[INTJ] INTJs & Affection

[soleil]

How do you absolutely know he is an INTJ?

Made him take a test a couple of years ago. Plus it's very obvious.

 

[SillySapienne]

Maybe I'm being childish about it. I don't know about INTJ's & jealousy, but I see he tries to get me jealous or get some type of reaction out of me often. I don't react at all. It's stupid to me & I don't want to participate in it.

He does live a distance away from me. Maybe things would be different if he lived closer by. I don't pursue him or suggest anything so, technically he's doing all the 'work". It's just not my style. I might be a bit old fashion in it that, I expect the guy to do the pursuing. I forgot to mention he brought up moving here for business sake. I just suggested he stay there because rent is extremely high here & it would be wise to live where he's staying. I don't think I have it in me to really hope in us, but I care for him. I always told myself that i would never beg a guy (ultamatium him) to be with me no matter how much I wanted him. Also, he's a bit less mature than me, has a big ego. When I see him, I look past all the fascade he puts out in the world.

Btw, he brought up the 10 year marriage thing joking (I'm assuming). Who knows if he meant it. I swear this guy seems like he's always trying to test me. He wants to act all big & bad around me (acting like he's a playboy) or on the phone when I just wished he would just act normal. Even out when I met his friends, he was always trying to look so smooth when deep inside all I saw was a cute dork. I'm really leaning toward him being a narcisisst now. He talks about himself a lot (usually about how everyone loves him, etc). In my honest opinion, he is fighting his real/honest self against his fake self. Everytime I try to get him out of my mind, he comes calling me. I even erased his number so, I wouldn't feel tempted to call him. He seems pretty delusional. I swear I am the only person that is "normal" in his life. He'll call & vent sometimes about all the bs. He's more into the superficial than I ever was. He tries too hard. Maybe it's me being an ENFP or just something more...I see a smart, interesting person trying to fit into the rest of society. It's pretty much a turn off. I hope he grows up because I might not be here waiting for him. Best believe I ain't waiting 10 years, LOL. Fuck outta here.

Wouldn't that seem like I'm trying to be clingy asking him to tell me if there is a future?

It's hard for me because I have a lot of pride & don't want to come across too eager. I don't know anything.

GIRL, YOU DO KNOW SOMETHING, IN FACT, YOU KNOW A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT!!!

PLEASE, REREAD THIS POST, WHENEVER YOU ARE FEELING -NESS ABOUT HIM!!!

:steam:

Reading your post, is like reading something I would have easily written myself.

Perhaps this is an ENFP thing, but we tend to give out a whole lot of benefit of the doubt to those who are the least deserving.

From what I have gathered from your presence on this board, you are all kinds of awesome, so this guy is smart, BIG FUCKING DEAL, (I suffer from the same intoxication, too, you know), but you need to keep in mind that he is a smart, IMMATURE, SELF-CENTERED, INSECURE, well, prick, who DOESN'T TREAT YOU RIGHT!!!!

Grrrrrrr!!!!

I will not sway on my opinion that I think you should drop this guy like he's hot unless you can procure a sizable list of reasons why this guy is worth your spending time with him.

Sorry, soliel, I think you deserve better.

 

[soleil]

GIRL, YOU DO KNOW SOMETHING, IN FACT, YOU KNOW A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT!!!

PLEASE, REREAD THIS POST, WHENEVER YOU ARE FEELING -NESS ABOUT HIM!!!

:steam:

Reading your post, is like reading something I would have easily written myself.

Perhaps this is an ENFP thing, but we tend to give out a whole lot of benefit of the doubt to those who are the least deserving.

From what I have gathered from your presence on this board, you are all kinds of awesome, so this guy is smart, BIG FUCKING DEAL, (I suffer from the same intoxication, too, you know), but you need to keep in mind that he is a smart, IMMATURE, SELF-CENTERED, INSECURE, well, prick, who DOESN'T TREAT YOU RIGHT!!!!

Grrrrrrr!!!!

I will not sway on my opinion that I think you should drop this guy like he's hot unless you can procure a sizable list of reasons why this guy is worth your spending time with him.

Sorry, soliel, I think you deserve better.

Thanks girlie! I really appreciate your words of wisdom.

 

[chris1207]

My INTJ friend shows affection by not hanging out with any of his friends. Third night in a row...

 

[EcK]

My INTJ friend shows affection by not hanging out with any of his friends. Third night in a row...

Yeah I tend to do that too. I'm that guy who always has 'something else going on'. I just can't force myself to do stuffs if I dont start them.
Yet When I start them I'm often too lazy to finish them.

I know, I cant begin to describe how many things are wicked and wrong about this.

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

Gee, I am such a slow-ass. Well, normally not, but in this thread I am. Doh.
I must say, I really liked that one here

Some of you INTJs just make me want to hold you close and whisper in your ear, "I'll protect you..."

I was looking for a guy like that for years and decades now. A guy who could give me exactly that. It's not that we need it, but we like it anyways. We like if for once we can be the "weaker" one. Odd huh? Yeah I know.

My INTJ friend shows affection by not hanging out with any of his friends. Third night in a row...

