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[INTP] INTP and affection

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Slightly askew, but how do others react to physical comforting? I've always hated it when people come near me if I'm injured in some way. It's confusing as I'm inclined to looking after everyone. A sort of give but cannot receive type thing, a detached/Fi nightmare.

It depends on the situation. A horse trampled me once and broke my collarbone. I had to walk a couple of miles back to the yard with what felt like my arm hanging off. I must have looked pretty green and dodgy - I was close to fainting. Someone gave me a huge hug. I thought the bone was going to burst through my skin and poke them in the eye. That shit HURTED!
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
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Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
MBTI Type
type
It depends on the situation. A horse trampled me once and broke my collarbone. I had to walk a couple of miles back to the yard with what felt like my arm hanging off. I must have looked pretty green and dodgy - I was close to fainting. Someone gave me a huge hug. I thought the bone was going to burst through my skin and poke them in the eye. That shit HURTED!
I want to know what you previously did to both the horse and the person who hugged you.
 

colmena

señor member
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
1,549
MBTI Type
INXP
*takes notes*

Only at the risk of unintentional blindness.
 

Martoon

perdu fleur par bologne
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
1,361
MBTI Type
INTP
Plank cat say NOOOO!

funny-pictures-one-cat-wants-a-hug-but-the-other-says-no.jpg

LOL! Plank Cat is teh awesome!

We need to induct Plank Cat as part of the standard lolcat pantheon. Start the virus.
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
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type
Plank Cat is a pretty cool guy. He lieks the blue pillow and doesn't afraid of anything.
 

Martoon

perdu fleur par bologne
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
1,361
MBTI Type
INTP
It depends on the situation. A horse trampled me once and broke my collarbone. I had to walk a couple of miles back to the yard with what felt like my arm hanging off. I must have looked pretty green and dodgy - I was close to fainting. Someone gave me a huge hug. I thought the bone was going to burst through my skin and poke them in the eye. That shit HURTED!
You had a broken collarbone, and someone gave you a hug? Seriously?

So much for the externalized empathy motivation theory.
 

Wild horses

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
1,916
MBTI Type
ENFP
KNow exactly what you mean colema and erina... it is weird it's like you can accept negative emotion from everyone else but not yourself maybe it's because we feel we must be the eternal optimists and because we are problem solvers?
 

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
595
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
KLessard, this probably shouldn't matter, but what's your gender and orientation? Could have some effect on your friend's perceptions of your hug assertiveness.

Well, that is a very personal question, but i am a girl and a virgin. I often feel I am what they call "asexual." I am a fervent Christian and some people have said to me I would be a nun if I was a Catholic (I am a Baptist). I believe I'm just good for celibacy and have never seriously considered getting married, even though I got some occasions.

My friend knows how spiritual I am, but I wouldn't know how she perceives the hugging. There have been times when I felt she hugged back very warmly and honestly (for the thin plank she is). I think she is stiff when caught off-guard as one has suggested before.

I love your Santa Claus picture, Martoon.
 

Nihilen

Permabanned
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
977
MBTI Type
ISTP
Well, that is a very personal question, but i am a girl and a virgin. I often feel I am what they call "asexual." I am a fervent Christian and some people have said to me I would be a nun if I was a Catholic (I am a Baptist). I believe I'm just good for celibacy and have never seriously considered getting married.
My friend knows how spiritual I am, but I wouldn't know how she perceives the hugging. There have been times when I felt she hugged back very warmly and honestly (for the thin plank she is :newwink: ). I think she is stiff when caught off-guard as one has suggested before.

I love your Santa Claus picture, Martoon.

Now it all makes sense, you are one creepy creature.
 

01011010

New member
Joined
Jun 22, 2008
Messages
3,916
MBTI Type
INxJ
Nah, don't listen to them. As INTPs, we put on this big act of not liking people just coming up and touching us, but we really crave group hugs, all the time. Especially from friends and coworkers we're not intimately involved with. You need to just be more assertive about hugging her more often. Don't be put off by her defensive shell; she really likes it, and you'll break through to her eventually. It'll just take a lot more hugging.

Oh sarcasm :D

INTs in particular are not fond of touch. Even if they know you. The only exception is usually someone they are having intercourse with, since that's already crossing boundaries.

Don't take it personally.
 

norepinephrine

New member
Joined
Jun 10, 2008
Messages
402
MBTI Type
INTP
My advice, whether you want it or not, would be not to assume there's some deep emotional current running through her that she doesn't want to share. INTPs really are unemotional most of the time.

I personally prefer that others assume there is some deep emotion hidden deep in my sorry excuse for a psyche. It saves me the trouble of actually having hidden depths.

INTs in particular are not fond of touch. Even if they know you. The only exception is usually someone they are having intercourse with, since that's already crossing boundaries.

Plus, intercourse without touching is usually not as much fun.
 

Martoon

perdu fleur par bologne
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
1,361
MBTI Type
INTP
Touchy-feely from a SO in an established relationship is a whole other category, no complaints there. Hugs from everyone else, not so cool, there are three people in my life that I actually enjoy hugging, one has meaning, one is my crash-hug-tackling sister and one is 2 years old, they are all family. Everyone else falls into the category of 'oh well, I guess I have to' this doesn't mean I don't love or care about you it just seems fake and awkward to me if it's done for no reason.
+1

Well, except for the sister part. I have one compulsively assault-hugging sister, and this is something I dread and tolerate. But I definitely agree on the SO thing; an entirely different set of rules applies in that case, and they fit in a separate category from the rest of humanity. And it's also different coming from a little kid.
Please, for everyone’s sake STOP HUGGING US!
Lol. There's been a lot of debate on what the "official" INTP t-shirt should say. I think that's getting my vote.

Well, that is a very personal question
Okay. I wouldn't want you divulge anything you're not comfortable with. But from what you said, it's probably a safe bet your friend wouldn't misinterpret your affections. Just saying that otherwise, that could be a factor.
There have been times when I felt she hugged back very warmly and honestly (for the thin plank she is).
Lol! As a thin plank, this still just kills me.

Now it all makes sense, you are one creepy creature.
You too.
I've been praying for you.
pwn'd! (and you had that coming, Nihilen.)

Plus, intercourse without touching is usually not as much fun.
Yeah, those full-body condoms tend to chafe a bit.



And Plank Cat is my hero.
 
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