I'm an INTP, my boyfriend of 3 months - who I am as unconditionally in love with as a 16-year-old girl can be - is definitely an ISFJ. He is 3 years older (but that's hardly integral to the purpose of this thread.) My ex-boyfriend of nearly a year was an ENTP...it's a big contrast.
As a person and as a boyfriend, he's amazing, but there are those little things that frustrate me. He insists on buying me a $130 iPod for Christmas, he insists that I'm too good for him, and he is often appallingly chivalrous and self-sacrificing. I'm no old-fashioned girl! haha. I'm also actually astonished that he's opened up to me as much as he has, as he tried so hard to seem buttoned-up. He insisted that he was a solid bastion of self-control and wasn't particularly interested in sex...fixed his wagon there. He's insecure about how he looks/smells/etc etc...dealing well with that too; one-on-one he loosens up to an impressive extent. There are other mundane little things (and my tendency to spout off intellectual nonsense annoys him a tad...hehe), but apart from that, we're a good, supplementary match. I had this feeling for years, without even having officially met him, that we would get along. Intuition served me well.
I digress...anyways, what I'm getting at...his martyr-esque tendencies are a slight roadblock for me. I know I can't fix that, but what should I do to best accommodate that, while staying true to myself? Does he want me to acquiesce and let him sacrifice himself to do what he's "supposed" to do for me, or what? I've been struggling with that; my technique so far has been to put up a bit of a token fight in the name of female empowerment, before letting him have his way. It's evident to me that I cannot at any costs let him think I am taking him for granted, but how do I deal with his need to fulfill his perceived duty?