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  1. #31
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    Why do you want to be assertive Uber?
    we fukin won boys

  2. #32
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Moved and retitled.

    I changed it back. Happy, pippi? Heh.

  3. #33
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    You try it, realise the benefits outweigh the cost, try it again, feel that it's not scary anymore, and then voila! it's second-nature.
    This basically.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    What are some methods you have used to help yourself become more assertive? How do you train yourself effectively?
    a) Follow Maverick's orders
    b) Assertiveness is about *honesty*. Practice saying what you think, want, believe once a day using "I" statements. Ex.: "I don't agree with your idea", "I think I'm awesome, to be honest", "I think the PC market offers a palette of entertainment that is more mature than that of console games, considering the complexity of products and average age of gamers", "Excuse me sir, I was before you in the line". Oh, and insulting/annoying people is not assertiveness, it's being lame. Assertive people don't need anyone - annoying someone is a sign of need.
    c) Eliminate the beliefs you have about people's responses if you are assertive. Some people will like you, others won't. The important is that you get to be authentic!

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Moved and retitled.

    I changed it back. Happy, pippi? Heh.
    Just curious, what was it retitled to? I missed it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    a) Follow Maverick's orders
    b) Assertiveness is about *honesty*. Practice saying what you think, want, believe once a day using "I" statements. Ex.: "I don't agree with your idea", "I think I'm awesome, to be honest", "I think the PC market offers a palette of entertainment that is more mature than that of console games, considering the complexity of products and average age of gamers", "Excuse me sir, I was before you in the line". Oh, and insulting/annoying people is not assertiveness, it's being lame. Assertive people don't need anyone - annoying someone is a sign of need.
    c) Eliminate the beliefs you have about people's responses if you are assertive. Some people will like you, others won't. The important is that you get to be authentic!
    Well, I don't have a problem with expressing my own opinions on things. I have no problem with asserting myself towards my deeper desires. I've repressed them because everyone told me it's impossible, but now I have nothing.

    Right now, I don't have any underlying ambition. I just want to make up for the things I never got to do growing up. And I can't assert myself.

    I just feel powerless against the world.

  6. #36
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    "Tease Uber until he fights back." Not that people were teasing you, but I thought it would be a nice experiment to show you that you're quite capable of being assertive.

  7. #37
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Uber, if you come across in real life like you sometimes do on the site you don't even project any form of confidence to others, in fact you can come of with an emotionally clingy, attention demanding vibe.

    Like Maverick said- you've got to be comfortable with yourself. That means you've got to like you for who/what you are without feedback from other people. Like Coco Chanel, you've got to beleive that you're worthwhile until everyone else decides that you are as well.

    Quit asking others for attention, give and you shall receive. Don't do things for shock value, you'll just alienate yourself farther than you already feel alienated. Ask other people about thier interests, or don't bother at all. Unless they're genuinely interested they don't want to hear about it (they're just being polite!). Just a few tips.

    Sure- other people are scary. Most of them are just as scared of you as you are of them, so get over yourself
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #38
    Senior Member Chemgrl82's Avatar
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    Anytime I waver in whether to assert myself or not, I usually say about one sentence to myself - "It's always better to just assert yourself, get it out there and be honest." My J takes it from there and out it comes.

    I guess this is the easy part for me. The tricky part is mroe on the lines of "How do you keep things in so well?"

    Sigh.
    Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
    E:63% N:84% T:84% J:68%
    8w7 sx

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    Quit asking others for attention, give and you shall receive. Don't do things for shock value, you'll just alienate yourself farther than you already feel alienated. Ask other people about thier interests, or don't bother at all. Unless they're genuinely interested they don't want to hear about it (they're just being polite!). Just a few tips.
    I've never been curious about other people's interests, really. Which is why I need to use my somewhat esoteric interests to get others to be curious about me.

  10. #40
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I've never been curious about other people's interests, really. Which is why I need to use my somewhat esoteric interests to get others to be curious about me.
    Tell me how THAT'S working out for you....

    You must give to receive, socially speaking. If you're not interested in thier interests they have no reason to try and be interested in yours. You can't just demand from others, because eventually they'll get tired of giving without receiving and you'll end up all alone.
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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