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  1. #41
    perdu fleur par bologne Martoon's Avatar
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    KLessard, this probably shouldn't matter, but what's your gender and orientation? Could have some effect on your friend's perceptions of your hug assertiveness.
    I'm not a procrastinator. I'm a long-term planner.

  2. #42
    perdu fleur par bologne Martoon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I really don't mind being hugged, if there's a reason for the hug.
    What's creepy is when a dude you don't even know hugs you because he's a dirty old man that just wants to hug you to get close to you and possibly feel you up. EW.
    Sounds to me like he has a reason.
    I'm not a procrastinator. I'm a long-term planner.

  3. #43
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Oh my, NTs are really suspicious of anything emotional, while it comes so naturally to us, NFs. I would say hugging to us is just the physical manifestation of the deep empathy we feel for people. We need to exteriorise it once in a while.

  4. #44
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    Had Mr. Flak had a large serving of Vodka before the PDA... that has been my experience.. if u wanna a mega tactile INTP get em drunk
    Oh yes! The change in demeanor between sober INTP and intoxicated INTP can give you whiplash LOL. One INTP I know, who is very hands-off and is usually cold as a stone in that regard, started trying to teach me swing dancing without warning me first and was very huggy one night recently when he was a little drunk. (We are good friends.) hehe he was so embarrassed the next day, though there was nothing weird about it at all. Come to think of it he is always very huggy with a few people when drunk.

    Also, not to be disagreeable, but I don't think it's weird at all when people don't like to be hugged. Personally I don't enjoy hugs from men I am not close to and I am very empathetic (I think that is why... overload!)

  5. #45
    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
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    Here is a thought:

    Have you ever just up and asked her about it? When I was in a relationship I was pretty upfront about my comfort zones.
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
    And a woman screamed, and the lights went up, and two men lay stiff and stark...

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    Had Mr. Flak had a large serving of Vodka before the PDA... that has been my experience.. if u wanna a mega tactile INTP get em drunk
    I certainly had not been drinking! It was noonish, I think, and I don't think I'd even been drunk before, being fairly young. I might have left out that I was shy about PDA shortly before that, which disappointed my girlfriend. So, I decided not to care, and demonstrated it in the best way possible.

  7. #47
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martoon View Post
    Nah, don't listen to them. As INTPs, we put on this big act of not liking people just coming up and touching us, but we really crave group hugs, all the time. Especially from friends and coworkers we're not intimately involved with. You need to just be more assertive about hugging her more often. Don't be put off by her defensive shell; she really likes it, and you'll break through to her eventually. It'll just take a lot more hugging.
    Ooh! You're mean!

  8. #48
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    My INTP is more comfortable with PDA than I am, but he doesn't really like other people touching him.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #49
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Touchy-feely from a SO in an established relationship is a whole other category, no complaints there. Hugs from everyone else, not so cool, there are three people in my life that I actually enjoy hugging, one has meaning, one is my crash-hug-tackling sister and one is 2 years old, they are all family. Everyone else falls into the category of 'oh well, I guess I have to' this doesn't mean I don't love or care about you it just seems fake and awkward to me if it's done for no reason. If I like you drunk hugging is ok sometimes.

    Please, for everyones sake STOP HUGGING US!

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Touchy-feely from a SO in an established relationship is a whole other category, no complaints there. Hugs from everyone else, not so cool, there are three people in my life that I actually enjoy hugging, one has meaning, one is my crash-hug-tackling sister and one is 2 years old, they are all family. Everyone else falls into the category of 'oh well, I guess I have to' this doesn't mean I don't love or care about you it just seems fake and awkward to me if it's done for no reason. If I like you drunk hugging is ok sometimes.

    Please, for everyones sake STOP HUGGING US!
    Looking at your avatar, you're the god, aight ?

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