• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[NT] Having a little trouble right now

nomadic

mountain surfing
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,709
MBTI Type
enfp
i think no matter how bad something gets, i think moving to a different place is always an option

thankfully, growing up in an english speaking country means i can always teach english overseas as some emergency escape in case all goes to hell.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
i think no matter how bad something gets, i think moving to a different place is always an option
thankfully, growing up in an english speaking country means i can always teach english overseas as some emergency escape in case all goes to hell.

I thought of this......also faking my death
 

nomadic

mountain surfing
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,709
MBTI Type
enfp
I thought of this......also faking my death

uh... thats too crazy!

its better to just move. change ur number. and never be heard from again except if you want to contact the guy. which u seem like u don't want to

at least its in your control then, any sort of contact.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
What makes you think this is related to a guy?


That's horribly offensive
 

nomadic

mountain surfing
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,709
MBTI Type
enfp
^ not really offensive

most of the talk here is in regards to relationships

i think most of us came here because of some relationship problem, issue, and wanted to do the mbti thing to learn more about what happened... also the sense of community...

either way, its ur decision to talk about it or not... hope all works out for u~
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
Understanding what the point in learning is.



If in a months time, everything can change. And life and people fuck you over so hard (beyond your control), that every foundation you have worked so hard to maintain comes crashing down around you until your left with nothing.


I dont understand right now, what the point of learning, strategizing, fixing, going going going, is. When it seems like, learning is all you have, and your never allowed to move forward.

What is the point?

Learning is moving forward. Depends what you want. If you just want to have fun, an emotional life, then just have fun and don't bother learning, but don't expect to have any money. If you want a sucessful career then learning is the way to go. Most people do best with some balance. Look at it this way, you learning so you can have more fun.

BTW, you have the most volatile personailty thing going.

ENTP->INFP->ENTJ->ENTP

What's next?
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
I dont think I was able to arrticulate my point correctly


It was, BEYOND YOUR CONTROL, life circumstances, situations.

Everyone says well, at least you learn something from it, but after a while, your like "Really, I don't think I need anymore life lessons at the moment, what I NEED is for my hard to work net concrete results."

Its like, lessons only take you so far, specially when they are presented to you after the fact. Anyone who lives in a possibility orriented world and strives for actualization with in their plans, Im talking major life plans here, has at some point become frusterated with the fact that there are all these rules and consequences that don't pertain to anything in regards to the bigger picture. And that sometimes, stupid masses of grey matter can cause lots of needless destruction to your plans if people are immature and focused on you for whatever reason.
 

Typology

New member
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
167
MBTI Type
epyT
Enneagram
...
I dont think I was able to arrticulate my point correctly


It was, BEYOND YOUR CONTROL, life circumstances, situations.

Everyone says well, at least you learn something from it, but after a while, your like "Really, I don't think I need anymore life lessons at the moment, what I NEED is for my hard to work net concrete results."

Its like, lessons only take you so far, specially when they are presented to you after the fact. Anyone who lives in a possibility orriented world and strives for actualization with in their plans, Im talking major life plans here, has at some point become frusterated with the fact that there are all these rules and consequences that don't pertain to anything in regards to the bigger picture. And that sometimes, stupid masses of grey matter can cause lots of needless destruction to your plans if people are immature and focused on you for whatever reason.

I don't know, maybe I'm completely off base here, but it seems like you're just looking for reasons to give up. As clische as it sounds, and god do I hate saying it, but life isn't always easy, you have to keep going, you have to make the best of the hand you've been dealt, make lemonade, weather the storm...and what not...
 

BerberElla

12 and a half weeks
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
2,725
MBTI Type
infp
Ok, so this actually brought another thought into my head.

How long do you generally feel defeated, before your brain can't possibly help coming up with solutions. Then once you have those solutions, you know there is nothing else you can do but apply them?

Ever just want to play dead, but damn it you cant because youre a natural fighter?

Sounds so much like my attitude, sure you crash for a while, but the natural fighting spirit always bounces you back up and onto that saddle.

Sometimes, when in the heart of defeat and exhaustion from life, the saying "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" seems like a crock of shit, but one day when you are back on form you realise how true that saying is.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,192
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
...Ever just want to play dead, but damn it you cant because youre a natural fighter?

