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  1. #1
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    Default ENTP being torn apart and rebuilt to socially fit in?

    Have any of you done this? I don't know exactly what happened to me, but I wanted to be more empathetic and bring out the best of people, and I tried to not bring people's ego's down, but try to boost it.
    I began to be extremely self critical. It totally tore me apart. I became utterly empty around everyone.
    I stopped doing this about 4-6 months ago and tried to rebuild myself. I've come quite a way, but I still feel very very brain damaged. I still get awkward around people easily, and people gets awkward around me. I'll try to say something, but I often naturally just end up blurting out something that makes the moment even more awkward.
    I feel lost.
    I wish I could get back my old goofiness.

  2. #2
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    As a part of time when I was suffering - and slowly recovering - from burnout, I identified myself as ENTP for quite some time. I went through and extremely devastating re-valuing, rebuilding period.. I just had to accept I just couldn't be social with the way I was.

    Edit: at the bottom of my depression, I identified as INTP - I actually started to test out as ENTP after the depression ended. I wasn't yet at my most social mood for a while after.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Yeah I've had this, I've had to completely reconstruct my personality in a much more fundamental way, starting right from basic assumptions like gender... cascading through all my interactions with the outside world...

    What can I say? It's a long, hard road, without any short cuts. Just try to keep it together, I guess. The 'blurting out' thing is something I'm still trying to overcome, I don't want to lose it completely because I've often had people say that when I'm "on form" it's one of my most endearing qualities, my spontaneous wit has been called charming as often as it has less flattering adjectives...

    I guess the method I've been using is to apply some discipline to just taking a moment to think before I speak. Just that little moment's reflection can make all the difference. Often it results in me giving myself permission to blurt out something careless, if I think the situation warrants or can withstand it. But it also sometimes results in me thinking 'nah, that's not gonna help' or 'that's likely to be misconstrued' or 'it could create a bad impression' or 'they might think you're being mean'. It doesn't mean I just zip my mouth up all the time - hell no! But it gives me time, if I think what I wanted to say was valid, to just rephrase it in my head for better effect before I say it.

    I find that first impulse can be fine, but it's like a first draft of an essay, story or picture - they can be awesome in themselves, but with a bit of fine tuning, even better. When I give out my 'first impulse: second draft', it tends to generally have good results.
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  4. #4
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    I used to blurt out mostly goofy or witty stuff when I was totally comfortable with myself.
    Now I trained myself to think before I speak, but I over did it so that I over think before I speak, and that usually makes me unable to speak at all. So now I'm trying to just speak on impulse again to get it flowing again. But I find it incredibly difficult to since when my brain juices are low, the words naturally just doesn't flow out, but I need to say things to get the brain juices to flow again. So it's like I'm stuck either way.
    Also when my brain juices are low, it makes it a lot more difficult to say something that connects with the moment. So what I blurt out turns out awkward.
    Additionally, if I try too hard to talk, I'll also get awkward, but if I don't try at all, then I'll usually not have much to say at all.
    I find it incredibly difficult to rebuild myself like this.

  5. #5
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by astroidea View Post
    Have any of you done this? I don't know exactly what happened to me, but I wanted to be more empathetic and bring out the best of people, and I tried to not bring people's ego's down, but try to boost it.
    I began to be extremely self critical. It totally tore me apart. I became utterly empty around everyone.
    I stopped doing this about 4-6 months ago and tried to rebuild myself. I've come quite a way, but I still feel very very brain damaged. I still get awkward around people easily, and people gets awkward around me. I'll try to say something, but I often naturally just end up blurting out something that makes the moment even more awkward.
    I feel lost.
    I wish I could get back my old goofiness.
    Well, I am an INTJ, not an ENTP, but I figured I tell you this story anyway. When I was with an INFJ girl, one day I attempted to be an empathetic person (she was a big time Feeler and I wanted to give it a try for her sake). I felt mentally raped afterwards and I swore I would never do it again.

    So the moral of the story, don't pretend to be someone you are not, lest you end up feeling raped.

  6. #6
    Senior Member IEE623's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by astroidea View Post
    I used to blurt out mostly goofy or witty stuff when I was totally comfortable with myself.
    Now I trained myself to think before I speak, but I over did it so that I over think before I speak, and that usually makes me unable to speak at all. So now I'm trying to just speak on impulse again to get it flowing again. But I find it incredibly difficult to since when my brain juices are low, the words naturally just doesn't flow out, but I need to say things to get the brain juices to flow again. So it's like I'm stuck either way.
    Also when my brain juices are low, it makes it a lot more difficult to say something that connects with the moment. So what I blurt out turns out awkward.
    Additionally, if I try too hard to talk, I'll also get awkward, but if I don't try at all, then I'll usually not have much to say at all.
    I find it incredibly difficult to rebuild myself like this.
    i experienced it. i think the problem was that i thought too much before i said. it's not consistent with my ENP nature. what i did was i started to talk out loud when i was alone. i tried not to articulate things and keep them in my mind anymore. BE CONSISTENT!
    "Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters"

  7. #7
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I think the old feeling will come back @astroidea.

    In times of despair, I grew thoughtful myself, but it wont last long until you regain any sort of goofiness
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  8. #8
    Arcesso pulli gingerios! Eldanen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post

    So the moral of the story, don't pretend to be someone you are not, lest you end up feeling raped.
    +5,000,000

  9. #9
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by astroidea View Post
    Have any of you done this? I don't know exactly what happened to me, but I wanted to be more empathetic and bring out the best of people, and I tried to not bring people's ego's down, but try to boost it.
    This is called being an ENFP.
    I began to be extremely self critical. It totally tore me apart. I became utterly empty around everyone.
    I stopped doing this about 4-6 months ago and tried to rebuild myself. I've come quite a way, but I still feel very very brain damaged. I still get awkward around people easily, and people gets awkward around me. I'll try to say something, but I often naturally just end up blurting out something that makes the moment even more awkward.
    I feel lost.
    I wish I could get back my old goofiness.

    Yeah...
    we fukin won boys

  10. #10
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    I think you'll get back to your old self. And if not back, somewhere that you love being. (Perhaps somewhere in the middle of the new and old self.) But maybe it's not about reconstructing yourself now. Maybe it's about deconstructing the parts that you added that shouldn't have been there. How do you strip it away? Visualize how you want to act often. Practice. Practice with people you're very comfortable with. Meditate. Do something so exciting that your old self simply cannot hide away anymore. Just ideas. I think you'll self-heal.
    "When a resolute young fellow steps up the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find that it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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