User Tag List

First 67891018 Last

Results 71 to 80 of 230

  1. #71
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    8,559

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    awww

    We need just that. Though it may take us some time to figure that out/let it happen.
    That's what it sounds like; but as I said above, I need to find a girl who wants it from me first.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #72
    Senior Member sonata's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    iNtJ
    Posts
    291

    Default

    That's what it sounds like; but as I said above, I need to find a girl who wants it from me first.
    We may also try very hard for a while to convince you/everyone/ourselves that we don't want/need it, when we know we do.

    Yes, I know we can be fairly impossible.

  3. #73
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sonata View Post
    We may also try very hard for a while to convince you/everyone/ourselves that we don't want/need it, when we know we do.

    Yes, I know we can be fairly impossible.
    HAHAHHAAHHAA!!!

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  4. #74
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Posts
    3,917

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sonata View Post
    Yes, I know we can be fairly impossible.
    This is an understatement.

    I'm surprised people willingly get into relationships with us.

  5. #75
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Enneagram
    9w8 so/sx
    Posts
    11,544

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    I'm surprised people willingly get into relationships with us.
    Mind control, obviously.

  6. #76
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Posts
    3,917

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Mind control, obviously.
    lol And chemicals... slipped in at every meal.

  7. #77
    Senior Member TPol's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5sp
    Socionics
    INTp
    Posts
    111

    Default

    Edit: Once again, I'm off writing a tome while half a dozen posts leap in there in the meantime. ((laughs over the previous comments about mind control and chemicals)) I'd wondered what it was in those "vitamins" he was giving me. Aha!
    ================================================== =======================

    THE TOME:

    Quote Originally Posted by nonsequitur View Post
    Sorry, mental games are the primary way that INTJs deal with the world. Sometimes it's possible to break through that just with sincerity and random silliness, though. That's a tip. If an INTJ is willing to go faux-intellectual about something completely silly with you, it's a sign that they like and trust you. The intellectual games are a means of protection, or rationalising the world. If we let you in beyond that, it means that you're "in".
    ((nods)) Exactly like hubby. ((hug on your last comment, too, nonsequitur))

    Quote Originally Posted by soleil View Post
    I've brought it up to a couple of people & they claim he's playing with my head & doesn't care about me at all.
    And your instinct said? Unfortunately, it seems like INTJs are one of the least understood personalities in society. I could make a lengthy list full of accusations and misunderstandings hubby's gotten from others. I've found that, to be supportive, those close to INTJs need to see them more clearly than general society does and keep those facts in mind when society tries to contradict those facts. If you get with this INTJ, you may be the only one in his world who supports him. You'll need to strive to understand him like no other may bother to do.

    I don't think these people can really understand the complexitity of an NTJ or any NT for that matter.
    There aren't very many INTJs in the world, so people don't have much access to them in order to get to understand them. Plus, it seems like the personality style makes the INTJ (and perhaps a lot of INTPs) not very inclined to help the general populace to get to know them very well.

    Your relationship with hubby sounds wonderful! It's a lot of work, but you sound so happy . For a long time, I struggled with the idea of a future with him. Being an ENFP, I feel so much & it was difficult at first to take it all in. He seemed so detached from anything emotional & I questioned myself thinking maybe it was just me. The thing is I am very guarded with myself too. I been through a lot of unnecessary drama/trauma in the past & I become so weary of people & their intentions.
    Keep in mind that I'm an INTP with an INTJ; plus, I really think that not all INTJs are alike. I feel I need to tell you about an ENFP that hubby had his eye on before he and I got serious. Beautiful, smart, talented, playful. Wonderful girl. He liked her a lot. She's one of the ones he talked about with me when he and I were just friends. Like you, she had gone through a lot of drama/trauma and was using him as a shoulder to lean on, and his blunt honesty was quite refreshing for her....really drew her in.

    They were mutually struck with each other. I could see it. As his friend, and he asked, I advised him as well as I could when he was trying to interpret her. Likewise, as we got to know each other, I became her confidante, too. She got upset with him quite a bit, and I ended up explaining his actions to her repeatedly so as to smooth things over between them. I became a go-between for them, quite often.

    For reasons unrelated to personality type or my presence, it didn't work out between them. But, we still know her and keep in contact with her because we care about her. We knew her between her first two marriages. In her second marriage, she ended up marrying an INTJ much like hubby and living several hours away from us, rather than in the same community. Their marriage lasted about a year and a half. The problem? He was too project-oriented and "distant" for her tastes. She wanted him to play and relax more often with her than he felt he could and still keep his business operating. He involved her with it as a partner, but he just wasn't emotionally accessible enough for her. She felt isolated and lonely. And, putting myself in his shoes, I'm sure her need for more than he could provide was frustrating for him. I know that, had hubby married her, this aspect between them would have made them both miserable, especially without a go-between to help them understand each other (and I wouldn't have stuck around for that). Eventually, the conflicts in her marriage escalated to the point that they parted.

