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  1. #281
    wholly charmed Spartacuss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Would active questionning exacerbate it as well though? And I mean by that, asking how you would describe the feeling and how what I'm sensing is off, or what could be a logical explanation for why you are vibing that feeling while you're telling me I'm off. Coz I've had it happen that that triggers a sudden outburst of frustration and anger.
    Active questioning could exacerbate the annoyance if it continues a line that suggests persistence in a rejected assessment. If it is clear that the assessment is self-serving - that is, that the feeler's assessment is partly based on a selfish desire for you to have the feeling they have assessed - it can be infuriating. For some reason, when I intuit the self-serving motive behind an assessment, such as claiming a moral high-ground or excusing certain behavior, it ticks me off more that they persist yet assume a clinical attitude while being driven by their own subjective desires in generating the assessment.
    Ti (43); Ne (41.8); Te (33.7); Fi (30.5); Ni (27.5); Se (24.7); Si (21.5); Fe (17.3)
    The More You Know the Less You Need. - Aboriginal Saying

  2. #282
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacuss View Post
    Active questioning could exacerbate the annoyance if it continues a line that suggests persistence in a rejected assessment. If it is clear that the assessment is self-serving - that is, that the feeler's assessment is partly based on a selfish desire for you to have the feeling they have assessed - it can be infuriating. For some reason, when I intuit the self-serving motive behind an assessment, such as claiming a moral high-ground or excusing certain behavior, it ticks me off more that they persist yet assume a clinical attitude while being driven by their own subjective desires in generating the assessment.
    + 1

    Especially if the person in question is just trying to win the argument, not find out what's really true.
    Something Witty

  3. #283
    Senior Member Ishida's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not_Me View Post
    In my case, it would not. If I felt the insult was inaccurate, I would be annoyed and it would reinforced the "I'm surrounded by idiots" attitude.
    That's important to note. If you're just spewing a load of bull, you'll just make us not take anything you say seriously. Someone who barely knows you exclaiming "You're not very bright, are you?" because of social awkwardness leads to "Please." before hurt feelings. Though competence is the best way to go, I can attest. I can "burn" from insults, but usually if I get "hurt", it can only be done by myself.
    What a waste of life..

  4. #284
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacuss View Post
    Active questioning could exacerbate the annoyance if it continues a line that suggests persistence in a rejected assessment. If it is clear that the assessment is self-serving - that is, that the feeler's assessment is partly based on a selfish desire for you to have the feeling they have assessed - it can be infuriating. For some reason, when I intuit the self-serving motive behind an assessment, such as claiming a moral high-ground or excusing certain behavior, it ticks me off more that they persist yet assume a clinical attitude while being driven by their own subjective desires in generating the assessment.
    Mmm...for me its more of a 'where did I go wrong', and 'why did I perceive it this way' kinda feeling I have then and I wanna learn from it for the future , though the way in which I pose my questions might not be as well filtered as it would usually be as my Ne goes in overdrive at that point..which results in crudeness and trying desperately to relate..which can then be perceived as moral high ground or even come across as an accusation, I've noticed. So I guess that would explain the outbursts
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  5. #285
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    My feelings dont generally get hurt, and even if they did, I probably wouldnt recocgnize.
    What feelings?
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  6. #286
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    Oh pffft!
    I doubt you set that up.
    Actually he probably did set that up.

    Props to him. Funny funny funny.

  7. #287
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    My sister called me cold-hearted today because I wouldn't acknowledge something about her childhood. I rolled my eyes.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  8. #288
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Well, if we are going that route -- that's how I spent my entire first 30 years of life (and I'm not exaggerating), and I still spend a lot of time thinking about those things, I can't suppress that intensity of behavior, although I've eased up a great deal because I now trust my ability to deal without having to figure everyone out ahead of time.

    Yes, I was extremely neurotic. Interesting, I WAS the same way as you describe, and it was a signifier for major issues in my life -- I had to appear rational all the time and was constantly downplaying, negating, or dismissing any emotions I felt, as part of protecting myself from dismissive people.

    So I'm not sure whether I'm in agreement or disagreement with you on this. I do agree that often, habitual suppression/dismissal/disregard of emotions is a coping mechanism that reduces perceived vulnerability to external attack; however, there might be some other reasons in play as well... in addition to simply the differences between people.

    I do think I will say that "T" people actually can live jovial, relaxed lives, enjoying the moment, not having to pick apart every little statement someone makes, have healthy and relaxed relational bonds with people, not always have to be critical, etc. We can show good and bad emotions in healthy ways, without always having to ignore or push them away.

    IOW, we can be "balanced."
    Agree completely. I must not have clearly explained my stance.

  9. #289
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    Emotions are often not logical at all. They're there. They happen. Sometimes they come out of nowhere and have no apparent souce. They don't always make sense.
    This is something I had to come to terms with a while back. I was hell-bent to make sense of the things I felt, and determined that I could 'reason' them away. Finally I realized that there was no logical basis, and that no amount of anger, ignoring the problem, tackling the problem head on, or any other coping mechanism I could come up with was going to make it go away.

    I finally found peace with it when I just embraced it and let it have its way.

    The emotion I was dealing with for the first time - was LOVE.


    I laugh at the [INTJ = Robot] crap that rolls around. There may be some of them who say they don't feel anything, but they are probably not very healthy and should 'practice' trying to feel things the same way that a feeler should 'practice' not letting emotions lead them to irrational behavior.

    Neither will succeed all the time, but learning and embracing your 'opposite' tendencies can only help you in the long run. In all things, balance.

    /kung fu mentality off

    I've always felt things very deeply as a 4w5 (of course, I didn't have a handy number at my beck and call all those years to help me explain it) but the one emotion that I denied and repressed was ANGER for a very long time. I grew up visiting my other parents house on weekends where there was LOTS of anger and (physical) fighting and I guess I learned subconsciously that anger was scary and that I had to control it at all costs.

    I distinctly remember the day in our Kung Fu class when the instructor told us that we were going to use 'inner anger/rage' to project as much of it toward the focus mits that our partner was holding as we could. Why? Because in class, things stay very controlled and we are all friends. He wanted us to feel what it was like to see someone coming at us with the actual rage or emotion that they would have on the street so that we were prepared.

    It took me half the class to allow myself to drop the restraint on my anger, and after class I went home and cried. But... since then it has been as if something was freed in me and I've been able to admit when I'm angry at the moment that I am angry, which was a huge step for me.

    I still think though that T's are too much in their own worlds most of the time to get their feelings hurt by things that F's would, and it isn't necessarily that they're 'repressing' them, its that they aren't really registering with the same importance in the grand scheme of things.

    Embrace the possibilities.

  10. #290
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    If emotions seem illogical, that only means you don't understand them.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

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