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Thread: INTP Central

  1. #311
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    Which I guess I've illustrated here. That's what I get for trying to skim through and get the gist, I guess. Go details!
    I gotta admit, I was laughing out loud here when I saw your first post.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #312
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    The older I get, the more people I feel responsible for keeping in touch with, and I can handle it when I'm feeling more mentally on top of things, but when I get stressed, I pull in and maybe talk to a handful of people that are right in front of my face. And then I catch flak for not keeping in touch, or people wonder if they did something wrong.

    I suppose, especially for younger INTPs, it would be hard to keep the Fe train a' rolling for very long, or even be aware it exists. Sometimes I wonder how aware I would be at ALL about social expectations, if not for my mother making me aware.
    Oh, parents can have a strong influence. Let me put it this way. My mother is a rather strong Introvert and doesn't really try to keep up with anyone except her own mother.

    Consequently, I have a very strange approach to social interaction. I pretty much never keep up with anyone who I'm not actively participating with in some kind of connection. I grew up believing that if I wasn't currently attending class with someone, or in some other kind of group with them (like being part of a group that sits together at lunch), then I wasn't affiliated with them and had no business contacting them. So essentially, I wiped my contacts slate clean of a group as soon as I was no longer an active group participant, and tried to form new contacts when I joined a new group.

    Basically, I made the unconscious assumption that people don't form ties based on their past, only based on their present and future. So I essentially believed that my justification for contacting them would have to be something regarding a mutual concern, something that was relevant to both of us. If we no longer shared any mutual concerns, then there was no reason to communicate. If anything, I believed that contacting someone after you were no longer in the same group or shared any mutual concerns was essentially stalking. So I didn't do it.

    I wish I had known. If I hadn't broken ties with everyone (that I wasn't even aware had formed) each year...

    Sorry to throw my own experience into this thread, this post just provoked the thought, and I didn't want to let it slip away.

  3. #313
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I gotta admit, I was laughing out loud here when I saw your first post.
    I just figured that since the thread was about INTPc, that's what he'd be talking about, and I didn't really care enough to read all the details to make sure. Such is my way, I suppose.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  4. #314
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    I just figured that since the thread was about INTPc, that's what he'd be talking about, and I didn't really care enough to read all the details to make sure. Such is my way, I suppose.
    Pippi's not a he either.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #315
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Effing details. stfu!
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  6. #316
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    ^^^ I was hoping my last post would get zero replies, so now I can safely assume that y'all completely agree with me. *grin*

    (ok, so I got some rep comments)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I guess because I felt like in a group of INTP people, it would seem like the ideas would be the more important variables, rather than the pure social factor.
    Ideas get absorbed without anyone necessarily commenting about it at the time. Took me quite a while to realise that.

    And yeah, I noticed that I wasn't the only one getting ignored, but that was maybe even more frustrating, because you just feel like, "Okay, gotcha. Everyone's already formed their friendships and there's no point in trying to shoehorn your way into the discussion."
    Before you gave up on INTPc, you were definitely on my radar at INTPc and I enjoyed your posts there. Perceptions aren't always accurate.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Yes, totally, me, too. In fact, I'm totally aware that I owe you a PM back, and I want to be all thoughtful, which makes me put it off, whereas here, I just kinda let stuff catch my eye, dash my immediate response off and toss it into the ring. But when I'm trying to be all thoughtful or friend-y, I put it off until it's been way too long to make a timely response. :-P

    I have noticed this tendency IRL a LOT lately. The older I get, the more people I feel responsible for keeping in touch with, and I can handle it when I'm feeling more mentally on top of things, but when I get stressed, I pull in and maybe talk to a handful of people that are right in front of my face. And then I catch flak for not keeping in touch, or people wonder if they did something wrong.
    Slightly off topic, but yeah, this is a very similar pattern for me IRL (and on the forums too I guess). I used to feel guilty but now I just figure that there is so much crap going on IRL that it's only going to be a friendship that lasts if people can handle me dropping out of sight for fair chunks of time. I'm trying to break my habit of trying to contort myself to fit to others.
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  7. #317
    you are right mippus's Avatar
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    so in short: don't nag about it, plonge in and you'll learn things are not as bad as they look like from the outside?
    Vanitas vanitatum omnia vanitas

  8. #318
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluebell View Post
    Slightly off topic, but yeah, this is a very similar pattern for me IRL (and on the forums too I guess). I used to feel guilty but now I just figure that there is so much crap going on IRL that it's only going to be a friendship that lasts if people can handle me dropping out of sight for fair chunks of time. I'm trying to break my habit of trying to contort myself to fit to others.
    Yes, exactly. I've been doing it too a lot, I've been forced to... but some of them are already sending me notes asking me if they've done something wrong. (And I want to scream, "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!")

    Which of course leaves me feeling like a dork because I used to do the same thing they're doing, Before All This. Oh well, live and learn. But the point is that right now, even though I know I just need to keep it short and simple and otherwise trust people to read things right, it still is an emotional hit... and when you get a bunch at once when you're tired, you just want to batten down the hatches and lock everyone out.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #319
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Yes, exactly. I've been doing it too a lot, I've been forced to... but some of them are already sending me notes asking me if they've done something wrong. (And I want to scream, "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!")

    Which of course leaves me feeling like a dork because I used to do the same thing they're doing, Before All This. Oh well, live and learn. But the point is that right now, even though I know I just need to keep it short and simple and otherwise trust people to read things right, it still is an emotional hit... and when you get a bunch at once when you're tired, you just want to batten down the hatches and lock everyone out.
    After time online, I think people start getting used to this dynamic. It might be especially true for INs - the dropping off the radar and retreating inside. I'm on both sides of that coin often enough that I would classify it as the expected modus operandi. That is what works well with the internet, though. If I happen to be out of sync with one of my friends and one of us drops off the radar, the other one can seek out someone else. There is always a supply of people even for the introvert in this context. It is quite the eloquent solution to the social needs of the IN (and perhaps other types)

    Changing the subject a bit...
    After several months of not looking at INTPc, I've been reading a little over there. Before the existence of TypoC, non-INTPs typically had mixed signals at INTPc. Creating this site was an eloquent solution to that problem. In reading post at INTPc lately, I was surprised at a handful of non-INTP n00bs really going at it criticizing INTPs on the site. I think most non-INTPs would cringe at least a little reading that. The motivation must be off the visible radar online.

    My favorite debate style is one in which various angles are analyzed and participants are open to being right or wrong. Rather than beating two sets of conclusions out using social dominance, I value people who set all social dynamics aside and zero in on the issue so that learning results from the process. There are bits of that at INTPc, at some philosophy forums, and perhaps at INTJf, but that was another issue that drew me to INTPc initially. The social history there mostly keeps me from posting as a non-INTP, and more often use this forum and others to search for a similar debating style.

    (apologies for any of this that is off-topic.)
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  10. #320
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluebell View Post
    Slightly off topic, but yeah, this is a very similar pattern for me IRL (and on the forums too I guess). I used to feel guilty but now I just figure that there is so much crap going on IRL that it's only going to be a friendship that lasts if people can handle me dropping out of sight for fair chunks of time. I'm trying to break my habit of trying to contort myself to fit to others.
    Word to this, in a big way.

    And, I don't think it's necessarily off-topic. One of the things I enjoy about INTPC is that the connections I've made there have by and large been with people who really get that.

    TypoC I love you too, but there would be no you without INTPC.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

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