    Before you lose hope, personality types aren't a gospel. Interactions depend a lot on the people, no matter their particular MBTI types. And, she does have bipolar disorder. Ironically, that makes her even more fascinating to an INT, but also harder with which to deal because of the extremes.

    I wanted to tell you about her because it is advisable that you look at this relationship from a logical distance, just as your INTJ is likely doing. Consider what you really want in a relationship; any relationship -- not just one with him. Make darn sure you aren't romanticizing and giving yourself higher expectations for "happily ever after" than what reality can provide. The very fact you came here to us to ask about INTJs makes me think you're doing just that, though, so that's good.

    If you choose to go forward with a long-term relationship with him, I cannot emphasize enough that you have non-divisive/understanding/trustworthy friends outside the relationship to whom you can unburden your more extreme feelings....or write it out...or go for a walk...or pray...or whatever you've got to do to bring your emotions down off of a "the world is going to fall apart" level (grin). Then, when you're calmer and can view the problem with less emotion, you can approach your INTJ without overwhelming him with an avalanche of feelings. Otherwise, by the time he sorts through all your emotions to get to the "heart of the problem" in order to "fix it," he'll be exhausted (and perhaps wanting to get away from you so he can think in a place outside the dense fog of feelings) and you'll be pulling your hair out and feeling abandoned and/or like a nutcase. (chuckle)

    Second emphasis: Maintain a sense of humor. Mandatory tool.
    "The great secret of successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters." -- Harold Nicolson

    To be honest, I never met any intellectuals or people who really interested me so, when I met him I was drawn in. We think very similarly except he's not emotional, lol.
    This is one of the reasons why I was drawn in toward hubby. Though, I'm not emotional either. This is why it concerns me when I think about someone more emotional hooking up with an INTJ who is like my INTJ. I call myself "TPol" because I'm one of the least emotional women I've ever known. Even then, though, I have moments of feeling lonely and isolated because the logic is at such a high level around here that warmth is sometimes lacking. It can get to be too much, even for someone like me.

    A sense of humor tends to create a good bridge over that for us, though. When we've enjoyed a silly moment together, the warmth flows like crazy. Thankfully, most of the times when I need him to be silly to get me out of a funk, he's feeling silly...and vice versa. When we're both in a funk and not feeling like being the humorous one, that's when the hard work comes. The hard work entails really looking into each other and trying to understand their perspectives...really being there for the other. If you're both concentrating on being there for the other....understanding how the other is feeling and trying to fill their needs, the bond becomes stronger. Through the rough times, you stay holding on and you lean on the commitment you've made. Then, sure enough, you have another silly moment together that brings you even closer. Another warm moment you can remember that will keep you afloat during the next moment of rough seas.

    I sound like such a dork, but he challenges my mind the way I always wanted.
    You don't sound like a dork. Hubby does that for me, too. Another reason why I was drawn to him. I'd finally found someone I could relate to intellectually and not have to refrain from exercising my brain around for fear of awakening the guy's insecurities.

    I want harmony, no drama! Since I've known him, I evolved so much as a person. I became more intolerant of all the bs & pretty much stepped my T game up . When I can make him laugh or enlighten him in some way, it's literally the best feeling.
    Good. That's how hubby influenced me, too. Careful, though, that you don't lose yourself in changes in order to be what you think he wants. I am saying this more than once because it is easier to fall into "changing to please," even for a wildly independent person, around an INTJ like my hubby than one might think. You'll have to keep an eye on yourself and make sure you don't lose contact with the true you. Remember things as they are now. "Your" INTJ likes you for what he's already seen or he wouldn't be calling and making efforts to stay in touch. I doubt he wants someone he can program to be JUST what he wants. My INTJ has always liked spunk and independence. He definitely got that when he got himself captured by me!

    Quote Originally Posted by soleil
    He asked me if I plan to live in the state I live in now long-term & if I would consider relocating somewhere else.
    With my INTJ there's never a question without a reason behind it. Sounds to me like he's been thinking about how to bring you and he closer together, location-wise. Perhaps I'm wrong, but that's what that question would make me think of.

