[INTP] Please help! I'm in love with an INTp

[Eye-In-TiPi]

I have been involved with an INTp for the last 4 months. We met on line and communicate primarily through emails. We have met a few times in person, since I live in another state.

I am an InFP. This is my first INTp and I have read many articles on his personality type. Just when I think I understand him, I am baffled once again by his behaviors. I don't know if he likes me more than friends. I only know that I am "in love" with him.

How would a typical INTp show their love or affection? I am ready to move on but something tells me don't give up hope.

He communicates with you. You met in person. Good signs, both. I think it's likely that he does like you more than friends.

Since you're already ready to move on anyway...

I suggest tearing of his/your clothes and measuring the reaction.

is good advice. After all, what do you have to lose at this point?

 

[Willfrey]

I think a direct approach is in order. Call him out on his feelings, expect sort of a delayed stumbling awkwardness for a few seconds followed by the truth. I've been painfully honest in my relationships be it for better or worse.

EDIT: Better yet bring it up in an e-mail, so he can ponder it and put into words exactly how he feels about you.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I have been involved with an INTp for the last 4 months. We met on line and communicate primarily through emails. We have met a few times in person, since I live in another state.

I am an InFP. This is my first INTp and I have read many articles on his personality type. Just when I think I understand him, I am baffled once again by his behaviors. I don't know if he likes me more than friends. I only know that I am "in love" with him.

How would a typical INTp show their love or affection? I am ready to move on but something tells me don't give up hope.

Need more info.

1. What behavior is baffling you?
2. What tells you that he's interested?
3. What tells you that he's not?
4. What have you actually talked about, out in the open?

 

[Tallulah]

Don't give up. INTPs are some really great people. Look at them like this: INFPs and INTPs have the same engine, but said engine runs off of a different fuel for each.

How do they show affection? Well from what I've seen they are private about the whole... Feely thing. One thing I think is INTP affection is when they carry on an intellegent conversation with you. This is saying to you that you are worthy to them in their mind, that you are intellegent. Another way to see that they care is if they let you in on their personal lives, what they are passionate about. But that goes with anyone.

You are doing good if you change their logic. This shows them even more that you are intellegent, and in term will earn you more respect.

An obstacle you will have to get over is the fact that if you are going through a hard time, they will still use their T. The worst thing is to get offended by this. A good example of an INTP trying to comfort me:

me: "Man... I can't believe that I crashed my car. This really sucks, I feel like shit."

Him: "Well, you could sell the car's parts that are in good condition to make some money to help pay for the ticket, and eventually a new car. You also are going to be getting taken to school by your parents, so you won't have to spend money on gas, seeing as how gas is outrageous right now."

me: "Yeah... That's true. I could do that. I feel so stupid though, I was only going like 25."

him: "Blah. Well it was just bad luck, you have your head in the clouds a lot, and that gas station is crowded a lot of the time."

me: "Yeah I guess..."

him: "Look on the bright side, at least you only dented their van. You don't have to pay for that."

etc...

They really are trying to help you, just in their own way. Watch out for this, and accept that they are trying to be helpful and that they care.

I hope I helped. I'm an INFP if you didn't notice.

LOL, this is so true. It's because we feel kind of helpless because you feel bad, and we want you to feel better, but have no idea what to say.

As to the OP, I think if you're ready to move on, I'd put out some feelers in an email or IM or however y'all communicate...just sort of lay it out there. The INTP in question either doesn't know that you are in love with him, or he does know it, but knows you probably won't make a move, so he's safe in ignoring the hints. It kind of sounds like you have a 50/50 chance. I wouldn't tell him you're in love with him, though. Just that you like him.

 

[Kaizer]

Not "You" and "This other person." These types are incompatible.

just curious, are there any types that are compatible?

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

How would a typical INTp show their love or affection?

by asking you to be his date for the Star Trek convention

 

[foodeater]

To OP: Either way, don't spend your time getting caught up on one guy. If he likes you, he'll do something about it. If he doesn't, then it's his loss. Don't sit around and wait for a guy. If he's a man, he'll get up and move.

Haha, yeah.. about that... I've been in multiple situations where I wasn't sure of the affection and couldn't "man up" and do something about it. Being able to give good advice would depend on how you've presented your feelings for him so far. All but the most obvious flirting eludes us, and even then sometimes we don't really catch it.. You don't have to come out and tell him you like him if you don't want to (that responsibility shouldn't rest solely on your shoulders) but some strong hints, like what others have suggested so far, would be great. If you've already been doing this then he's hopeless.

