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  1. #241
    Senior Member ZiL's Avatar
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    Seriously...there's about 8 billion things I would think of doing before going to battle. I'll leave that to the fool-bros any day.
    ALL AROUND THE WORLD PEOPLE EATIN' GUMBO

  2. #242

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    Quote Originally Posted by pippi View Post
    NT women learn to fake some F to survive in society and that helps us develop that function better (fake it till you make it).
    I learned this trick as a child. I had a probable INFP Dad and an ESFJ Mom. They assumed I was holding in emotion that I simply didn't have.
    I still try and fake it at times..or give what I think would be the correct response.

    A person said to me yesterday that they had been fighting a migraine all day. I said "Oh I'm sorry."
    She responded it was no one's fault.
    I told her I was trying to give an "empathetic and feeling response and quit messing up my efforts!"

  3. #243
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaboom View Post
    A person said to me yesterday that they had been fighting a migraine all day. I said "Oh I'm sorry." She responded it was no one's fault. I told her I was trying to give an "empathetic and feeling response and quit messing up my efforts!"
    Good for you!

    Yup, you gave the "socially appropriate" response. You're saying you feel bad for them, rather than the literal "It's my fault, forgive me."

    There are a lot of social subtleties like that, that women are typically more likely (and expected) to learn, where men are not.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #244
    / booyalab's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaboom View Post

    A person said to me yesterday that they had been fighting a migraine all day. I said "Oh I'm sorry."
    She responded it was no one's fault.
    I told her I was trying to give an "empathetic and feeling response and quit messing up my efforts!"
    I hate when I try to show empathy with an "I'm sorry. That sucks." and people respond "It's not your fault". I want to slap them and say "NO SHIT. I'm trying to be empathetic, you douche!" So yeah, I'm not really cut out for it. Usually I just say "I know." with a slight tinge of disdain. It works OK.
    I don't wanna!

  5. #245
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by booyalab View Post
    I hate when I try to show empathy with an "I'm sorry. That sucks." and people respond "It's not your fault". I want to slap them and say "NO SHIT. I'm trying to be empathetic, you douche!" So yeah, I'm not really cut out for it.
    I'm sorry. That sucks.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #246
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    Men are brain-damaged at birth.
    Doesn't everybody know this?
    This generalization is demonstrably false.

    Numerous nations don't practice circumcision as an institution.

  7. #247
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by booyalab View Post
    I hate when I try to show empathy with an "I'm sorry. That sucks." and people respond "It's not your fault". I want to slap them and say "NO SHIT. I'm trying to be empathetic, you douche!" So yeah, I'm not really cut out for it. Usually I just say "I know." with a slight tinge of disdain. It works OK.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I'm sorry. That sucks.
    Excellent!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    There are a lot of social subtleties like that, that women are typically more likely (and expected) to learn, where men are not.
    Actually, I disagree. And not just to have an opposing viewpoint to booya - although that is its own reward .

    I don't observe that particular ritual. I hate it when people say "I'm sorry" in response to hearing bad news. It's just a knee-jerk reaction. It's saying something to have something to say and I hate that.

    - "My dad died, I just found out I have a brain tumour and my house is being repossessed."

    - "I'm sorry".

    How does that help, exactly?

    If you don't have something authentic and meaningful to say, don't say anything. 'Tis my philosophy.
    (Other than on this forum, of course).
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  8. #248
    / booyalab's Avatar
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    You must sense insincerity everywhere if you think someone has to say everything in the most unique way possible in order to mean it.

    BTW, I just pegged the reason for my annoyance with your choice of words. I mean, empathy is accessible to everyone- T or F. But authenticity? As an NT women, I don't give a crap about that. Honesty, yes. But authenticity is bullshit.
    I don't wanna!

  9. #249
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    ^ I intuit it everywhere, yes.

    "Authenticity is bullshit". That's going into my next sig.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  10. #250
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    Excellent!
    I have to admit, I was damn near impressed by myself with that one.

    Actually, I disagree. And not just to have an opposing viewpoint to booya - although that is its own reward .
    I'd allow it if you wanted.

    I don't observe that particular ritual. I hate it when people say "I'm sorry" in response to hearing bad news. It's just a knee-jerk reaction. It's saying something to have something to say and I hate that.

    - "My dad died, I just found out I have a brain tumour and my house is being repossessed."

    - "I'm sorry".

    How does that help, exactly?
    That's the response I had when I was younger. I remember walking across campus and hearing people say "Whassup?" and I was really angry all the time, feeling like they really didn't care and it was all pretense or mindless.

    Coming at it from our natural perspective, it is; it's devoid of literal content.

    Consider it like social glue, however. You're basically investing a small bit of glue to the social network and showing that you have positive intent towards othersr. That's what it does. It creates a general atmosphere of connection instead of a world of silence.

    If that doesn't make sense yet, I can try to explain more. Or maybe Protean would like to.

    "Authenticity is bullshit". That's going into my next sig.
    Do you REALLY mean that?


    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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