[ENTP] Do you know jealousy?

[Samurai Drifter]

I'm never envious of someone, though I do tend to get annoyed if someone beats me in everything. I just like to win.

I occasionally held grudges when I was a kid, but grew out of it quickly.

 

[LadyJaye]

I don't get jealous unless I'm off balance. And then I hate the fact that I feel jealousy. It's uncomfortable, and not the way I normally operate. So I try to remedy the situation as quickly as possible.

 

[Anja]

When I encounter people who say they don't feel certain things I find they manifest a certain impatience with the emotions of other because they haven't or don't know what it is to feel a certain thing.

And then they get all emotional on you all the while insisting that they aren't feeling impatient! Hah.




Some of think they are telling the truth for one of several reasons:

They are emotionally retarded and don't know a feeling when it hits them.

Edit: That sentence sounds cruel. I reword it - They are developmentally delayed in learning about their emotions. There! Politically correct. Heh.

They have some kind of brain damage.

They suffer from a psychological/emotional illness, unawares.

The rest of them are so emotionally damaged by some disabling experience that they lie to save themselves further emotional pain.

 

[Anja]

I don't get jealous unless I'm off balance. And then I hate the fact that I feel jealousy. It's uncomfortable, and not the way I normally operate. So I try to remedy the situation as quickly as possible.

Sincere question, Lady Jaye. I'm new to dealing with this green-eyed monster. How do you deal with it when it hits you?

 

[Tallulah]

I can be envious of a quality someone has, or an opportunity they've been given that I haven't. I am able to recognize it as pointless and fruitless, but it doesn't mean I don't feel a pang of it.

Generally, though, I would turn it into beating myself up for not doing as well as the other person, rather than focusing anger/resentment onto them.

When I was younger, I used to compare myself to others more than I do now. Also, now I'm able to factor in the fact that the person in question was usually willing to put in more time and effort into getting whatever it is they have than I'm willing to.

 

[Anja]

the only time envy, jealousy, or whatever has been an issue for me is during romantic pursuits. i guess it's because of that infamous INTJ Fi. if you try to take away something from me that's part of my inner vision, you're going to hit me in my one weak spot. given that you succeed, the only thing that's left for me to do is to reconstruct my inner vision, which is equivalent to admitting error and/or defeat.

but then again, that's rarely an issue. i only remember feeling clearly jealous or envious maybe once or twice in life.

Pascuzzi, this was a refreshing post. When people here can recognnize and discuss the pieces of their personalities which need work, we're functioning in a fine way, indeed. :hi:

 

[disregard]

Pascuzzi, this was a refreshing post. When people here can recognnize and discuss the pieces of their personalities which need work, we're functioning in a fine way, indeed. :hi:

And where did he say the rare surfacing of jealousy within him needs work..?

 

[Anja]

My bad, dis. I made one a them assumptions. Based on the fact that the first step to growth is recognizing and admitting our crunchy spots.

Edit: Since you're feeling nitpicky this morning I'll poke you back. Where did I say that he said? Heh.

 

[disregard]

But it's not very cool to talk down to people like that.

 

[runvardh]

I think so. Probably one of my bitchier exes...



Na, I'm more greedy than jealous. If I have to be jealous then she's not the girl for me.

 

[Anja]

If you're in need of an argument this morning there are several members I could refer you to. . .

You're barkin' up the wrong tree here.

 

[Eldanen]

yep

Finally, someone else who didn't have a, "Why, I'd never!" reaction to this thread .

Freaking Goody twoshoes.

 

[disregard]

I would think it's healthier to admit to jealousy and be comfortable with experiencing that emotion on occasion than to suppress the acknowledgment of our jealousy and to force a self-assured smile like everyone else and say "I'm not ever a jealous person in my romantic relationships, because I'm above that."

Take that Dr. Phil shit elsewhere.

 

[Anja]

Finally, someone else who didn't have a, "Why, I'd never!" reaction to this thread .

Freaking Goody twoshoes.

This point is well taken, Eldanen.

We, as a society, have developed this dichotomy of emotions. Some we call "good" and acceptable to admit to others. Others we lable "bad" and think that we shouldn't admit to them or that it's rude to acknowledge them in others.

No so. Feelings are facts and the degree that we are able to recognize them and discuss them with others is the degree that we will be able to manage the more painful or difficult ones.

 

[Lady_X]

hey man! don't project! you can't pretend to know rather or not someone feels it just because you do!

it has nothing to do with being above it either...it's just how your mind works.
i'm also not pissed off like most when stuck in traffic...people just have different buttons, you know?

 

[runvardh]

*shrug* I guess I haven't been in deep enough to deal with it yet or when I did get deep enough there wasn't much to stir it up.

 

[EcK]

guys, I created this thread because i didnt want to study and needed an excuse. Just so you know.

hey man! don't project! you can't pretend to know rather or not someone feels it just because you do!

it has nothing to do with being above it either...it's just how your mind works.
i'm also not pissed off like most when stuck in traffic...people just have different buttons, you know?

You young lady, are wise. (yeah i'm in my polite phase, don't worry, it'll pass)

 

[Moiety]

I share the OPs disconnection when it comes to jealousy/envy. It's pretty extreme. I do sometimes think of things others have that I would like to have, but I don't hate others for having them or wished they hadn't (had? help me here, english no me's one language) them.

 

[Lady_X]

^^ oh just to clarify...i'm not mad. i was throwin a bit of attitude because disregard kinda said the people who said they didn't were full of it...and i gotta defend peoples rights to feel however they feel...it's just an incredibly annoying habit i have...i don't personally care one way or another.

 

[EcK]

I share the OPs disconnection when it comes to jealousy/envy. It's pretty extreme. I do sometimes think of things others have that I would like to have, but I don't hate others for having them or wished they hadn't (had? help me here, english no me's one language) them.

yeah it's alright we understand, one can see something he wants neutraly without puting any emotion into it.
I kind of do that, things are just elements I connect with concepts and so on, but why obsess about it. It serves no purpose what so ever.

But I do get not everybody thinks like me, so I'm not saying it's wrong.
For example I am utterly unable to keep an ordered room\desk, to study for that exam, that's now in 5hours (maths).
But it's all part of who I am, and i'm sure a more orderly mind couldn't come up with new ideas and so on all the time , "in the purest entp fashion."