    To be honest, I pretty much accepted the idea that I might be alone. If I can't have the relationship I really want then, I will be single. I am highly idealistic & have an idea of what I want already in my head. I don't want perfection or any of that nonsense, but someone I will always be stimulated by, who will evolve with me, but at the same time not try to change me. I would never try to make him into something he's not.
    Yup, yup. Exactly me when hubby and I came across each other. No wonder this INTJ likes you. For this, too:
    I need my own space, I appreciate & need solitude. I don't want to be a siamese twin. I have my own identity & it's very important for me to be me.
    Quote Originally Posted by soleil
    He said "The eyes are the windows to the soul, I see you are trying to look away...you must be scared that I can see right through you". I received an email from him saying how he's so glad to of met me. I wasn't trying to hide anything, I'm just extremely shy & don't know what to do when people make direct eye contact.
    VERY similar to a couple incidents between hubby and I. He likes you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    Mwell, we're more at ease, more confident, more our normal selves with other people. With a person we're interested in...we make awkward attempts at being around them while overanalysing our ususal behaviour into a tiny heap of unspontaneous and self-conscious OMGNOWTFMUSTIDOness.
    At least I do.
    Tee hee. (( s INTJs )) ^ Hubby was that way at first, too. He was just so darn adorable. Still is. Dang....now look what you've done....I gotta go give him a squeeze again!

  8. #78
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    8,559

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sonata View Post
    We may also try very hard for a while to convince you/everyone/ourselves that we don't want/need it, when we know we do.

    Yes, I know we can be fairly impossible.
    Just improbable. I accept the low likelihood, but that also makes it worth that much more should it happen.

    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    This is an understatement.

    I'm surprised people willingly get into relationships with us.
    Some of us feel the same way about ourselves.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #79
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    253

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by soleil View Post
    You didn't think she was intellectually compatiable with you? Why do you say that? I'm curious. So, do you feel you are drawn to ENFP's through their energy & physical attributes only? She wasn't full of personality? Blasphemy! Help me understand, brother . I feel the same way about calling. I am so conscious about who called who last. I called him too, but when he calls 7-8/10 I pick up. Not always the case with him so, I just wait on him. I guess I am a bit prideful, lol. . I can play the game too. It's not such a bad thing though, right?!
    Well, her thoughts were often a shadow and echo of her feelings which change periodically. Because I liked her, I would try and say nice things to make her feel good about herself, but I never once had an intellectual conversation with her since I've known her and I've always found difficulty expressing myself to her. Incidentally, I didn't want to get carried away and wanted to protect myself from going off into silioquys or offending her. In any event, I sensed that she could care less about intellectual pursuits and discussions so I steered away from it. She wasn't interested in critical thinking at all. And it would have required a lot of effort for me to push through with intense discussions anyway while knowing that all she wanted to talk about is her favorite sports or her friend's wedding. So I backed off, and as a consequence was unable to find common ground with this particular ENFP. As a result, we could rarely hold a conversation with eachother. She was rather flaky insofar as she'd always preoccupy herself with the next best thing. She's the type of person who would talk to someone only because she's bored and if someone hotter or more interesting came into the environment that would be her new target.

  10. #80
    Senior Member sonata's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    iNtJ
    Posts
    291

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    Mwell, we're more at ease, more confident, more our normal selves with other people. With a person we're interested in...we make awkward attempts at being around them while overanalysing our ususal behaviour into a tiny heap of unspontaneous and self-conscious OMGNOWTFMUSTIDOness.

    At least I do.
    Yes. That.

    I don't know how much of what I'm about to say is characteristically INTJ, and how much of it is just Sonata-being-silly. Definitely some of both.

    INTJs like to be competent, and in control at least of their 'inner worlds'. When I start to feel something for a guy, it seems like an impending complete loss of control. I know it's been said many times that we INTJs have a soft spot under all the, well, INTJness. To be straightfoward about my feelings is to take all that other stuff away so that I'm vulnerable to whatever the other person is thinking and feeling. It's difficult. I also tend not to instinctively trust that other people's expressed feelings are genuine. So instead of letting the feelings for the other person 'win', I'll overanalyze everything and then logic myself into thinking that they don't actually like me (after all, I'm an awkward mess around them, and everything I say comes out wrong, so why would they?) This works until they do something really sweet and I go again and the 'hot-and-cold' cycle referenced by the OP continues.

    I'm mostly thinking about a specific situation here. Once the guy moved away, I got over it, and my head was no longer going all ASDJFK;L! on a regular basis, I was able to look back at this from a good perspective and realize that I had made his life difficult (not my intention) and I could have done a lot better.

    My thoughts didn't go into words quite as well as I would have liked. But there you go, my two cents on the topic.

Similar Threads

  1. [NT] INTJ's with affection? (Or NT's in general)
    By Obsidius in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 03-28-2016, 01:08 AM
  2. [INTJ] Ask an INTJ
    By logan235711 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 870
    Last Post: 05-22-2015, 05:04 AM
  3. [INTJ] INTJs and tacit affection
    By Opal in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 04-11-2014, 08:28 PM
  4. [INTJ] INTJ's Introverted Feeling - Child (Puer/Puella)
    By Zhash in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 01-04-2010, 09:06 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO