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[INTP] Please help! I'm in love with an INTp

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
I don't want from time to time...I want forever! You know "happily ever after"? If that is possible with your type. :newwink::devil:

I would just advise against using the words "forever" and "long-term" around him, and you'll have a shot.
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
MBTI Type
type
Maybe for the ladies. But as far as I'm concerned, extreme persistence is indicative of genuine desire. If a girl who showed interest in me started "playing the long game" I'd lose interest pretty quick. You've got to stay in my face or I'll forget you're alive.
While that all may be true for most INTPs, the problem is that he knows how she feels already, and is nonplussed.
 

Marie

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
33
MBTI Type
InfP
Maybe for the ladies. But as far as I'm concerned, extreme persistence is indicative of genuine desire. If a girl who showed interest in me started "playing the long game" I'd lose interest pretty quick. You've got to stay in my face or I'll forget you're alive.


A friend who is dating an INTJ played long game per advice of other INTJs. Is it different with INTPs then?
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Maybe for the ladies. But as far as I'm concerned, extreme persistence is indicative of genuine desire. If a girl who showed interest in me started "playing the long game" I'd lose interest pretty quick. You've got to stay in my face or I'll forget you're alive.

This guy has already shown his colours when she showed her hand. He's not into desperation/neediness.
Most of us aren't into being "dragged" anywhere.
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
A friend who is dating an INTJ played long game per advice of other INTJs. Is it different with INTPs then?

It's different for me, and I'm an INTP. So...it might be just me, or it may be an INTP thing. Not really sure. I'm usually very self absorbed in my own interests to waste time chasing after a girl who can't make up her mind/doesn't show me she knows what she wants.

This guy has already shown his colours when she showed her hand. He's not into desperation/neediness.
Most of us aren't into being "dragged" anywhere.

That's fine, neither am I. Coming to get me shows me confidence in what you want. Not neediness or desperation. If he refuses this tactic than I can genuinely say with certainty he is not interested, although I'd take that position now with 95% certainty with what I've heard so far. But she seems persistent, so I'm offering what would work for me.
 

Marie

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
33
MBTI Type
InfP
While that all may be true for most INTPs, the problem is that he knows how she feels already, and is nonplussed.

Then why is he writing again. I started moving on and now he is talking to me again. My experience with guys is you never hear from them again. I'm afraid to confront him for fear he will run back to his cave. He is extremely shy. He's so cute! :yes: Plus I never used those words "forever" or even the "L" word..god forbid. :shock:
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
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Then why is he writing again. I started moving on and now he is talking to me again. My experience with guys is you never hear from them again. I'm afraid to confront him for fear he will run back to his cave. He is extremely shy. He's so cute! :yes: Plus I never used those words "forever" or even the "L" word..god forbid. :shock:
I would bet the cash that he's worried he was insensitive previously, and is being a nice guy, or trying to. INTPs are rather awful at being nice.
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
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5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I would bet the cash that he's worried he was insensitive previously, and is being a nice guy, or trying to. INTPs are rather awful at being nice.

I'd take that bet.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
so...casual conversation at this point doesn't convey interest?
what would?
i'm just trying to be helpful...because i've got nothing else to do...haha
 

Marie

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
33
MBTI Type
InfP
I would bet the cash that he's worried he was insensitive previously, and is being a nice guy, or trying to. INTPs are rather awful at being nice.

You think he is just feeling guilty? Not really interested in picking up where we started? I'd rather not hear from him. :steam:
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
so...casual conversation at this point doesn't convey interest?
what would?
i'm just trying to be helpful...because i've got nothing else to do...haha

How long the interest lasts on his part, I would think.
 

Siegfried

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
237
MBTI Type
?
You think he is just feeling guilty? Not really interested in picking up where we started? I'd rather not hear from him. :steam:

I think he would want to pick up, from where you both started, but I'm more of an INFP, INFJ and INTJ, rather than INTP. ;)
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
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Messages
9,098
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type
You think he is just feeling guilty? Not really interested in picking up where we started? I'd rather not hear from him. :steam:
It seems likely to me.

It could of course be that in your absence, he thinks he likes you more than he thought he did when you were present, which is no better a scenario. After you're back together, reversion occurs.

The sad state of affairs is that the vast majority of relationships which are conditional on sustained mutual interest don't last. To be optimistic about one which doesn't even look promising is asking for a let-down.
 
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