I can say this...we have been physically intimate. It was great! (blushing) Then I told him my feelings for him and scared him away. We lost touch for a month then started talking again on and off for the past month through emails. My intuition says he is interested but my head or heart says beware.
I think you should ask him what happened. There are a lot of possibilities. Maybe he sensed you were needy and got turned off. Maybe he panics in the face of commitment. Maybe something was off about the sex. Maybe he's being too hard on himself. Maybe he's nervous about being nervous.
Also, he is a weak "P" and sometimes switches to "J". That is what is confusing because he comes across as two different people. I get different vibes when he is "J". I sense he likes me when he is "P" and could care less about me when he is "J". Does this make any sense?
It does to me. Personality isn't constant at all. People shift in and out of all sorts of egoic states/personalities depending on their past experiencing and current triggers. Relationships are very significant triggers and do all sorts of crazy shit. If you look at through the lens of transactional analysis (TA), people switch into parent, child, or adult states all the time in response to stress. Sex has a way of upping the ante (and correspondingly, the stress) which fosters switching into parent or child. Parent states tend to be nurturing or critical. Child states tend to be playful/immature or needy. You can sort out the MBTI correspondences yourself, if you think it's valuable.
Finally, please notice I am an InFP. I sometimes lean more towards an ISFP. Is that type any more compatible with an INTp?
I truly think you need to analyze the person beyond their type to determine compatibility.
Marie, I feel sorry for you. He sounds like a jerk.
Move on - if he wants you he'll follow, if he doesn't there's not a lot you can do about it.
Please.....don't feel sorry for me and he's definitely not a jerk! He is the most decent and fascinating guy I've met in my 35 years on this planet! He's more complicated and totally different than anyone I've known but I think he is worth the effort I've put forth to understand him.
My instincts say...give it some more time. There is no one else worth the wait on the horizon.
Yes no matter what you do don't judge people solely on their personality type.
A good friend of mine is an ESTJ... They have a bad rep. He's a nice guy, he likes to play video games with me.
On the other hand, I know another INFP who is just plain mean. He is a legit INFP, he typed himself. He must be very unhealthy, but I'm not going to waste my breath on him because he's an INFP, my ESTJ friend deserves my time because he's a good person.
Ooh girl, yes you do need help. Not even other INTPs can help you with this one. In my humble opinion, other people/types are *much* better advice givers of INTP behavior and "what it means"/"what it's all about" than INTPs themselves when it comes to relationships.
Good luck with everything.
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde