This is why I so rarely share my true opinions these days. Just the other day I offended someone because I jokingly said that I would like to vote for some obscure, ridiculous party like the communist party. Granted, it was probably the "ridiculous" part that did it, but I still think it's true.
I was actually just thinking about this today and I realized I used to be the typical, grumpy, harsh, critical, immature NT but I still had a way of leaving people with a favorable opinion of me after they had been around me for a while.
I don't know the insensitivity still bites me in the ass sometimes but I've learned to implement a process of checking for the emotional tones of situations before I speak up. I think it really helps because sometimes like you said people will have strong feelings over things that I think are evident and logically alright to be critical of.
My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.