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  1. #21
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    How are you supposed to answer this question?

    Particularly when you don't really like the person asking.
    How do you know the person hate's you? Why do you care if you don't like them?

  2. #22
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    "I didn't hate you until you asked me that question".

  3. #23
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    How are you supposed to answer this question?

    Particularly when you don't really like the person asking.
    This depends on if you want the situation resolved or not. Are you content disliking this person and comfortable with the person knowing you hate them? From your posts I'm guessing this is a parent. It could've been asked out of honest frustration and not attempts to manipulate. The relationship with your parents is one I would invest working towards a resolution/understanding. Ask yourself a few questions:

    1. Why don't I like my parents?
    2. What have they done to earn my dislike?
    3. Are my reasons for disliking them valid? I guess you all need to figure out what's valid and invalid, but until you're independent of your parents have they have trump card.

    It would be deeply unsettling for my parents to believe I hate them besides the usual turbulent teenage/parent relationship. It would signify major fissures within the relationship. I don't know what the relationship between you and your parents are so I'm reluctant to go into any more detail. If you believe your parents love you and are doing the best they can and know how to do with you then I think it's worth trying to work something out or at least have a few heart to hearts to understand each others ways more.

    Now that I'm a little older I'm appreciating more and more how my parents raised me and what they invested in my siblings and I. Looking back at our relationships they'll admit where they made wrong decisions and handled situations badly and I can see how I was being rebellious and difficult.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #24
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    I don't get it. Shouldn't it be the other way around? They should hate me. Because, of course, I'm an ungrateful little brat who lives in their house and eats their food.

    Projection, perhaps? I mean, he did ask me why he didn't drop me off at a Nebraska hospital and leave me there.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  5. #25
    Gotta catch you all! Blackmail!'s Avatar
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    Are you really full of hate, little Hap'?

    I don't think so. Hatred is for subjective people; I mean, for people who are stupid enough to hate you.

    Unless, of course, you hate yourself. But frankly, you shouldn't. You are amazingly intelligent for a teen, it's almost disturbing.
    "A man who only drinks water has a secret to hide from his fellow-men" -Baudelaire

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  6. #26
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    1. Because you play childish games like asking me "why do you hate me" instead of "can you help me understand why we don't get along."
    2. Many other reasons, where shall I start?

  7. #27
    Senior Member Darjur's Avatar
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    I tend to answer. Because you tend to ask questions which I have no answer for.

  8. #28

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    If the person asking is an insecure INTP like me, I would be as precise as possible in answering, but still truthful.

    It's common for teenage girls to dislike their dad, for instance. But hate is a strong word.

    If you dislike, but don't hate him, the say that. again, assurance that you don't hate him goes a long way.

    Tell him why you dislike him. What does he do that grates on you?

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  9. #29
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    It's taken me a long time to figure it out, but I think I know.

    He talks to me like I'm retarded, like I can't even understand basic English. He mocks me constantly. That's all he knows how to do, either to amuse himself or because I can't understand basic commands.

    And he wonders why I never talk to him.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  10. #30
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    It's taken me a long time to figure it out, but I think I know.

    He talks to me like I'm retarded, like I can't even understand basic English. He mocks me constantly. That's all he knows how to do, either to amuse himself or because I can't understand basic commands.

    And he wonders why I never talk to him.
    I think people do that when they're not at ease. I certainly have seen myself slip into critical and teasing frames when I've felt like something was gonna go wrong. The "why do you hate me" is another sign that he needs validation and approval.

    Edit: If you need me to explain it in simpler terms, I can.

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