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  1. #1
    Senior Member Hendo Barbarosa's Avatar
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    Default INTJs tend to ask definitive questions?

    I noticed something about conversations I have with my INTJ friend, that in my own personal experiences seem related to a characteristic I had with a previous INTJ friend. When we both make assertions at each other, we tend to end them with question marks, even if they aren't questions. An example being like "It's not my fault that you're wrong?" as a response to an initial question or something, in which the question mark serves no purpose except to soften the inevitable blow of the statement by making the punctuation open-ended.

    This only happens when I talk with other INTJs! It's enough to make me wonder if anyone else has experienced this passive-aggressive kind of gig, esp. on the internet, where punctuation in english comes as a free and easy commodity. Has anyone else ever observed this, possibly in any other types or anything?

  2. #2
    Kickin' Ass since 1984 GargoylesLegacy's Avatar
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    I sometimes do that myself with people. I put a questionmark tone or anything else that "softens" stuff a bit, just like you described it. Mostly I do that to not offend people too much, because I know that most of them see my very direct, honest behaviour as somehow threatening. Most people seem to be still *scared* when you tell them the truth. And since it is not really my intention to make some people unecessarily angry, uncomfortable or whatever, I *soften* my brutal honesty a bit.
    Rule #1: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.

    Again, Demons I get, but people are just crazy.

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Hendo Barbarosa's Avatar
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    yeah, that's exactly why I do it. I've literally said things to people with a complete and utter notion not of trying to be angry or aggressive, but to help out, and I get the reaction that happens when you tell someone to fuck off.

    So like, after enough of those, I think I tried to develop that "softening mechanism", if for no other reason than for people to actually GET what I'm saying, as opposed to just getting the offense.

  4. #4
    Kickin' Ass since 1984 GargoylesLegacy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hendo Barbarosa View Post
    yeah, that's exactly why I do it. I've literally said things to people with a complete and utter notion not of trying to be angry or aggressive, but to help out, and I get the reaction that happens when you tell someone to fuck off.
    Exactly. I had the same problem. People often see my honesty as personal attack. I don't mean to attack them. INTJs attack different (). But they thought it was one, no matter how often you told them to not see it as an attack, but as a chance to improve themselves. So yes, you just add a questionmark or a ", no?", "But that's just me" or something in the end.

    Man, look at how nice we are and at what we do to make all the other people feel more comfy with us.
    Rule #1: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.

    Again, Demons I get, but people are just crazy.

    ESTP? o.O

  5. #5
    Senior Member Hendo Barbarosa's Avatar
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    just working towards a better conversation, right?

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    ^Nice.

    Yeah I do this all the time, I make statements in the form of rhetorical questions. I do it for a few reasons, I think out loud so thoughts show up as undirected questions about whatever I'm trying to figure out. Sometimes it's a less threatening way to keep a conversation going without actually asking a direct question. It's also a less blunt way of stating whatever point I'm trying to get across. Does that make sense?

  7. #7
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    I hadn't realised I might be doing this, I try to be direct, but it might be interpretated wrong true, thanks for telling me about that.

  8. #8
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    I like to end statements with "no?" too... Perhaps it's a check for whether people understand and are following my arguments before I move on.

    Rhetorical questions really
    My stuff (design & other junk) lives here: http://nnbox.ca

  9. #9
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
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    It always seems to come of in an assured, or sarcastic way. At least on my end. My conversations and arguments can be very interesting with my dad. In fact that trait is the first thing that always strikes me about my dad.

    Do you find this as sort of a barrier or source of friction with INTPs or even ENTPs?
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  10. #10
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aimahn View Post
    It always seems to come of in an assured, or sarcastic way. At least on my end. My conversations and arguments can be very interesting with my dad. In fact that trait is the first thing that always strikes me about my dad.

    Do you find this as sort of a barrier or source of friction with INTPs or even ENTPs?
    Hah yes it is a bit sarcastic... I dare you to disprove me sort of attitude.

    I don't see it really as a source of friction with INTPs... certainly not for ENTPs. It's more or less there so you can build more onto your argument. Since they didn't object when you've gave them the opportunity to speak up... what's said was "good" so they can't go back and try to change it. Not that INTPs and ENTPs follow this... NJs do though.
    My stuff (design & other junk) lives here: http://nnbox.ca

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