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[INTJ] INTJs tend to ask definitive questions?

Hendo Barbarosa

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I noticed something about conversations I have with my INTJ friend, that in my own personal experiences seem related to a characteristic I had with a previous INTJ friend. When we both make assertions at each other, we tend to end them with question marks, even if they aren't questions. An example being like "It's not my fault that you're wrong?" as a response to an initial question or something, in which the question mark serves no purpose except to soften the inevitable blow of the statement by making the punctuation open-ended.

This only happens when I talk with other INTJs! It's enough to make me wonder if anyone else has experienced this passive-aggressive kind of gig, esp. on the internet, where punctuation in english comes as a free and easy commodity. Has anyone else ever observed this, possibly in any other types or anything?
 

GargoylesLegacy

Kickin' Ass since 1984
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I sometimes do that myself with people. I put a questionmark tone or anything else that "softens" stuff a bit, just like you described it. Mostly I do that to not offend people too much, because I know that most of them see my very direct, honest behaviour as somehow threatening. Most people seem to be still *scared* when you tell them the truth. And since it is not really my intention to make some people unecessarily angry, uncomfortable or whatever, I *soften* my brutal honesty a bit.
 

Hendo Barbarosa

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yeah, that's exactly why I do it. I've literally said things to people with a complete and utter notion not of trying to be angry or aggressive, but to help out, and I get the reaction that happens when you tell someone to fuck off.

So like, after enough of those, I think I tried to develop that "softening mechanism", if for no other reason than for people to actually GET what I'm saying, as opposed to just getting the offense.
 

GargoylesLegacy

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yeah, that's exactly why I do it. I've literally said things to people with a complete and utter notion not of trying to be angry or aggressive, but to help out, and I get the reaction that happens when you tell someone to fuck off.
Exactly. I had the same problem. People often see my honesty as personal attack. I don't mean to attack them. INTJs attack different :)D). But they thought it was one, no matter how often you told them to not see it as an attack, but as a chance to improve themselves. So yes, you just add a questionmark or a ", no?", "But that's just me" or something in the end.

Man, look at how nice we are and at what we do to make all the other people feel more comfy with us. :D
 

pippi

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^Nice.

Yeah I do this all the time, I make statements in the form of rhetorical questions. I do it for a few reasons, I think out loud so thoughts show up as undirected questions about whatever I'm trying to figure out. Sometimes it's a less threatening way to keep a conversation going without actually asking a direct question. It's also a less blunt way of stating whatever point I'm trying to get across. Does that make sense? :devil:
 

Siegfried

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I hadn't realised I might be doing this, I try to be direct, but it might be interpretated wrong true, thanks for telling me about that.
 

nightning

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I like to end statements with "no?" too... Perhaps it's a check for whether people understand and are following my arguments before I move on.

Rhetorical questions really :)
 

Simplexity

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It always seems to come of in an assured, or sarcastic way. At least on my end. My conversations and arguments can be very interesting with my dad. In fact that trait is the first thing that always strikes me about my dad.

Do you find this as sort of a barrier or source of friction with INTPs or even ENTPs?
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
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It always seems to come of in an assured, or sarcastic way. At least on my end. My conversations and arguments can be very interesting with my dad. In fact that trait is the first thing that always strikes me about my dad.

Do you find this as sort of a barrier or source of friction with INTPs or even ENTPs?
Hah yes it is a bit sarcastic... I dare you to disprove me sort of attitude.

I don't see it really as a source of friction with INTPs... certainly not for ENTPs. It's more or less there so you can build more onto your argument. Since they didn't object when you've gave them the opportunity to speak up... what's said was "good" so they can't go back and try to change it. Not that INTPs and ENTPs follow this... NJs do though.
 

Hendo Barbarosa

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yeah I mean, I often have to spend a long time with an INTP (and a lot of mental effort as well!) to come to a resolution anyways. I put in the effort though, because I've discovered that annoyingly enough they're almost always right.

I mean I've just learned to not try and go into too much of a "get to the bottom of this!" mode when talking?

Also, nightning I totally do the "yes it is?" or "no?" thing too for the sake of confirming. Another thing I notice that I do, but only if I'm nervous with a new person, is I often end each thing I say with an immediate "does that make any sense?" before they get a chance to say anything!

Mostly because I tend to instantly think they don't get it.

also, for good measure: :party:
 

01011010

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Ah, yes. I don't even bother to use question marks in my personal correspondence.
 

pippi

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Ah, yes. I don't even bother to use question marks in my personal correspondence.
People I talk to on IM have realized that every sentence is a question so I don't have to use question marks anymore either. :yes:

They also assume a snarky sarcastic tone. :D

Do you find this as sort of a barrier or source of friction with INTPs or even ENTPs?
I don't have any trouble communicating with INTPs or ENTPs, they know my favorite past time is mocking them. They can usually read between the lines. Other types are the problem, they take me literally.
 

Simplexity

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I guess I have it hard wired into me that statements are usually authoritative. My teachers and principals used this rule to full effect with me. My dad naturally does this, and being as he sort of holds that title, or held it, over me it rubbed me the wrong way at times. On my end I usually want to flex and stretch the topic at hand and am not really interested in a consensus or progress even, and that inevitably annoys the hell out of him. I like to twist and disprove in a pedantic way with him though. :D
 

GargoylesLegacy

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just working towards a better conversation, right?
I swear, people who always thought we INTJs have no pulse and whatever should rethink again. We are so nice. :D

Oh and on a light side-note: Did you just refer to 01011010 as a guy? She is not. :shock:
 

Scott

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I use a questioning tone in the same way, and I'm pretty sure I got it from an ENTP friend of mine in high school... [I also uses ellipses quite a lot, to give a feel of open-endedness, though I'd imagine this is probably more of an INTP thing than an INTJ thing (and I use parentheticals to to clarify my statements, and have been told that I modify much of what I say)]
 
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