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  1. #221
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kestrel View Post
    Huh? This is outlandish speculation at best. Why would anyone feel fear about this?
    Because they either do not understand or do not wish to accept that people don't feel as they do, and that their more natural mode is regarded by some thinkers as the redheaded stepchild and by others as an inferior mode of meeting life's challenges. Nobody likes that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kestrel View Post
    Why waste my time trying to justify how others "should" do things that don't come naturally to them?
    Why indeed! I am interested in your explanation for this common occurrence.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kestrel View Post
    With that said, I don't think T's "process" emotions the same way that F's do. But they are there, and should be acknowledged to some degree, at least to one's self (not publicly, the bane of a T).
    You sound more evolved on this. Acknowledging is a few steps from proclaiming depth where there is little.

  2. #222
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    You do realize that bitterness and melancholy are the effects of having prolonged never been dealt with *negative and hurt* emotions.

    Many NTs seem to be forlorn just below the radar, being either bitter, or melancholy, or both.

    EVERYBODY HAS FEELINGS.

    Though we might not process them the same way, they still exist, and they still need to be processed.

    For NTs to deny that they don't ever tend to suppress or repress their feelings, at times, is just downright untruthful, imo.

    When it comes to hurt feelings, *as a general rule*, we NFs tend to nip it in the bud, whereas you NTs tend to ignore what initially feels like a mere irritation until it festers and grows into something you are forced to confront.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

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  3. #223
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Is there a flip version of this?

    That the Feeler might fear to be seen as uncompassionate or not concerned/considerate enough and will have a tendency to cater to the emotive aspects of things regardless of what intellectual assessment might be made of the situation? (i.e., they know what was said and expected... but they still feel the need to cover their bases and show they were thinking of the other person's feelings.)

    Just as T's might find emotive displays or acting off "personal values" rather than justifiable standards more threatening to their sense of well-being, do F's find the thought of acting from some impersonal assessment more threatening to their sense of being compassionate considerate people?

    I'm just curious.

    (I thought a lot of NTs that spoke here would rather be thought of as "mean" than "illogical," if given the choice. NFs often seem to veer in the other direction.)
    Comes across correct to me. Ts could relax on seeming illogical while Fs could also worry less about seeming mean. That said, we're good at our own things for a reason. I'd rather get the emotions a T wants to give me rather than contrived ones just to make me happy even if they're neutral most of the time.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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  4. #224
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    When it comes to hurt feelings, *as a general rule*, we NFs tend to nip it in the bud, whereas you NTs tend to ignore what initially feels like a mere irritation until it festers and grows into something you are forced to confront.

    Your observations contrast with mine.
    Do you listen when NTs talk about their experiences with feelings? What do you think about the fact that so many do not agree with your description? Do you believe you know them better than they know themselves?

  5. #225
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmatic View Post
    Your observations contrast with mine.
    Do you listen when NTs talk about their experiences with feelings? What do you think about the fact that so many do not agree with your description? Do you believe you know them better than they know themselves?
    I am obsessed with Ts, (they intrigue me), my best friend is one, my sister is one, my father was one, and my ex is one, just to name a few.

    Granted, this is an incredibly small sample size, but I can only speak from my personal experience.

    And, yes, I do sometimes think I understand what a T is feeling better than they know it themselves.

    An emotionally intelligent, empathetic person will sometimes understand what an emotionally unintelligent person is feeling before, or better than that person does, or will.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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  6. #226
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    Do you think by virtue of being a feeler you are more emotionally intelligent? Do you think you are less intellectually intelligent as a feeler?
    I do not think so. Preference =/= ability.

    It's easy to be off-base if you are wrong in "feeling out" a person.

  7. #227
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    And, yes, I do sometimes think I understand what a T is feeling better than they know it themselves.

    An emotionally intelligent, empathetic person will sometimes understand what an emotionally unintelligent person is feeling before, or better than that person does, or will.
    Here's a T that can certainly see this being true.

    Sometimes I don't think a feeler's assessments of my feelings are accurate (as in another post I made in this thread). But I've very often seen where they'll pick up on something about my feelings that I don't in myself. For example, when I was talking to my therapist about my mother, he noticed my facial expressions change and he noticed something like a tic in my foot.. and he had to make me aware of those for me to see exactly how I felt.

    I know that I'm not in touch with my own feelings at times, and it's something that I'm very actively working on. "Emotional intelligence" is probably an apt term for what I'm trying to gain.

  8. #228
    Senior Member Kestrel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Is there a flip version of this?

    That the Feeler might fear to be seen as uncompassionate or not concerned/considerate enough and will have a tendency to cater to the emotive aspects of things regardless of what intellectual assessment might be made of the situation? (i.e., they know what was said and expected... but they still feel the need to cover their bases and show they were thinking of the other person's feelings.)

    Just as T's might find emotive displays or acting off "personal values" rather than justifiable standards more threatening to their sense of well-being, do F's find the thought of acting from some impersonal assessment more threatening to their sense of being compassionate considerate people?
    Actually, there is. Occasionally it does occur to me that I might come across as crass or obnoxious. And I do offend others sometimes, usually not on purpose. It's mostly because see I myself as someone who is aware (or tries to be) of others' emotions - so that if I do say something like that, I really have no excuses and I better be prepared to justify my actions. But I'm hard on myself about things like that. And a T might not be. T's are probably much more forgiving about things like that - with themselves and with others.

    And sometimes emotions are thrown into situations where they do not necessarily help in moving things along. This can be annoying for me, actually. If something needs to get done, no amount of crying, yelling, jumping up and down is going to to accelerate the process. Hopefully, most of us are beyond this stage.

    So yeah, I can acknowledge that if you try to shove feelings where they don't belong, things tend to implode. I've been there, done that. Too messy.
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  9. #229
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmatic View Post
    Do you think by virtue of being a feeler you are more emotionally intelligent? Do you think you are less intellectually intelligent as a feeler?
    I do not think so. Preference =/= ability.
    Pfft, no.

    I think I happen to be both empathetic and emotionally intelligent, (though both things go hand in hand), and that I had a genetic predisposition to be both.

    I also happen to be an ENFP, and I would imagine that there is some correlation between being emotionally intelligent and empathetic and being an NFP, (I can't speak for the other NF, or F types because I don't share their functions).
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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    Intelligentle sparkles

  10. #230
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    Here's a T that can certainly see this being true.

    Sometimes I don't think a feeler's assessments of my feelings are accurate (as in another post I made in this thread). But I've very often seen where they'll pick up on something about my feelings that I don't in myself. For example, when I was talking to my therapist about my mother, he noticed my facial expressions change and he noticed something like a tic in my foot.. and he had to make me aware of those for me to see exactly how I felt.

    I know that I'm not in touch with my own feelings at times, and it's something that I'm very actively working on. "Emotional intelligence" is probably an apt term for what I'm trying to gain.
    Wow, this example perfectly illustrates my point.

    Thank you for sharing.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

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