 

[alcea rosea]

I have been involved with an INTp for the last 4 months. We met on line and communicate primarily through emails. We have met a few times in person, since I live in another state.

I am an InFP. This is my first INTp and I have read many articles on his personality type. Just when I think I understand him, I am baffled once again by his behaviors. I don't know if he likes me more than friends. I only know that I am "in love" with him.

How would a typical INTp show their love or affection? I am ready to move on but something tells me don't give up hope.

Hehe, the title made me laugh. I think you really might need some help. INTP's aren't the most affectionate people in the world. I mean if they are, they aren't showing it.

 

[Marie]

OMG...thank you for all the posts. You all remind me of him in one way or another. I really liike INTPs! I want to post more details because it's a complicated relationship. But I'm nervous that he may be on this site and recognize details. Therefore I will respond privately to some of you.

I can say this...we have been physically intimate. It was great! (blushing) Then I told him my feelings for him and scared him away. We lost touch for a month then started talking again on and off for the past month through emails. My intuition says he is interested but my head or heart says beware.

Also, he is a weak "P" and sometimes switches to "J". That is what is confusing because he comes across as two different people. I get different vibes when he is "J". I sense he likes me when he is "P" and could care less about me when he is "J". Does this make any sense?

Finally, please notice I am an InFP. I sometimes lean more towards an ISFP. Is that type any more compatible with an INTp?

 

[Jack Flak]

OMG...thank you for all the posts. You all remind me of him in one way or another. I really liike INTPs! I want to post more details because it's a complicated relationship. But I'm nervous that he may be on this site and recognize details. Therefore I will respond privately to some of you.

I can say this...we have been physically intimate. It was great! (blushing) Then I told him my feelings for him and scared him away. We lost touch for a month then started talking again on and off for the past month through emails. My intuition says he is interested but my head or heart says beware.

Also, he is a weak "P" and sometimes switches to "J". That is what is confusing because he comes across as two different people. I get different vibes when he is "J". I sense he likes me when he is "P" and could care less about me when he is "J". Does this make any sense?

Finally, please notice I am an InFP. I sometimes lean more towards an ISFP. Is that type any more compatible with an INTp?

Wow, I hate you. No offense, I hate a lot of people.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

Wow, I hate you. No offense, I hate a lot of people.

Its all the F's and their hugging that did it, isn't it? Pushed a decent INT over the edge. *sigh*

 

[ThatGirl]

I can say this...we have been physically intimate. It was great! (blushing) Then I told him my feelings for him and scared him away.

Doesn't get much more complicated than this.




....seriously?

 

[Jack Flak]

Doesn't get much more complicated than this.




....seriously?

Are you serious? It's textbook behavior after the unspoken decision "I'll have sex with you, but I won't be your boyfriend." Which isn't uncommon.

 

[INA]

It was great! (blushing) Then I told him my feelings for him and scared him away.

Finally, please notice I am an InFP. I sometimes lean more towards an ISFP. Is that type any more compatible with an INTp?

I'd recommend you read some more and come to your own conclusions about the compatibility of your particular INTP+INFP combination. Nothing in this thread so far is gospel. Some agree some don't. Some would say ISFP is worse. Useless really. We don't know him at all.

 

[Marie]

lol

Wow, I hate you. No offense, I hate a lot of people.

LOL...that's exactly why i love INTPs!

 

[Lady_X]

^^ i know...and i wonder if it bugs them that others think it's cute.

 

[runvardh]

I can't help you get started, but when it is started and you get the first warm blasts, don't run. They don't do that when you're not worth it.

 

[Jack Flak]

I can't help you get started, but when it is started and you get the first warm blasts, don't run. They don't do that when you're not worth it.

LOL What. The Fuck.

 

[Salomé]

I can't help you get started, but when it is started and you get the first warm blasts, don't run. They don't do that when you're not worth it.

What are we dragons or sumthin?

Marie, I feel sorry for you. He sounds like a jerk.
Move on - if he wants you he'll follow, if he doesn't there's not a lot you can do about it.

 

[Jack Flak]

I have a pantsdragon. It's really quite charming.