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  1. #31
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Ok, so this actually brought another thought into my head.

    How long do you generally feel defeated, before your brain can't possibly help coming up with solutions. Then once you have those solutions, you know there is nothing else you can do but apply them?

    Ever just want to play dead, but damn it you cant because youre a natural fighter?
    Sounds so much like my attitude, sure you crash for a while, but the natural fighting spirit always bounces you back up and onto that saddle.

    Sometimes, when in the heart of defeat and exhaustion from life, the saying "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" seems like a crock of shit, but one day when you are back on form you realise how true that saying is.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  2. #32
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    ...Ever just want to play dead, but damn it you cant because youre a natural fighter?
    Yes, I have distinctly had the desire to just lay down and die and just put an end to things, when I've been in horrid situations where I felt I had no control to make changes.

    But I can't.
    Some people can quit. For some reason, it's just not something I can do.
    So I get back up and use my head and imagine some more options and then try again.
    So far it's worked.

    Sometimes you do have to have to let go of the idea you can control other people's responses to you. You can only control your own choices; everything else is tenuous and prone to flux.

    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Sometimes, when in the heart of defeat and exhaustion from life, the saying "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" seems like a crock of shit, but one day when you are back on form you realise how true that saying is.
    Yes, and some of us (I think) have gotten damn strong by this point.
    But it wasn't a lot of fun at the time.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #33
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post

    Sometimes you do have to have to let go of the idea you can control other people's responses to you. You can only control your own choices; everything else is tenuous and prone to flux.



    Yes, and some of us (I think) have gotten damn strong by this point.
    But it wasn't a lot of fun at the time.


    Yes, it is unfortunate when the responses you recieve from people are one of two redundant themes.

    "Who the hell does thatgirl think she is, someone should teach her she can't always get what she wants"

    "So you slow down, seriously what were you thinking taking on so much, your young, you cant have it all you know. Grow up"

    But I swear to god if I have to watch one more person stand in front of me and throw shit at me then smile as I squirm around to find solution, someone is going to loose an eyeball. Then everyone else says, oh well so you failed.

    I guess the frusteration comes from wanting to apply strategy, but getting hit with irrelivant tactical tactical tacticle. After a while you feel like everytime you come up with solutions, you are allowing other people to set the theme to your life, because the solutions you must come up with dominate your time and thwart your own plans while you struggle to just maintain. And then when people say well it will make you stronger, it is such a slap in the face, what does that mean, youll be able to piss even more people off with your bulldozer attitute. Its understanding the cycle that is frusterating.



    I wouldnt mind life and fixing things if the attention wasnt burning a hole in my back.

  4. #34
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Yes, it is unfortunate when the responses you recieve from people are one of two redundant themes.

    "Who the hell does thatgirl think she is, someone should teach her she can't always get what she wants"

    "So you slow down, seriously what were you thinking taking on so much, your young, you cant have it all you know. Grow up"
    True, I hate it when people feel compelled to excuse their opposition as some agent of Fate in my life, rather than evaluating their own behavior to see if it's necessary. They're sort of blowing you off with responses like this.

    I guess the frusteration comes from wanting to apply strategy, but getting hit with irrelivant tactical tactical tacticle.
    It's pretty effective, isn't it? Long-term strategy doesn't necessarily always win, some people are only concerned about short-term success and really throw a wrench into things, able to erode you down bit by bit.

    After a while you feel like everytime you come up with solutions, you are allowing other people to set the theme to your life, because the solutions you must come up with dominate your time and thwart your own plans while you struggle to just maintain. And then when people say well it will make you stronger, it is such a slap in the face, what does that mean, youll be able to piss even more people off with your bulldozer attitute. Its understanding the cycle that is frusterating.
    You know the way around it, don't it?
    ^^^^ Go around it.

    Or, perhaps, change the goal/conflict so that you no longer need to fight them. They'll have no power to get in your way.

    Practical example:
    In a relationship where someone's stomping all over your boundaries, basically stop arguing. Accept their reluctance to engage the way you think is necessary. Tell them what you're willing to do and what you're not willing to do to maintain things, then leave the ball in their court to respond. If they engage as you need, then you'll engage; if they don't, then you let the relationship stay wherever they place it.

    See? Change your inner goal and what you're trying to accomplish to suit the resources you have as well as the opposition you are facing. Negate the opposition by reframing the conflict.

    I wouldnt mind life and fixing things if the attention wasnt burning a hole in my back.
    You're right, it's a tedious and exhausting pisser to keep dealing with the equivalent of piddly guerrilla warfare that seems to serve no larger plan. Stop letting them suck out your energy, stop engaging them as much as possible. They generally only have what power you give them.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #35
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    those posts are soo lonng
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  6. #36
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post
    those posts are soo lonng
    sorree.
    i will stop use-ing big words.
    does that help ewe?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #37
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    sorree.
    i will stop use-ing big words.
    does that help ewe?
    maa ma
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  8. #38
    Alexander the Terrible yenom's Avatar
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    the point of all this is learning to overcome adversity and trying tour best.
    there are no long term solutions to life;s problems, anything gained can be lost. including your ;life. In the end, death aleways takes aweay everyrhing.
    It is up to you to make the best of what you have and creatre your oewn purpose in life.
    The fear of poverty turns people into slaves of money.

    "In this Caesar there are many Mariuses"~Sulla

    Conquer your inner demons first before you conquer the world.

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