Yes, I have distinctly had the desire to just lay down and die and just put an end to things, when I've been in horrid situations where I felt I had no control to make changes.

But I can't.
Some people can quit. For some reason, it's just not something I can do.
So I get back up and use my head and imagine some more options and then try again.
So far it's worked.

Sometimes you do have to have to let go of the idea you can control other people's responses to you. You can only control your own choices; everything else is tenuous and prone to flux.

Sometimes, when in the heart of defeat and exhaustion from life, the saying "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" seems like a crock of shit, but one day when you are back on form you realise how true that saying is.

Yes, and some of us (I think) have gotten damn strong by this point.
But it wasn't a lot of fun at the time.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Sometimes you do have to have to let go of the idea you can control other people's responses to you. You can only control your own choices; everything else is tenuous and prone to flux.



Yes, and some of us (I think) have gotten damn strong by this point.
But it wasn't a lot of fun at the time.



Yes, it is unfortunate when the responses you recieve from people are one of two redundant themes.

"Who the hell does thatgirl think she is, someone should teach her she can't always get what she wants"

"So you slow down, seriously what were you thinking taking on so much, your young, you cant have it all you know. Grow up"

But I swear to god if I have to watch one more person stand in front of me and throw shit at me then smile as I squirm around to find solution, someone is going to loose an eyeball. Then everyone else says, oh well so you failed.

I guess the frusteration comes from wanting to apply strategy, but getting hit with irrelivant tactical tactical tacticle. After a while you feel like everytime you come up with solutions, you are allowing other people to set the theme to your life, because the solutions you must come up with dominate your time and thwart your own plans while you struggle to just maintain. And then when people say well it will make you stronger, it is such a slap in the face, what does that mean, youll be able to piss even more people off with your bulldozer attitute. Its understanding the cycle that is frusterating.



I wouldnt mind life and fixing things if the attention wasnt burning a hole in my back.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,192
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Yes, it is unfortunate when the responses you recieve from people are one of two redundant themes.

"Who the hell does thatgirl think she is, someone should teach her she can't always get what she wants"

"So you slow down, seriously what were you thinking taking on so much, your young, you cant have it all you know. Grow up"

True, I hate it when people feel compelled to excuse their opposition as some agent of Fate in my life, rather than evaluating their own behavior to see if it's necessary. They're sort of blowing you off with responses like this.

I guess the frusteration comes from wanting to apply strategy, but getting hit with irrelivant tactical tactical tacticle.

It's pretty effective, isn't it? Long-term strategy doesn't necessarily always win, some people are only concerned about short-term success and really throw a wrench into things, able to erode you down bit by bit.

After a while you feel like everytime you come up with solutions, you are allowing other people to set the theme to your life, because the solutions you must come up with dominate your time and thwart your own plans while you struggle to just maintain. And then when people say well it will make you stronger, it is such a slap in the face, what does that mean, youll be able to piss even more people off with your bulldozer attitute. Its understanding the cycle that is frusterating.

You know the way around it, don't it?
^^^^ Go around it.

Or, perhaps, change the goal/conflict so that you no longer need to fight them. They'll have no power to get in your way.

Practical example:
In a relationship where someone's stomping all over your boundaries, basically stop arguing. Accept their reluctance to engage the way you think is necessary. Tell them what you're willing to do and what you're not willing to do to maintain things, then leave the ball in their court to respond. If they engage as you need, then you'll engage; if they don't, then you let the relationship stay wherever they place it.

See? Change your inner goal and what you're trying to accomplish to suit the resources you have as well as the opposition you are facing. Negate the opposition by reframing the conflict.

I wouldnt mind life and fixing things if the attention wasnt burning a hole in my back.

You're right, it's a tedious and exhausting pisser to keep dealing with the equivalent of piddly guerrilla warfare that seems to serve no larger plan. Stop letting them suck out your energy, stop engaging them as much as possible. They generally only have what power you give them.
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
7,708
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
738
those posts are soo lonng
 

yenom

Alexander the Terrible
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
1,755
the point of all this is learning to overcome adversity and trying tour best.
there are no long term solutions to life;s problems, anything gained can be lost. including your ;life. In the end, death aleways takes aweay everyrhing.
It is up to you to make the best of what you have and creatre your oewn purpose in life.
 
Top