User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 29

  1. #1
    Senior Member groovejet02's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    199

    Default Help! I'm an INTP

    Hello all,
    Like a lot of INTPs, I have a problem with motivation. However, I'm doing fine in school and have a bit of money stashed in the bank. Therefore the problem is not about a certain area of my life, but rather my life in general.

    People tell me I'm smart, creative and independent, but I feel so helpless thinking about my life and what the future will bring. The thing is, I'm so painfully bored with my life and feel at odds with people in general. It sounds whiny just typing that -- as if I haven't grown out of my teenage blues -- but it's really what I feel. Maybe I'm emotionally immature, but I want your advice here.

    As an INTP, I come off as quite smart and educated about many topics and people who notice this about me say they are in awe of my intellect and would love to see me "go out and do stuff". But as an INTP, I'm so addicted to thinking and figuring out ideas that I move from one idea to the next, and have little motivation to see my ideas being applied. I have very few materialistic desires and am so anti-authority that I cannot see myself working with any organization for a significant period in my life.

    Relationship-wise, I am intensely loyal to my little circle of family and friends, but am not interested in people in general. I notice that people usually have warm and intense feelings for each other, but I genuinely don't feel that way at all most of the time. I try to be polite with people, but that's the only extent that I'd be willing to go. In a way, I'm kind of snobbish because I feel that people are foolish for not being intellectually curious and adamant about social issues like I feel I am. It feels like I have to dumb myself down when I'm with people because their interests seem so trivial to me (they are fixated on consuming, consuming and consuming). I'm often seen as detached and cold. It doesn't help that I'm a woman and that women are expected to be relational and warm. I also have somewhat awkward Asperger-ish social tendencies (e.g. problems with eye contact, reading social cues and making small talk).

    And oh, I have no love life whatsoever. I'm 21 and have never been in a relationship. My introversion, lack of motivation of meeting people and my sexuality (gay) means things are progressing VERY slowly.

    At first I thought I needed to apply myself in my studies and I did. I suffered from a host of mental issues (depression, anxiety) when I was in my teens causing me to be a near-failure at school, and was constantly admonished by my family. And even though I was so miserable, I managed to scrape through and now am in my 2nd year of university and doing fine.

    Then my financial situation made me panic and I thought that maybe I needed to get a job to feel better, and I did some part-time work, and even though my savings are not a lot, it's a step. Work does make me feel less helpless, but not majorly so. As a student, I have to deal with minimal pay and being in an area I don't give a damn about (retail).

    Now, I'm taking a break from work before I find another one, and am waiting for the new semester of school to start. And even though things seem to go fine, I cannot for the life of me feel excited about life.

    I know this isn't exactly depression because I've been through that and know what it feels like.

    I suspect that my trouble is how I see the world -- it's somewhat at odds with societal expectations. I don't care about socializing, am very intense (concerned with big issues and morals) and love to study.

    I'm trying to apply myself more, such as trying to apply my ideals on the real world by doing some work with NGOs on women's rights (an issue I'm most passionate about). But it seems that despite all this -- school, work and volunteering -- I feel that it would never be ENOUGH, because the world demands so much.

    I see people having aspirations like money, friendship and reputation and even though I scoff at their aspirations as shallow, I'm in awe of how people seem to generally love life and are so motivated.

    I feel so empty and restless. I feel so unvalidated because no one functions like I do: they don't care about ideas like I am, they constantly want me to socialize and be a mindless consumer.

    What keeps me going is that I'm curious and would like to see the world. And to a certain extent, see that my ideals come to the fruition, but I could never be as peaceful as INFPs and INFJs, and to be as strong-willed as INTJS. INTJs what to shape the world, INTPs simply want to figure it out.

    Which leads to the questions: Do life get better for INTPs as they grow older or are they doomed to be eternally restless and uncommitted? What should I do? What keeps INTPs going? I feel that I'm not aggressive enough for to assert my self in this world. I feel so unmotivated to strive for anything.


    PS. Sorry if that was long and whiny, but I had to get it out of my system.

  2. #2
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    8,193

    Default

    I can actually agree with a lot of what you have said, about being bored with life. The things that people do, admire, and strive to achieve are not things I am particularly interested in. Much of my day to day life, I find myself extremely detached from the rest of world. I look at others and their interests, their goals, and their motivation and I wonder how they can be so satisfied with what I see as relatively unimportant in the larger scope of the world.

    I am 22, in school, and am painfully aware of how insignificant I am. I feel...boxed in. Constrained by expectation. I find obstacles everywhere, because of my cynicism. My lack of will power, and self discipline is something I've battled all my life really, and something I haven't really been able to master.

    To be honest, I don't really have an answer, because my outlook is somewhat similar. My only advice is to do whatever you truly enjoy, and don't worry about other expectations, but that's not something I have followed either, so I don't even know if it will work.



  3. #3
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    6,028

    Default

    Welcome! That was a very honest and heartfelt (for an INTP, even!) post, and you've described probably the experience of almost every INTP on the planet.

    Which leads to the questions: Do life get better for INTPs as they grow older or are they doomed to be eternally restless and uncommitted? What should I do? What keeps INTPs going? I feel that I'm not aggressive enough for to assert my self in this world. I feel so unmotivated to strive for anything.
    It does get better--the more you understand yourself, and the more you run up against sharp and unyielding objects and people in the world, the more refined your worldview becomes, and the more you know what you do and don't want from life. I can't say that I've ever completely solved the part about knowing what I want to do with my life, but I've narrowed it down quite a bit, and I have given up trying to be like everyone else. Teaching, though sometimes a giant pain (b/c of PEOPLE!), has been rewarding for me so far--and I satisfy my other interests in my spare time, learning guitar and being in a band and such.

