[INTP] INTP and affection

[Martoon]

KLessard, this probably shouldn't matter, but what's your gender and orientation? Could have some effect on your friend's perceptions of your hug assertiveness.

 

[Martoon]

I really don't mind being hugged, if there's a reason for the hug.

What's creepy is when a dude you don't even know hugs you because he's a dirty old man that just wants to hug you to get close to you and possibly feel you up. EW.

Sounds to me like he has a reason.

 

[KLessard]

Oh my, NTs are really suspicious of anything emotional, while it comes so naturally to us, NFs. I would say hugging to us is just the physical manifestation of the deep empathy we feel for people. We need to exteriorise it once in a while.

 

[violaine]

Had Mr. Flak had a large serving of Vodka before the PDA... that has been my experience.. if u wanna a mega tactile INTP get em drunk

Oh yes! The change in demeanor between sober INTP and intoxicated INTP can give you whiplash LOL. One INTP I know, who is very hands-off and is usually cold as a stone in that regard, started trying to teach me swing dancing without warning me first and was very huggy one night recently when he was a little drunk. (We are good friends.) hehe he was so embarrassed the next day, though there was nothing weird about it at all. Come to think of it he is always very huggy with a few people when drunk.

Also, not to be disagreeable, but I don't think it's weird at all when people don't like to be hugged. Personally I don't enjoy hugs from men I am not close to and I am very empathetic (I think that is why... overload!)

 

[Willfrey]

Here is a thought:

Have you ever just up and asked her about it? When I was in a relationship I was pretty upfront about my comfort zones.

 

[Jack Flak]

Had Mr. Flak had a large serving of Vodka before the PDA... that has been my experience.. if u wanna a mega tactile INTP get em drunk

I certainly had not been drinking! It was noonish, I think, and I don't think I'd even been drunk before, being fairly young. I might have left out that I was shy about PDA shortly before that, which disappointed my girlfriend. So, I decided not to care, and demonstrated it in the best way possible.

 

[Kasper]

Nah, don't listen to them. As INTPs, we put on this big act of not liking people just coming up and touching us, but we really crave group hugs, all the time. Especially from friends and coworkers we're not intimately involved with. You need to just be more assertive about hugging her more often. Don't be put off by her defensive shell; she really likes it, and you'll break through to her eventually. It'll just take a lot more hugging.

Ooh! You're mean!

 

[cafe]

My INTP is more comfortable with PDA than I am, but he doesn't really like other people touching him.

 

[Kasper]

Touchy-feely from a SO in an established relationship is a whole other category, no complaints there. Hugs from everyone else, not so cool, there are three people in my life that I actually enjoy hugging, one has meaning, one is my crash-hug-tackling sister and one is 2 years old, they are all family. Everyone else falls into the category of 'oh well, I guess I have to' this doesn't mean I don't love or care about you it just seems fake and awkward to me if it's done for no reason. If I like you drunk hugging is ok sometimes.

Please, for everyone’s sake STOP HUGGING US!

 

[Nihilen]

Touchy-feely from a SO in an established relationship is a whole other category, no complaints there. Hugs from everyone else, not so cool, there are three people in my life that I actually enjoy hugging, one has meaning, one is my crash-hug-tackling sister and one is 2 years old, they are all family. Everyone else falls into the category of 'oh well, I guess I have to' this doesn't mean I don't love or care about you it just seems fake and awkward to me if it's done for no reason. If I like you drunk hugging is ok sometimes.

Please, for everyone’s sake STOP HUGGING US!

Looking at your avatar, you're the god, aight ?

 

[Kasper]

Looking at your avatar

Just look at the discomfort in Gromit’s eyes. That's not a welcomed hug.

you're the god

Sure. I'll take that.

 

[Nihilen]

That's what I meant.

God is doG spelled backwards, I do the mistake after participating in religious debates -_-

 

[mippus]

Aren't Religious Debates one big group hug, really?

 

[INA]

Please, for everyone’s sake STOP HUGGING US!

Noooooo!!!
Hugs rawk! (when they're not from lechers, strangers/creeps and dirty old men), and

A safer bet is to know your INTP. When in doubt, don't hug it out.

 

[Salomé]

Plank cat say NOOOO!

 

[INA]

lol . . . I wondered earlier whether to put up that one or this one:

 

[Wild horses]

U kind of killed it at the end there Mr. Flak because before u announced that this was ur girlfriend and said u were quite young I thought perhaps u were like 5 and it was your mom LOL

 

[Jack Flak]

U kind of killed it at the end there Mr. Flak because before u announced that this was ur girlfriend and said u were quite young I thought perhaps u were like 5 and it was your mom LOL

Nah, I think you killed it.

 

[colmena]

Slightly askew, but how do others react to physical comforting? I've always hated it when people come near me if I'm injured in some way. It's confusing as I'm inclined to looking after everyone. A sort of give but cannot receive type thing, a detached/Fi nightmare.

 

[Lady_X]

^^ hey colmena...i'm the same way...if i'm upset i want to be alone...but i'm always there to comfort someone else...it is weird right.