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  1. #31
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I think the whole family is just going through that necessary and difficult phase, Haphazard. Unless there's another larger and unspoken issue it's just normal stuff.

    The deal is that both sides need to make adjustments to get through it.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  2. #32
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    It's taken me a long time to figure it out, but I think I know.

    He talks to me like I'm retarded, like I can't even understand basic English. He mocks me constantly. That's all he knows how to do, either to amuse himself or because I can't understand basic commands.

    And he wonders why I never talk to him.
    Tell him that. That's a good, specific answer.

  3. #33
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I had a mother who did this. By about 12 I'd list the things I hated what she did, then tell her I loved her dispite all that. At 16 I would flat out tell her if she didn't know the answer she never would. My mother was a backhanded sucker for my approval though; until one of us became an adult.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #34
    Senior Member Hexis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    How are you supposed to answer this question?
    A line I've used before, "Cause If I was you I'd killed myself a long time ago." It seems to cover everything...they dont like it very much though lol.
    SDMF

  5. #35
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    It's taken me a long time to figure it out, but I think I know.

    He talks to me like I'm retarded, like I can't even understand basic English. He mocks me constantly. That's all he knows how to do, either to amuse himself or because I can't understand basic commands.

    And he wonders why I never talk to him.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Tell him that. That's a good, specific answer.
    Agreed.

    My dad is a good guy, but he's always vacillated between wanting us to be close and wanting to amuse himself by pushing my buttons and then being surprised we weren't closer. I never hated him, but I did resent him saying things to irritate me, then punishing me for being disrespectful when I reacted LIKE HE PREDICTED I would in the first place. Grr.
    Something Witty

  6. #36

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    I agree as well. But I suggest you state the issues as calmly as possible, so that "blame" doesn't come across, only the problems you have with his behavior.

    If nothing else, you know you have leveled with him.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  7. #37
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    I don't hate you, i just don't know you that well, and i'm not good at letting people in.
    I N V I C T U S

  8. #38
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    Tell him exactly what you stated here, regarding the way he speaks to you etc.

  9. #39
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    If you want a message to be delivered, just let me know. I deliver on time

    ---

    No, sounds like a pretty stuck situation and he doesnt seem very nicely. What you said in your last comment, you probably should tell him, like 01011010 said.

    To the general problem I just can say that one day you are going to have a family of your own and then you dont need people who bring you down nomore. As sad as it sounds, you can choose your friends but not your family :/
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #40
    Senior Member Samurai Drifter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    my typical response to that goes as follows

    *snobby look*

    I don't hate you- hating takes too much effort.

    So true.

    My attitude towards the people who would ask me that could be described as indifference mixed with slight distaste.
    Hands in the air, it's a robbery.

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