    You'll probably never quite feel like you were made for this world the way it works now, but you probably won't always feel quite so frustrated. Coming here is a big step, b/c it's really nice to find likeminded people--one doesn't feel SO much like an alien.

    Are you female yourself?
    Something Witty

  4. #4
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,656

    Default

    welcome
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    PINT
    Posts
    41

    Default

    I'm there too, I wish I knew how to get over it.

  6. #6
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    Hype
    Posts
    2,078

    Default

    You must learn to dance! The poga dance! inside your head! Let the ideas run WILD and just not give a damn! Just try not to get banned


    I was gonna say much more but I cleared all information from my buffer drive once I read your sexuality (sorry, PigheadedMalev8.90 expectation limits).

    Welcome.

  7. #7
    resonance entropie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    783
    Posts
    16,761

    Default

    Remember one thing, if people tell you that you are smart, clever and intelligent, something is really going wrong
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  8. #8
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    253

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by groovejet02 View Post

    Do life get better for INTPs as they grow older or are they doomed to be eternally restless and uncommitted? What should I do? What keeps INTPs going? I feel that I'm not aggressive enough for to assert my self in this world. I feel so unmotivated to strive for anything.
    Well, speaking as an INTJ, I don't want to prescribe courses of action that will erode the very pillars that make up your INTPness. However, this is a problem which can be tackled in a systematic way. Given your situation, I'd recommend the following actionable strategy.

    First, choose activities (hobbies, fields of study, careers, etc) that allow for diversity within the activity. In other words, as an INTP you're more likely to be intellectually satisfied when you're pursuing what you're interested in at a given time, which in effect will maximize your productivity. In contrast, avoid planning too far ahead and/or undertaking specific projects that last years, because by the time you have a few years under your belt your interests will have changed and you won't be as stimulated or productive. If, however, you've opted for an activity with more diversity, then you'll have more wiggle room within the confines of that activity. In effect, this will help keep you stimulated and productive and at the same time it affords you a broad corridor with milestones which, if/when attained, will provide you with a sense of accomplishment.

    Second, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Your lack of motivation likely derives from two sources. One, that on some level you hold the assumption that you are all-knowing. In my own words, it's the Good Will Hunting complex wherein one can never begin to make the first move because all one sees is every negative thing ten steps down the road. Now, although people call you smart, who are people? Let's think about this a little more critically. The average IQ is only 100 (maybe a little higher depending on where you live). Therefore, in relative terms, you're going to come off as smart to Joe the plumber, and you probably are smart to be sure. But let's not lose are heads here and use this as a pretext for omniscience--and by extension the inaction I just mentioned. You, like I, have a three dimensional Euclidean earthbound mind that thinks in terms of syllogisms. And while I'm on this I mine as well make another closely related counterpoint to a claim you made. You criticized people who lack intellectual curiosity and so forth. But this perspective lacks critical evaluation on multiple levels. First, many people out there work long days, have children to provide for, and so forth. For these people, the capitalist system prevents them from having the time to research social issues in detail. Moreover, their main source of information is through media outlets and personal and shared experiences. Furthermore, given this system, not everyone has the luxury to engage material. You mentioned you're in university right? Ya, me too. I'm in my final year with a 4.0 GPA and in the process of applying to law school and grad school. Do I make others feel depraved when they lack insight on an issue? No, because I don't consider everyone an idiot, I consider myself fortunate. This isn't even about intelligence, it's about attitude. The other source for a lack of motivation likely has something to do with you being a risk-averse person, though I would need more information to prove this point to its fullest potential. None the less, you are likely governed by some sort of INTP law that holds that when you're engaging in contemplation and theoretical thinking you are strong and confident, but when you take a course of action you put yourself in a vulnerable position. If this is true, then I recommend undergoing the following process: begin setting tiny tangible goals with timelines for achieving these goals. Over time, you can raise the benchmark and/or set tougher goals, but the idea is to habitualize yourself into working toward something and thereby gaining more confidence in taking action.

    Also, a strong argument can be made that the ultimate test of your theories is the practical application of them. Therefore, your theories won't reach their fullest potential without action. And for theories that are more abstract and can't be tangibly verified, still, the ultimate test will be whether or not you have the conviction and integrity to support the theory.

  9. #9
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Socionics
    SLE
    Posts
    6,364

    Default

    I, too, restrain myself from making others feel depraved.

    OP: I relate to your post in its entirety. As such, I, unlike Provoker, have no useful words of wisdom to offer you.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  10. #10
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Posts
    3,424

    Default

    Wow, look at all the lonely people. Best wishes, INTPs.

    --John Lennon
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

Similar Threads

  1. [INTP] How do you know an INTP is in love? INTP's please Help!
    By ana in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: 05-05-2016, 03:53 PM
  2. [MBTItm] Please help this xNFP sort out reactions to an INTP friend (with bennies)
    By I Never Find Peace in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 06-09-2011, 01:29 PM
  3. [MBTItm] help an INTP understand an ESFJ
    By quamdel in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 09-02-2010, 02:24 PM
  4. [INTP] Please help! I'm in love with an INTp
    By Marie in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 191
    Last Post: 01-18-2009, 12:13 PM
  5. [INTP] Being an INTP has become a LIVING HELL. HELP.
    By the_STRATOSPHERE in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 06-07-2008, 06:51 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO