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  1. #41
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    you're never curious about why other people work differently than you? Why they see the world the way they do?
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    you're never curious about why other people work differently than you? Why they see the world the way they do?
    I've never been interested in people that way. If anything, I'm more interested in teaching others about my interests. It makes me feel smarter than them.

    And I also tend to get jealous when another person shares my interests because it makes me feel less powerful. But I'm guessing that's pretty normal.

  3. #43
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    no... most of us learn that sometimes you're up and sometimes your down.

    Show interest and receive interest.

    Teach and be taught.

    Sometimes the most power you can have is in making others feel powerful.

    The world is not centered around you, and if you think it is you have an unhealthy perspective on things and probably don't like yourself much. Unhappy people think that everything relates to them, happy people realize where they fit in.

    what do you want to be? happy and a part of society or unhappy and isolated? It's your choice.
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #44
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I've never been interested in people that way. If anything, I'm more interested in teaching others about my interests. It makes me feel smarter than them.

    And I also tend to get jealous when another person shares my interests because it makes me feel less powerful. But I'm guessing that's pretty normal.
    Uber, that's coz you don't feel comfortable with yourself and I guess you feel a need to prove yourself because of that. But it can be quite interesting to get someone elses perspective on something and can seriously alter your own as you learn something new this way. In the end, you cannot believe that you know everything. And that's alright, there are other people who can tell you this stuff, you just have to be open to it

    As for the powerstruggle, you need to realize that just because you know something more about a topic, it doesn't make you have power over them. They will always know something about another topic that you have no clue about. And it works vice versa as well. I know it's been said before, but you credit others power they wouldn't have normally. You're just handing it to them although you clearly don't want to

    And believe me, those that do believe that that's the way to gain power and feel this 'powerful', are often very lonely as their view is shared by few.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #45
    Senior Member Fiver's Avatar
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    Are you afraid that if you assert yourself to certain people and in certain situations, you will be showing your true self?

    And then, even more importantly, that they will reject that true self (which is much worse than them rejecting your scary mask.)

    Everyone is afraid of this. The only thing that truly abates this fear is to completely accept your self (your strengths, weakness, as noted above, but also all of your past successes, failures, fears, the things you wanted to do but didn't growing up, everything).

    When you accept yourself, you "are comfortable in your own skin" and everyone who interacts with is able to see this. Freedom from your fear of rejection allows you to become more interested in other people -- not so wrapped up in yourself --- and that makes people more interested in you.

    When you live without fear, you actually become a refuge and a comfort to other people.

    Uber, many people here can feel that there is fear and insecurity behind your bravado. And they care about you whether you think you want them to or not. There is a lot of wisdom in this thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by pippi View Post
    Fiver is correct, it is freeing to not have to impress someone, to be accepted for who you really are.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I'm interested in how people deal with it. How people gain the confidence to stand up to people rather than constantly rehearsing it. How they change their thought processes to become more assertive.
    I believe I'm correct most of the time. I also believe people should treat me with respect. I won't tolerate anything less, and I rarely have problems with confrontation.

  7. #47
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    I believe I'm correct most of the time.
    The problem in the social sphere is that everyone believes they are correct most of the time. Otherwise, we would believe something else, which seems more correct to us.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #48
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Uber, I think you have more strengths inside you than you realize.


    Have you considered that when you're measuring yourself against others, that everyone else is an "other"? Thus there should be several multiples of skills that an "other" has that you don't?

    You don't need to be competent at everything to enjoy life and find your place.

    You do need to get out there and gain experience like every person has whom you view as assertive and confident. Experience is another word for "seeing first-hand how to fail." We all have dropped the ball several times in our adventures outside of TypeC; it's not just you, Uber. Even the ENFJs. I think you should try something new every day. Try a new street to walk down, a new type of store to browse through, a new person to make small-talk with, a new facial expression (smile!), etc.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    The problem in the social sphere is that everyone believes they are correct most of the time. Otherwise, we would believe something else, which seems more correct to us.
    The difference is, I really am right.

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Uber, I think you have more strengths inside you than you realize.
    I can't even find them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    You don't need to be competent at everything to enjoy life and find your place.
    Actually, I think I do.

    I don't know. I think the semi-core of my fear is reminiscent to a teenager who doesn't want to be caught by his parents while doing hobbies or hanging out with friends. If I do things with other people, then my privacy will be put in jeopardy.

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