[NT] Extroverted NT - how do you deal with stress?

[Qre:us]

How do you deal with stress? What situations cause the most stress? How long does it last, how does it manifest itself, and what do you do to resolve it?

**if possible, please give examples of: minor daily-life stresses, and those, blind-sighted-by-life stresses


Finally, in terms of introspection, what do you see as the positives of how you deal with stress? And, what areas do you think you need to work on most, in terms of stategies of handling stress?

 

[LeonardoLestat]

Just handle the situation NO-MATTER-WHAT.
I rarely back down from the world.. if I do, I'm fully spent.
I can't back down because it's natural for me to act on things instead of something else.

Other solutions:
-Stomping my feet yelling about what I want and what I think
-Junkfood
-Sex

 

[jenocyde]

When I feel exhausted, I get stressed. I mean exhausted emotionally. I try to always find solutions. I love problem solving. But when people complain at work or at home and all my efforts fall on deaf ears, and I just find myself repeating myself over and over, it exhausts me.

I've come to the conclusion that most people love to whine and complain and no one really wants to solve their problems, they just like the attention that drama causes. So hearing the same stories repeated over and over for dramatic effect drains me, and stresses me out. Don't ask me for advice if you have no intention of following it. I put a lot of thought in resolving things, I care about the problems my friends are going through. When I find out that your problems are just for show and you could care less about fixing them, but you continue to complain constantly - arrrgh. Drives me crazy.

Also, someone needing me too much. I have a friend that I spoke to every day for a week when she was going through a crisis, now she expects an every day phone call. If I turn off my phone, I wake up in the morning with at least 5 texts from her wondering where I am, as if she owns me. If I have to go, she'll start an argument with me to keep me on the phone longer. This controlling behavior stresses me out beyond belief and makes me hate her ENFP needy ass. And I don't enjoy feeling strong emotions, I resent her for making me feel them.

When I'm yelling or arguing, I'm still involved and there's still a chance to work it out. When I turn silent, you better believe the conversation is over. I withdraw. I stop answering my phone and I don't go out. I don't want to talk to anybody. I turn to physical activities like sex or anything that turns my brain off for a while. I watch a lot of films. After about a week of clearing my head, I come back, colder and harder than before and tell everyone exactly what I will and will not put up with. Then I quickly get back to my friendly happy-go-lucky problem solving like none of it ever happened.

 

[mtaclof]

I turn to my family or friends when I get very stressed out. I prefer my family, but there are some aspects of my life I hide from them, so I can't always present my problems to them.
It's very rare that I become seriously stressed out. I'm pretty adept at noticing what bothers me and coming to terms with it before it becomes some sort of emotional cyst. I prefer to surround myself with passionate, positive people when I'm down. The presence of fun-loving, excitable people always puts me in a good mood.
One thing I try not to do, on account of the negative effects on my mood is to spend time alone. All my coping mechanisms involve socializing with people who are either:
A) Adept at empathizing with my issue, or;
B) In a positive, pleasant state of mind.

 

[Ezra]

When I'm stressed, I tend to take it if I deem the situation appropriate (e.g. if someone has made a joke or said something in jest that I might take extreme offence to for whatever reason, I'll refrain from getting worked up about it, for fear of making the situation worse by giving them what they want).

Generally, my stress normally arises out of boredom as opposed to getting frustrated by people's comments (which I've learned to deflect for the sake of something like "social pragmatism". In this case, I'll try to channel it into constructive activities. I tend to have more energy, which I can divert into something like running or working out.

I tend not to lose control (when I do, it has little to do with stress, and more to do with a single, momentary situation which gives rise to a quick whip of my fury, which subsides just as quickly).

 

[mtaclof]

When I'm stressed, I tend to take it if I deem the situation appropriate (e.g. if someone has made a joke or said something in jest that I might take extreme offence to for whatever reason, I'll refrain from getting worked up about it, for fear of making the situation worse by giving them what they want).

Generally, my stress normally arises out of boredom as opposed to getting frustrated by people's comments (which I've learned to deflect for the sake of something like "social pragmatism". In this case, I'll try to channel it into constructive activities. I tend to have more energy, which I can divert into something like running or working out.

I tend not to lose control (when I do, it has little to do with stress, and more to do with a single, momentary situation which gives rise to a quick whip of my fury, which subsides just as quickly).

I am the same way. I'm able to shoulder massive amounts of stressors, but some interpersonal exchanges can often provoke pretty extreme reactions from me.
It's difficult for me to be too bothered by things that can't be helped(turns of bad fortune, etc).

 

[Cenomite]

There are two main areas that stress me out, school and friends.

The only way friends can stress me out is if I've just had a bad argument with a close friend, and it ended on bad terms. This almost never happens because I'm pretty easy-going and accepting, and it usually resolves itself in a day or so. When it does happen though, I'm pretty much incapacitated until it's resolved. I just deal with this by going about life, knowing that it'll work itself out.

