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Thread: INTJ humor

  1. #1
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Cool INTJ humor

    This thread is not so personal it is just that I want more private atmosphere and it doesn't damadge the look of this forum from outside if it is here.
    This thread could look like trolling since it is about something similar.


    I am looking at the thread about how to freak people out and I just can't imagine (actually I can) that people find things like that odd or somewhat disturbing. So I have created this thread to show people how to freak people out.


    Almost all the time I am just lost in my head ,thoughts and theoretical possibilities. But since no one can be 100% in any aspect. Because of that
    I have extroverted feeling side just like everyone else

    But this side is not actually fluffy and caring as it is normal for it.
    Actually it fits like a glove on a hand with my dominant side.

    My humor is generally apperciated but the thing is that I am very introverted so I always have the element of suprise, which is why I always leave the impression I want to leave.

    And I always scan the place, atmosphere and peoples moods before I make a joke to make sure that every element is in place.

    Here are some examples which I can remember that I said to other people


    father: You would do that just to hurt me.
    me : No I would not.
    father : Yes you would and I know enought to tell.
    me : You are so wrong.
    father : Just admit it, you don't want me near yourself.
    me: You are totally wrong, since in that case I would not be able to enjoy watching you go to work every morning.



    Once two couples asked me to have lunch with them and I accepted.
    But the place was crowded so we had to wait

    Then after 45 minutes(I am sitting at the head of the table)

    Girl1: I can't take much more of this I am hungry.
    Guy1: Well it takes time to slaughter what you will eat.
    Girl2: You are disgusting.
    Guy2: Yes, and it takes time to cut it in small pieces.
    Me: Bleh! Probably some amature did that slaughter so the level of blood in the kitchen is all the way to a knees. So they have to pump it out in the backyard before they can make us a meal. *continues to drink his ice tea*

    (on my language my comment sounds shorter)


    NO!NO!No!No! You can't have sex with a dead woman like that. There is too much mass to be make it pleasant. So you need to cut some parts off.
    Probably it would not be bad to put her in a freezer once you are done.
    Just in case that you get horny again next week.



    Once I had lunch with my familly and on TV there was an interview with the guy who is one of the largest vegetables producers in the country and the guy is huugge.

    Somewhere in the half an interview guy says "Look, vegetables are my past ,my present and my future "

    And then I said with smartass voice "And I bet that you own your appearance to the fact that you really like to eat vegetables"

    *female part of the familiy had to spit their soup back in the plates because of this.*



    Or I can tell some politically incorrect jokes.
    For an examle I like sexistic jokes but not because I am actually a sexist.
    I use them usually when I know that there are women inside earshot.

    Jokes like

    Why women have so small feet?
    So that they have easier time standing by a sink.


    Or jokes that are antitolerant against general public.

    Guy1: What are we going to do now?
    Guy2: Nothing. We will just kill those poor people, all 50000 of them and one very sexy and hot blonde.
    Guy1: Why blonde !?
    Guy2: YOU SEE! No one will even ask for the poor people.




    One more thing if mods will alow it. (if they allow any of this)
    If you really want to shock someone, here is something you should show them.

    The lyrics is in German but there are English subtitles if someone wants to know it.


    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA22lTKJNn8"]Buch dich[/YOUTUBE]


    Since I have posted this I would like to know if someone else does things like this and how they do this?

  2. #2
    Junior Member West's Avatar
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    I can't really remember any jokes off the top of my head, but suffice it to say, the general reaction to my 'humor' is: :steam:

    My brand of humor is fairly morbid couple that with severe introversion and we have a recipe for major misunderstandings. Either that or maybe I just don't hang out with the right people.

  3. #3
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    People can rarely tell I'm joking. Maybe, that's the common denominator.

  4. #4
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    People can rarely tell I'm joking.
    Is that because you keep a straight face or because your jokes suck?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Is that because you keep a straight face or because your jokes suck?
    Straight face, but my jokes might also really suck.

  6. #6
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    Straight face, but my jokes might also really suck.
    Steal other people's jokes, then.

    That's what an INTP friend of mine does.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Steal other people's jokes, then.

    That's what an INTP friend of mine does.
    Noted

  8. #8
    Senior Member Typology's Avatar
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    I love INTJ humor. I love the way it goes over everybodies head but mine, save a few people.

    The most recent one I can think of: The riddle was, How many animals of each gender did Moses take aboard the ark? The INTJ answer: Neither because Moses didn't exist!
    Only after disaster can we be resurrected.

  9. #9
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    Noted
    Just follow me around the board, and you'll be all set... unless you are at a People with Disabilities fundraiser, or Orphanage X-mas party, etc.

  10. #10
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Steal other people's jokes, then.

    That's what an INTP friend of mine does.
    Yes!! They always steal my jokes
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

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