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  1. #51
    Member Petite Etoile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GargoylesLegacy View Post
    You know guys, somehow I don't like how a few people make us INTJ look like monsters. Because we are not all the assy type. Also I must honestly say that I am a little sick about people who hear "Person x is an INTJ" get all distanced.
    I just though I should add this for the sake of all the non-typical INTJs on this forum and the world.
    i agree! i don't think anyone i know would describe be as having monster-like qualities. I tend to be very blunt with people which seems to turn away a lot of people but once anyone actually gets to know me, i am actually a very caring and sensitive person (if i like you anyway)..


    Quote Originally Posted by Sphare View Post
    Not sure if there's a thread started on this.
    But here goes. Lately I've developed some feelings for an INTJ girl. She's a high achieving perfectionist, striving for her law degree, playing in golf tournaments worldwidel, getting top grades, etc. Is there anything I can do besides beating her in everything that she cares about?
    I think everyone has given pretty good advice. but as far as the whole 'be yourself' thing.. definitely be yourself, but if you can try to intrigue her in some way do it. I think when anyone is pursuing someone they try to impress them somehow to get their attention. So, i'd say DEFINITELY be REALLY honest, and try to start intellectual conversations that interest her. i don't know about the whole beating her in everything she cares about.. but if you do that don't be all conceited about it. & good luck

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Here's a question: "When is a good time to ask an INTJ what her thoughts and intentions are regarding me?"
    similar to what other people said, try to get close to her as a friend first. when you feel like she's opening up and everything, just come out and ask, don't beat around the bush.. i think that would sort of make me try not to laugh too.

  2. #52
    LL P. Stewie Beorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nottaprettygal View Post
    So you've already asked her out? Did she say no?
    Actually, she started it all by hitting on me and then asking me to take her running. Then I took her out once for coffee and once for dinner. Ever since things have been absurdly busy for the both of us, but we've been messaging back and forth.

  3. #53
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Pssh... INTJs are easy to romance... Like all IxTx, they are just a bit more... frictiony... than the alternatives, but that's about as far as "type" can go, and even that is very weak. Obviously very disagreeable (very T) people are going to be a strain on a relationship, but the spectrum of Ts is pretty broad, even as far as that goes.

    Pretty hard to see who is more "frictiony" in my relationship, heh. I'm pretty sure it's me

    The complaints that people are mentioning could describe any generic relationship issue, down to the letter. It has nothing to do with type. If I had a dime for every "I put in so much work into this and she just didn't (x)" that I've heard...
    Thanks for the reality check.

    I'm thinking that what I had in mind when posting were certain gender-related expectations and theory. Always theory. Wait, I did it again...*goes and does something non-stereotypical*

    BTW, I seriously doubt people really see us as robots or monsters - it's a fun myth, though. Gotta keep the plebs in line. Oops.

  4. #54
    Senior Member Hendo Barbarosa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    You can ask when she thinks __ is appropriate in a relationship. How does she view the progression of a relationship. What does she think about ___.

    It might be better to not try to pin her down with "how do you feel about ME" She might prefer to answer in a more general manner.
    ::applauds INTJ comprehension levels::

  5. #55
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Ok, so I figured the friend thing was self explanitory, but whatever. It wasn't meant to be a flirt phrase, though I'm sure that's how most people are reading it (the joys of text lacking context). Think of some one asking it in a neutral and flat type of expression (or lack there of), then evalutate it. Also, I'm not in the habbit of just asking any girl - I need to have a suspicion first.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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  6. #56
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    if she asks you to go running together. as an INTJ, i'd say thats green light 90%.

  7. #57
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Seeing as you're INTP and she's INTJ can you be absolutely certain you're not already in a relationship but neither of you realise this?
    :yim_rolling_on_the_

    :yim_rolling_on_the_

    :yim_rolling_on_the_

  8. #58
    LL P. Stewie Beorn's Avatar
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    So any tips on how to respect her need to study and yet be assertive when it comes to asking her out on dates. I don't think I want to do the "play it by ear" thing anymore.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by nottaprettygal View Post
    "Being yourself" is tricky advice because there is a good chance that she won't like you if you are yourself. There's also a good chance that she won't like you if you try to be someone else.

    So. . . you're screwed.
    Depends on the goal.

    If it's a fling, pretend. If it's potentially serious, be yourself. If she doesn't like who you really are, you will never make it long term anyway. You don't have to share or agree on everything to click romantically. Besides, she would most likely want you to have your own life and interests. A clone is boring.

  10. #60
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    You know... I read the title "how to get to them" as in "how to get them annoyed". That one's easy to do.

    But to stay on topic, to "get to them" first thing you need to do is to get them to notice you. If they're thinking intently about something, toss them a curve ball. A possibility/factor that they didn't think of themselves... then they'll start thinking about that... and if that line-of-thought is in anyway useful to them, they'll attribute it to you. Big plus for you.
    My stuff (design & other junk) lives here: http://nnbox.ca

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