The bigger problem is school. Being academically successful is very important to me, and my #1 priority. If my grades start to slip in a course that I should be good at, such as one that is related to my major or a class in my major itself, I really start to freak out and beat myself up over it. When this happens, I tend to turn into a workaholic, staying at campus for 8+ hours studying or locking myself in my room (except on weekends, I can't go without doing anything for THAT long!). I'll do this for a week or two so I know for certain that I'll be good for the next test.

This hasn't happened a whole lot, but it's the only thing that can really get to me. My way of dealing with it isn't really the best, but it's the only way I know how really.

 

[Qre:us]

When I'm yelling or arguing, I'm still involved and there's still a chance to work it out. When I turn silent, you better believe the conversation is over. I withdraw. I stop answering my phone and I don't go out. I don't want to talk to anybody. After about a week of clearing my head, I come back, colder and harder than before and tell everyone exactly what I will and will not put up with. Then I quickly get back to my friendly happy-go-lucky problem solving like none of it ever happened.

Yes. Esp. the bolded, I can relate to. Getting quiet is NOT a good sign. It's almost like this facade of extreme calmness comes over me, when I know everything is brimming right to the lid. That's usually when others know that they need to leave me alone. As, at that time, whatever the other person says, in response all I'll be doing is, looking them dead-straight in the eye, holding it, and saying nothing. It is a livid gaze, but, nothing else is gestured. No response, no twitch, no reaction from me. I am just watching them yell/talk - a level gaze held. Until they just get fed up of asking me, "Why don't you say anything? Are you going to respond? Why are you looking at me like that?" Get squirmy. And, hurriedly leave.

And, that's when my stress can be released, finally, when they all leave (younger - with things destroyed). Now, more productive outlets of energy release.

And, when I go back to confront the issue, once head cleared, I have my arguments set up locked-and-ready and air tight. In interpersonal matters, I find that it is imperative I separate myself from the issue without reacting, as I will make a whole mess of it otherwise, and say things that I probably would regret. Cuz once in the zone, the in me is looking to score as many points by hitting as close to home, again and again. Not good. Esp. with loved ones. I need my *away* time.

 

[laintpe]

well, according to a few of the vent people, i am an entp. so let's see... stress. well, when i'm stressed, i go to the team locker room to work on homework in the hopes that no one else will come in. i also go home and/or go to sleep. sometimes i run on the bike trail. mostly, i waste time making detailed schedules to obtain this false sense of control. if people try to talk to me or (especially) tell me what to do/interfere with my schedule... the schedule that will probably not be followed anyway (but that doesn't justify anything for them) they go on the hate list.... sometimes the "zap" list.

so, "fellow" Entps, do you think you can relate?

 

[Night]

I deconstruct it. Then, I handle each component part as an individual unit. Makes the final production much easier to understand.

More often than not, psychological "stress" is a social construct. Generally, it is existentially unwarranted.

 

[Anja]

Verbalizing it goes a long way toward helping for me. Once I acknowledge and state it I am already more relaxed.

 

[Qre:us]

^ The carrot-man believes himself to be a peacock! Existential crisis indeed!

But, he speaks some great truths. Simple. Break it down.

Although, I would be interested if you could elaborate on what you mean by

More often than not, psychological "stress" is a social construct. Generally, it is existentially unwarranted.

 

[Night]

Most of what compels anxiety is socially created and has little real currency on the finality of our lives. Extraneous things like problems with money; social anxiety (Do I look "good"? / What does this person think of me?"); emotional insecurity (Am I good enough for...?); etc. tend to unreasonably occupy our psychological vision, disproportionate to their fundamental worth.

Many of these peccadilloes are ultimately unworthy of any great emotional investment as they are often reinforced by external social mores and have little bearing on the trajectory of our lives. (Obviously, unchecked financial problems can (and will!) build up and contaminate our lives if we do not sincerely address these certain flash-in-the-pan instances.)

This isn't to suggest that I think stress is entirely a worthless concept. Just that it's often ill-applied.

 

[garbage]

I end up talking it out with someone, or with multiple people. Failing that, getting out of the house or getting exercise works more than I'd expect.

 

[Maverick]

The first way I deal with "stress" is by listing what is stressing me, why, and what I can do about it. Second, I stop myself from analyzing the situation further and use meditation and relaxation techniques to clear my mind. Third, I engage in distracting activities. These steps usually eliminate stress quite quickly.

 

[Synarch]

Sex. Sleep. Drink. Dance. Masturbate.

 

[jenocyde]

^^Drink. Masturbate. Sex. Dance. Sleep.

 

[entropie]

I second that, but "Sex and me" is only wishful thinking