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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    Do something DIFFERENT, and outside of your normal comfort zone. That could prompt a change
    But as I said, I feel like I'm being watched, under constant surveillance by a force telling me I'm not allowed to leave my comfort zone.

  2. #22
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Then tell it to Fuck Off

    You'll never get anywhere in life if you don't do things that make you uncomfortable or challenge you to step outside of the norm for you... come on and grow a set! It's the only way that you'll get anywhere!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #23
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    I dunno, maybe I'm just paranoid.

  4. #24
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    *slaps Uber*

    Get over yourself and just act without thinking first- it's the most liberating thing you can do.
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #25
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    What are ways to gain self-respect?

    I mean, I just feel trapped. I just rehearse the assertiveness in front of the air. I can't confront people because part of the problem is that I don't have power over anyone.
    If you're rehearsing in front of the air, that's actually really good, because you already know what assertiveness looks like. You might need power over people to change them, but don't need power over people to be assertive. Assertiveness has to do with expressing yourself more than with getting people to change. Besides, actually speaking up for yourself will force people to start listening more. Like I said before, you just have to risk expressing what you're already thinking. I've seen you do it before on these boards.

    Like everyone else said, it doesn't mean you have to be aggressive. In fact, I don't really think that's in your nature. It just requires that you speak up on your own behalf and correct moments of disrespect. You can do it tactfully and honorably.

    Regarding self-respect...it's a tough call because I don't always identify it. Practicing speaking up for yourself, even though it's scary, is a great way to build some self-respect. Have what I call a "fuck that shit" attitude when people try to dismiss you and advocate on your own behalf. Start there.

  6. #26
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I dunno, maybe I'm just paranoid.
    Everyone is afraid, Uber.

    Fear doesn't go away -- even when you're confident. You just can't let it cut you. You have to act in spite of it.

    Everyone fears.

  7. #27
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Start realizing that there are plenty of people who like you and will not kill you for stepping out of your comfort zone, hell, some of us are trying to get to you step out of it There is no Big Brother watching you and you will not be executed if you come out and play

    Even if you get told of, chances are that the person who did so, will next time not react to you the same way, as they will forget the confrontation fairly quickly. Also look behind the 'critiscism'. Who are they? Why did they react that way, and is there something you can do to respect who you are while not repressing yourself
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  8. #28
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Uber. You're an NT...design a plan that forces you to take small steps to confront your fears more and more. Like, you have to interact with 3 people a week. Make it into a game so it's fun rather than a chore.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    This is a good start, right where you're at, Uber. Sorta where everybody starts. Nothin' too strange about that.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  10. #30
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    This topic seems as surreal as a topic where someone is trying to ask for help on how to be decisive.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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