*lol* Sounds somehow familiar. Personally I like to "hang out" online better than - well - out there. When you actually hang out with a person you can do that only, instead if you do it in an online way you can do other things at the same time.

 

[Edgar]

INTJs usually show affection by offering a quick and painless death, or by giving a 10% discount on a ransom.

 

[Amargith]

Mmm I feel a case of Stockholm-syndrom coming on

 

[Edgar]

Mmm I feel a case of Stockholm-syndrom coming on

Want to come and rob a bank with me?

 

[Amargith]

Want to come and rob a bank with me?

Sure, as long as I don't get the quick-death deal, but the ransom-deal

 

[Fuent]

I like my affection with oregano and Parmesan. A hint of rosemary wouldn't hurt either.

 

[Fuent]

Did you guys know that oregano actually kills bacteria?

 

[pockets]

mm.
with reference to the extremely helpful posts about INTJs and how quaintly they express affection (fixing and cleaning of computers and other "useful" things), how should the recipient respond?
presuming one has the intent of avoiding any embarrassment, distress or misunderstanding on the part of the INTJ, as far as possible
and assuming of course, that the affection is reciprocated.

 

[Tiny Army]

Hendo has always amazed me by being the only one in the house who remembers my complaints about cleaning and does chores instead of leaving me to do them. I had realised a while ago that this was his way of telling me I was his friend. I use my NF cheerleader powers and just try to thank him profusely for all his help and encourage his vision whenever I get the chance. I think it is important to them to know their ideas are good because it seems to work!

 

[pockets]

thanks. well, i have NF cheerleadersuperpowers too. they shall not go to waste.
appreciation, then. but profuse appreciation? i'm not sure that'd be so cool with all INTJs ( i speculate).

 

[Siegfried]

Hendo has always amazed me by being the only one in the house who remembers my complaints about cleaning and does chores instead of leaving me to do them. I had realised a while ago that this was his way of telling me I was his friend. I use my NF cheerleader powers and just try to thank him profusely for all his help and encourage his vision whenever I get the chance. I think it is important to them to know their ideas are good because it seems to work!

ENFP/INTJs make a great couple from what I've read here, you both understand each other well.

 

[Tiny Army]

thanks. well, i have NF cheerleadersuperpowers too. they shall not go to waste.
appreciation, then. but profuse appreciation? i'm not sure that'd be so cool with all INTJs ( i speculate).

Well you are an INFP so profuse appreciation might be a little bit too much for you as well! And who knows, possibly both my INTJs are just a little more extraverted than others. I am certain that as an INFP, your Ne being your auxiliary function must make it much easier to communicate with an INTJ. I find that while I can usually figure out what a person is thinking, my extraversion can often get in the way of my interactions with my INTJ friends and family.

 

[Ardea]

mm.
with reference to the extremely helpful posts about INTJs and how quaintly they express affection (fixing and cleaning of computers and other "useful" things), how should the recipient respond?
presuming one has the intent of avoiding any embarrassment, distress or misunderstanding on the part of the INTJ, as far as possible
and assuming of course, that the affection is reciprocated.

If said INTJ is a pig, one could clean up a small section of their messy apartment that won't touch any of their work - like the kitchen :shudder:.

They do appreciate it.

 

[pockets]

I am certain that as an INFP, your Ne being your auxiliary function must make it much easier to communicate with an INTJ. I find that while I can usually figure out what a person is thinking, my extraversion can often get in the way of my interactions with my INTJ friends and family.

Do you mean Ne is an obstacle of sorts? i mean, both INFP and ENFP have got Ne, it's my secondary but your primary..so you mean it's easier for ENFPs to get distracted in a way that isn't helpful?

You're right. And it isn't so easy to be effusively appreciative for me. I mean, I'm chuffed at the determined though awkward way this INTJ tries to do things for me occasionally, though I'm not really sure if this is really helpful. I mean, I'm pretty independent.
So my appreciation isn't really "YOU SAVED ME FIVE MINUTES I'M ETERNALLY GRATEFUL because five minutes is so precious", but "YOU DID SOMETHING FOR ME?"

 

[Kalach]

Projects.

INTJs do projects.

I do, anyway. I believe in there being a process.

Well, technically, ENTJs do projects; INTJs ask you if you're always going to live in the same state. And they factor your answer into what they think next.


Anyway...

Buddy o mine, ENFP, is currently smitten with an INTJ who lives a long train ride away, and he's forever not telling that INTJ everything he should, or he's half telling her things. From my point of view, I know that girl isn't getting enough information to do what she does best and work out what the hell is going on. Also from my point of view, my buddy has a right to keep some stuff to himself because, well, it's his damn heart he's hanging out on the line so why can't he be a bit protective, yeah?

It's an entertaining and ultimately pointless cinema of smoke and mirrors but for the one true clear real fact that from time to time he gets on a train and goes to see her.

And pretty much that, and only that, is what washes away all the muddy, murky what if's and she thinks what's and should I's.


Incidentally, he did one time, this ENFP, he did one time say that he was drawn to this INTJ as to no other girl, and he didn't say it would take no 10 years. He said 6.