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  1. #21
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Yes, he was being a shit and I would have strung my brother up for something like that. That said, I keep reminders of things like this around so that I could cancel the account before the renewal e-mail came out. Never leave money hanging, someone will aways come to grab it.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #22
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Principle often masks hurt feelings. People feel less justified talking about matters of feeling, whereas matters of principle are considered more lofty subjects of conversation.

    This is why people get things in writing! It's like the game of telephone. I think I am saying one thing and you think you are hearing another. Language is so limited. Spell out the expectations and be very clear. Sounds like this situation was not very clear from the get go. Your brother may be an ass, but it is certainly not clear to me without making some assumptions.
    Principle doesn't mask hurt feelings. Principle is there to ensure no one gets hurt in the first place. It's funny that you mentioned the game of telephone, because I don't know how you are interpreting my comments but let me make it clear - I don't think it's the end of the world or anything.

    I don't think revenge it's the way to go either. It's about trust. Substitute didn't ask his brother for help on a whim. He could have asked anyone but he asked family. For a reason. Because he trusts (I think) his family.

    If my brother told me he was blameless I'd be pissed. It's not like I'd stop talking to him or anything, but I'd be pissed. Of course Substitute isn't blameless, but that's not really the point.

  3. #23
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Yeah it's interesting that though it was an ENFP that ripped me off, it's another ENFP that's now saying the stuff I relate to most lol

    Or articulating the things I can't... /emotional retard

    I know there are logical measure I could've taken, but I didn't because I guess I foolishly trusted my brother and so didn't think they'd be necessary. After all, if he definitely wanted me and mom to take care of EVERYTHING to do with the account, why did he keep the financial stuff going to his email? Why didn't we question that? Because we trusted him.

    I guess I sorta feel like it's sad to feel like you HAVE to be on guard and getting things in writing when dealing with your own family. Naive of me I know... but that's how I usually dismiss my feelings, saying they're naive and unpractical and biased and not worth acting on... so when 'devils' make me feel shit by sticking to the letter of an agreement but going against its spirit, I too often let it slide because I don't consider my own feelings valid by default.

    That's why I'm interested in this situation as a 'specimen' for me to start learning how to discern how to weigh my feelings and when and how to act on them. I'm finding that total dismissal of them being the default reaction can lead to people conning me and getting away with it.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  4. #24
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Geez, I've just spent the last hour on the host's website and still haven't found out how to cancel!!

    What I have found out though is that the account resembles what mom and I agreed to years ago very little indeed!

    What started out as mom and I paying for just our domains and extras, paid from my bro's bank account, now has been put into my step dad's name (texted him, he didn't know), it has several other domains and packages added to it involving names I recognize from my bro's social circle, it's paid for by one of his friend's credit cards... and nowhere on any of it is my brother involved EXCEPT as the contact email address for the bills to be sent to.

    Does that smell fishy or WHAT???
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  5. #25
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Your brother is definitely being duplicitous, no question about that. The groceries, the timing of the bills and now this? Ok, just print out everything that you found and the next time the bill comes around, you and your mother should refuse to pay it based on the recent facts. This has been going on long enough!

    How much money it is doesn't matter - the fact is that it is your money.

    But after all of this, I hope that you keep him at an arm's length...

  6. #26
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Also, make sure to tell him that you tried to cancel it yourself but couldn't navigate the system. Since he was the one to set it up, ask him to cancel it...

    This way the onus is on him if yet another bill comes in for this whole thing! (at which point, you would then refuse to pay...)

  7. #27
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Hmmm.... Don't listen to me too much, I don't trust most of my family members a millicent as far has I can throw them. That is, unless it still provides data you find relevant.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #28
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    yeah I just discovered I can't cancel it myself anyway, you have to start a cancellation process which involves answering messages and sending back forms that are sent to the principal account holder's address - my step dad who lives 300 miles from me!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  9. #29
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    yeah I just discovered I can't cancel it myself anyway, you have to start a cancellation process which involves answering messages and sending back forms that are sent to the principal account holder's address - my step dad who lives 300 miles from me!
    *sigh* one of the benefits of growing up as the big brother - the little shit grows up to fear and respect you. :SaiyanSmilie_anim:

    Even when he gets big ripply muscles bigger than yours
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #30
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    actually my brother and I didn't grow up together... from when I was 5 to 23 I only saw him twice. we were reunited about 8 years ago and getting to know him now I feel like I'm getting to know Joe Fagin!!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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