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[INTP] Please help! I'm in love with an INTp

INA

now! in shell form
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,195
MBTI Type
intp
What are we dragons or sumthin?

Marie, I feel sorry for you. He sounds like a jerk.
Move on - if he wants you he'll follow, if he doesn't there's not a lot you can do about it.

Yup. I'd even say it doesn't matter if he wants you. Doesn't follow--> he's history.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
What are we dragons or sumthin?

:blush: Being on the recieving end was a bit intense for my immature and fucked up soul at the time. It's brain breaking to comprehend being worthy of it.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
I can say this...we have been physically intimate. It was great! (blushing) Then I told him my feelings for him and scared him away. We lost touch for a month then started talking again on and off for the past month through emails. My intuition says he is interested but my head or heart says beware.

I think you should ask him what happened. There are a lot of possibilities. Maybe he sensed you were needy and got turned off. Maybe he panics in the face of commitment. Maybe something was off about the sex. Maybe he's being too hard on himself. Maybe he's nervous about being nervous.

Also, he is a weak "P" and sometimes switches to "J". That is what is confusing because he comes across as two different people. I get different vibes when he is "J". I sense he likes me when he is "P" and could care less about me when he is "J". Does this make any sense?

It does to me. Personality isn't constant at all. People shift in and out of all sorts of egoic states/personalities depending on their past experiencing and current triggers. Relationships are very significant triggers and do all sorts of crazy shit. If you look at through the lens of transactional analysis (TA), people switch into parent, child, or adult states all the time in response to stress. Sex has a way of upping the ante (and correspondingly, the stress) which fosters switching into parent or child. Parent states tend to be nurturing or critical. Child states tend to be playful/immature or needy. You can sort out the MBTI correspondences yourself, if you think it's valuable.

Finally, please notice I am an InFP. I sometimes lean more towards an ISFP. Is that type any more compatible with an INTp?

I truly think you need to analyze the person beyond their type to determine compatibility.
 

Marie

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
33
MBTI Type
InfP
sorry?

What are we dragons or sumthin?

Marie, I feel sorry for you. He sounds like a jerk.
Move on - if he wants you he'll follow, if he doesn't there's not a lot you can do about it.


Please.....don't feel sorry for me and he's definitely not a jerk! He is the most decent and fascinating guy I've met in my 35 years on this planet! He's more complicated and totally different than anyone I've known but I think he is worth the effort I've put forth to understand him.

My instincts say...give it some more time. There is no one else worth the wait on the horizon. :hug:
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Yes no matter what you do don't judge people solely on their personality type.

A good friend of mine is an ESTJ... They have a bad rep. He's a nice guy, he likes to play video games with me.

On the other hand, I know another INFP who is just plain mean. He is a legit INFP, he typed himself. He must be very unhealthy, but I'm not going to waste my breath on him because he's an INFP, my ESTJ friend deserves my time because he's a good person.
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
MBTI Type
type
Has anyone said the match is always bad? All I said is, if it's already screwed, don't bother trying to resurrect it.

Which of course, is awful advice, because no matter what anyone has said or will say here, Miss INFPants here will still have a crush on the boy who doesn't like her.
 

laintpe

Summer
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
635
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
I think you should forget about that guy and start making a move on Jack Flak.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
Please help! I'm in love with an INTp

Ooh girl, yes you do need help. Not even other INTPs can help you with this one. In my humble opinion, other people/types are *much* better advice givers of INTP behavior and "what it means"/"what it's all about" than INTPs themselves when it comes to relationships.

Good luck with everything.
 

Marie

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
33
MBTI Type
InfP
Has anyone said the match is always bad? All I said is, if it's already screwed, don't bother trying to resurrect it.

Which of course, is awful advice, because no matter what anyone has said or will say here, Miss INFPants here will still have a crush on the boy who doesn't like her.

And whats wrong with that? :smile:
 

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
I have been involved with an INTp for the last 4 months. We met on line and communicate primarily through emails. We have met a few times in person, since I live in another state.

I am an InFP. This is my first INTp and I have read many articles on his personality type. Just when I think I understand him, I am baffled once again by his behaviors. I don't know if he likes me more than friends. I only know that I am "in love" with him. :wubbie:

How would a typical INTp show their love or affection? I am ready to move on but something tells me don't give up hope.
Since you are ready... move on.
 

Siegfried

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
237
MBTI Type
?
If he's a good guy it should be fine, deal with it as you see the current situation, MBTI is MBTI, not the actual people. :)
 

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Yes, it was a mess and we got beyond that. Well, he is the one who is making contact again so I'll just let him take the lead this time.
Good idea. :hug:
 
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