you until I realized that these feelings I have were coming from somewhere and that I needed to pay attention to them. I started by writing and have gradually become more comfortable with expressing them to those around me. Its still a work in progress... but even accepting feelings as valid can bring a lot more peace than you might be used to, even if you aren't discussing them with someone else.

    One step at a time
    Interesting, yet practical way at looking at the issue. I'll try to take your advice. By the way, everyone has really good things to say in this discussion. I appreciate everyone's help thus far, it really helps just to hear everyone's perspective on this matter.

  10. #20
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I will be blunt.

    How often other INTJ cry or they are close to it?
    Actually crying... maybe twice a year.

    Close to crying is a broad thing though. Sometimes I get close to crying because I really am sad or something, but rarely. Most of the time the "close to crying" usually happens during really good movies (or games for that matter) that get me immersed in their story, or they hit a soft spot. Then sometimes just the "epic" feeling from them.

    I'm not sure about the 'close to crying' number though. Maybe 4-6?

    For me.
    "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
    - Albert Einstein

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