User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 91

  1. #1
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,656

    Default Harmless banter vs seriously speaking your mind

    So how is one to tell them apart with NT's? I mean, when you know someone already, then it usually isn't that hard to tell, but when you've just met them and they make a potentially hurtful comment, it can be hard. What are the telltale signs that we shouldn't take it serious, and when do you actually mean it? Or, do you use those remarks to test the waters yourself? Help us poor confused NF's understand... *goes hide*
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #2
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    8,664

    Default

    From NTJ perspective there is no rules since there will probably be some strategy behind it. It all depend on the goals.

    As for NTPs in most case it is just a harmless joke as far as I know.



    Actually in some cases it can be both.


    My advice is: don't take things too personaly no matter what.

  3. #3
    Senior Member norepinephrine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    402

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    So how is one to tell them apart with NT's? I mean, when you know someone already, then it usually isn't that hard to tell, but when you've just met them and they make a potentially hurtful comment, it can be hard. What are the telltale signs that we shouldn't take it serious, and when do you actually mean it? Or, do you use those remarks to test the waters yourself? Help us poor confused NF's understand... *goes hide*
    If I've just met a person, it's highly unlikely I would make a hurtful remark that was meant to be serious. It's much more likely to be an offhand humorous comment that unfortunately hit too close to home for the listener.

    While I, unless said listener chooses to brain me with an iron skillet, remain blissfully oblivious.

    Trust me, I'm not usually picking up enough on the nuances of a conversation to do it on purpose.

  4. #4
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,656

    Default

    What about if you've been talking to this person for a while now, still first conversation and s/he has a certain attitude, twitch, whatever, that bugs you. You see, what I'm looking for is how do you guys 'hint' that you don't like the person and therefore would like to leave the conversation and not meet them again, and how is it different from the banter you use to bond?
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #5
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    7,917

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    What about if you've been talking to this person for a while now, still first conversation and s/he has a certain attitude, twitch, whatever, that bugs you. You see, what I'm looking for is how do you guys 'hint' that you don't like the person and therefore would like to leave the conversation and not meet them again, and how is it different from the banter you use to bond?
    I usually just don't give them back the energy they are giving me. Or I'll try to focus my attention on someone or something else. But sometimes if someone is annoying me, and I'm stuck with them in whatever situation it is, I'll playfully mess with them, but I do that with people I like as well. If I don't like them, it will probably be harsher and more negative.

    So, it's usually harmless, I guess.

  6. #6
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    8,664

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    What about if you've been talking to this person for a while now, still first conversation and s/he has a certain attitude, twitch, whatever, that bugs you. You see, what I'm looking for is how do you guys 'hint' that you don't like the person and therefore would like to leave the conversation and not meet them again, and how is it different from the banter you use to bond?


    There is no real way of telling that, since NTs especially introverted ones are not interested in subtlety of communication and things like bodylanguage in most cases.

    When I talk to someone I think about strenght of their argument and a way how to destroy their agrument if it looks wrong from my perspective.

  7. #7
    Senior Member norepinephrine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    402

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    What about if you've been talking to this person for a while now, still first conversation and s/he has a certain attitude, twitch, whatever, that bugs you. You see, what I'm looking for is how do you guys 'hint' that you don't like the person and therefore would like to leave the conversation and not meet them again, and how is it different from the banter you use to bond?
    Backing away slowly while waving at invisible people on the other side of the room?

    Seriously, I would disconnect - in body language by turning slightly away from head on, in conversation by giving shorter, curter replies. My eyes would be scanning the room looking for something more interesting. But I still don't see myself making an unkind comment.

    I only mess with people I like. It's an investment of energy I'm unlikely to waste on someone I don't plan to interact with again.

  8. #8
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    that's one of the things i like so much about intp's because i pretty much always feel like they are half joking or being silly like me...or it's just a silly observation not laced with an emotional undercurrent you know.

    and they're adept in the art of being feisty w/o being hurtful...some people try but they just come off like an ass...you know?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #9
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    6,050

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    So how is one to tell them apart with NT's? I mean, when you know someone already, then it usually isn't that hard to tell, but when you've just met them and they make a potentially hurtful comment, it can be hard. What are the telltale signs that we shouldn't take it serious, and when do you actually mean it? Or, do you use those remarks to test the waters yourself? Help us poor confused NF's understand... *goes hide*
    Assume it's banter, especially from an NTP.

    In person, I use nonverbals to make my intent clear. Online, I use smilies, but those aren't as clear. With online friends, not being able to see their nonverbals is frustrating, like trying to write without using any vowels.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    What about if you've been talking to this person for a while now, still first conversation and s/he has a certain attitude, twitch, whatever, that bugs you. You see, what I'm looking for is how do you guys 'hint' that you don't like the person and therefore would like to leave the conversation and not meet them again, and how is it different from the banter you use to bond?
    If I'm still bantering, engaging in dialogue, or engaging in a friendly debate with someone, I probably still like them.

    Sometimes an NT's edge (attitude) is the shell covering a vulnerability or desire to avoid being vulnerable. It often becomes more apparent just before it is removed.

    With NT's, I don't think you could go wrong by going straight to the point and asking why they have adopted a certain pattern of interaction.

  10. #10
    ThatGirl
    Guest

    Default

    I actually don't realize something may be considered hurtful until someone let's me know they have been hurt. At which point if they just start yelling at me they are going to be in for a rude awakening but if they give me the benifit of the doubt and ask me to clarify, I will explain what I meant and make a mental note.

Similar Threads

  1. What problems occupy your mind?
    By ptgatsby in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 42
    Last Post: 02-23-2011, 04:18 PM
  2. What blows your mind?
    By disregard in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: 12-17-2008, 09:42 PM
  3. [ENTP] ENTPs, what's on your mind?
    By Terian in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 64
    Last Post: 09-19-2008, 01:48 AM
  4. What boggles your mind?
    By prplchknz in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 08-13-2008, 05:55 PM
  5. What stimulates your mind...
    By The_Liquid_Laser in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-24-2008, 02:30 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO