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  1. #11
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chemgrl82 View Post
    Sound advice.

    But what if your LTR is already in the crapper and a mm comes along, stomping through what's left of your little private reverie?
    Note: This response comes from an idealistic "sex is reserved for marriage Christian" who is currently single. I pretty much have no ethos to respond to this but I will respond with my thoughts anyway since I have thoughts on everything.

    IMO, the mindmate is separate and distinct from the quality of the LTR. The LTR either has the ability to regain some life with TLC from both parties, or it doesn't. Of course if one of the parties gives up, the LTR isn't going to work. But the LTR itself is separate and distinct from any 3rd party.

    I can see that some LTRs just don't have it. THey were a bad idea from the get-go and then circumstances (kids/money/whatever) made it survive for longer than it would've without external pressure.

    IMO when an enticing not-so-baggage-laden 3rd party enters the scene it only messes with one's ability to step back and examine the 2-party relationship.

    I think involving a 3rd party to evaluate the quality of the LTR is a dangerous and win-lose situation at best, likely a lose-lose situation.

    Any LTR needs to be evaluated in and of itself without the real fantasy of something different that's an option to walk away from (which most certainly would come with its own baggage in time just like anything else in this life).
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  2. #12
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    Well surely the level of commitment would matter (a girlfriend compared to a wife) but if I was perfectly happy in the relationship, I probably wouldn't have fostered a deep Mindmate relationship with someone of the opposite sex that I was attracted to in the first place.

    But this is why I want to choose who I get serious with or marry carefully, so I can avoid that potential situation all together.
    Yeah, me too. Choose wisely, then boundaries.


    Note to OP: I realize RL is not as clean and easy as theory. Above statement is theory coming from a single forum geek.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #13
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    I think involving a 3rd party to evaluate the quality of the LTR is a dangerous and win-lose situation at best, likely a lose-lose situation.

    Any LTR needs to be evaluated in and of itself without the real fantasy of something different that's an option to walk away from (which most certainly would come with its own baggage in time just like anything else in this life).
    I agree. You'd need to evaluate the crappiness of the relationship independently of a third party. The grass can look greener really easily if you're in an unfulfilling relationship to begin with.

    I really desire sort of a mindmate/soulmate. It's not enough for me to just have a strong mental connection. I have that with lots of my friends. But if I met the right person and the connection was undeniable, then yes, I could see myself moving every obstacle that stood in our way.
    Something Witty

  4. #14
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Just being a "mindmate" isn't enough, in my opinion. Although, I have seen before that NT females tend to support the idea more.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  5. #15
    Senior Member Chemgrl82's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    On a related note, I've noticed that there really isn't that much literature on mindmates. In fact, the #1 site that comes up for "mindmates" on google is just an INTPc thread.
    Yep. And it's a big thread, too. I posted there as well, since that thread is oh so familiar. Thought it would be neat to see the various responses here, as well.
    Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
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  6. #16
    We all got it comin' kid Delilah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    On a related note, I've noticed that there really isn't that much literature on mindmates. In fact, the #1 site that comes up for "mindmates" on google is just an INTPc thread.
    I think that is because it's a bunch of made up crap and voodoo.
    *clinging to my face like a starfish of love* ....... PinkPiranha

  7. #17
    Senior Member Chemgrl82's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    I think that is because it's a bunch of made up crap and voodoo.
    LIEZ!!! You know you feel it, too! DON'T DENY THE POWA.
    Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
    E:63% N:84% T:84% J:68%
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  8. #18
    We all got it comin' kid Delilah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chemgrl82 View Post
    LIEZ!!! You know you feel it, too! DON'T DENY THE POWA.
    Nope, I feel nothing, I thought I might a few times, but I think it was just gas.
    *clinging to my face like a starfish of love* ....... PinkPiranha

  9. #19
    Senior Member Chemgrl82's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    Nope, I feel nothing, I thought I might a few times, but I think it was just gas.
    Ahhh.... if only I could stamp it out.

    Whoa... deja vu.
    Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
    E:63% N:84% T:84% J:68%
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  10. #20
    We all got it comin' kid Delilah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chemgrl82 View Post
    Whoa... deja vu.
    Indeed. Creepy.

    I got over it though, you need to stomp harder.
    *clinging to my face like a starfish of love* ....... PinkPiranha

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