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  1. #1
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Default Hurt feelings and NT's

    Ok, so its already immensely clear that the feelings of NF's are easily hurt. But since you guys are no robots, or so I've been told, I'd imagine that your feelings can get hurt too, no matter how much you try and protect them.

    So the question becomes..when does someone hurt your feelings and how? Coz we're so used to NT's joking around about being touchy feely and how it does not affect them, that I sometimes wonder if it makes us sometimes too careless with your feelings.

    Banter in this thread is of course to be expected and no problem, just plz, indicate when you're serious and not, using an emoticon (I know, I know) or some other indication. I still have trouble seeing what's humor and what's furreal with NT's I don't know.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #2
    Senior Member oasispaw's Avatar
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    i'm not an NT, but my boyfriend is. we've been together for over a year and i have yet to offend him. he's really good at dealing with my emotional outbursts though, that whole rational thing...

    good thing is that i can go to him with just about any complaint, even if it's about him, and he's cool with helping me fix it or whatever.
    just throw it against the wall and see what sticks.

  3. #3
    ThatGirl
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    My feelings dont generally get hurt, and even if they did, I probably wouldnt recocgnize.

  4. #4
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    So not even an NF in full fury about the fact that you stepped on their toes with what was meant to be a playful comment, can hurt you at that moment for calling you a coldhearted, cruel person?
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #5
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Sometimes. But since they're not part of our regular behavior or rationalization it really doesn't have any effect on our interactions and other people probably wouldn't notice.



  6. #6
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    I don't think that we don't get hurt; it certainly happens, though we generally don't cling to that as much as some other types. I'd say rather that we don't get offended quite as easily, but that's different. Especially for the more individualistic varieties of NT, insults not specifically tailored to the NT target can be like water off a duck's back.
    Sometimes the attempt to hurt is so obvious that we can't help but laugh at it. When someone who should know better does it, it's even worse when they choose poor weapons: "It hurts that you don't know better than to try that after all these years!!" Accidental success.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  7. #7
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    So not even an NF in full fury about the fact that you stepped on their toes with what was meant to be a playful comment, can hurt you at that moment for calling you a coldhearted, cruel person?
    Honestly, I could probabaly see their possition in some way. But if there wasnt any connection or it wasnt true at all, I'd just think they were an idiot.

  8. #8
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    can hurt you at that moment for calling you a coldhearted, cruel person?
    Actually something like this probably won't hurt, ever because we'd most likely take it as a compliment, and what you're really trying to say is "Man your logic and cool-headedness is so awesome and refreshing I wish I could do that but I can't because I'm an emotional mess."

    If our feelings get hurt it will most likely be if we try to make a contribution with our limited control of our feelings and we think when exposing ourselves it goes unnoticed or unappreciated.



  9. #9
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post

    If our feelings get hurt it will most likely be if we try to make a contribution with our limited control of our feelings and we think when exposing ourselves it goes unnoticed or unappreciated.
    ok, I've done this yes

  10. #10
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    It's somewhat difficult to penetrate my outer emotional layer.

    Chances are, if I don't know you, there's little you can do to leave a longlasting stain on my psychology. Short of hurting someone close to me, it's hard for me to receive emotional pain from strangers.

    Family members/friends have additional access to otherwise-protected areas of my psychology. As I've aged, I've been able to better balance/restrict the level of access I afford others.

    Forgiveness for minor offenses is pretty easy. I've noticed that I tend to create a profile for important people in my lives -- essentially, the portfolio itself contains a ledger of past offenses/positive behaviors paid to me/others I care about.


    Getting "hurt" is different for everyone. I don't know if my behavior reflects a "typical" NT or not.

    It's just what works for me.

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