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  1. #131
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    That isn't like some of us at all, I'll tell you that. The last time I was in a relatively similar situation, as in alone together for the first time, I said "You know I have to kiss you right now." I hadn't even been drinking.
    1. Did you make up that line on the spot or did you prepare it ahead of time?
    2. Did it work?

  2. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    1. Did you make up that line on the spot or did you prepare it ahead of time?
    2. Did it work?
    1. On the spot.
    2. Yes ma'am!

  3. #133
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    i read some place that the following types have the worst marriage types

    intp
    esfp
    infp
    estp

    seems funny that their dual is like them.

    only istp is the only perceiver that is the highest of marriage types. like 45% compared to the above perceivers who are 35%, typical judgers like isfj/istj tend to score 50%+ the second highest perceiver would be isfp.

  4. #134
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    WHAT DO YOU MEAN "marriage types?"

  5. #135
    Senior Member Darjur's Avatar
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    Generally, I'd phrase that we fear the unknown aspect of a relationship more, than we have a fear of intimacy.

  6. #136
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    1. On the spot.
    2. Yes ma'am!
    I'm not surprised.

  7. #137
    Senior Member Llewellyn's Avatar
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    Fear of losing authority, yeah in a way it is that. Speaking from myself, I easily get the idea to lose myself in whatever interaction.

    Also, I mainly want to be honest who to be intimate with. Not that I have much experience. It's a fact I could get intimate with a lot, it's just difficult to decide which single one I would be intimate with.

    From a partly speculative perspective...

  8. #138
    Senior Member Llewellyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoahFence View Post


    Didn't read the whole thread here, but for myself, per the OP, it is not fear of intimacy, persay.

    Intimacy is, or was until I was roughly 30, "the unknown". I simply had no clue how it was supposed to work, nobody uploaded the protocols into my head that everyone else seemed to know, take for granted, and assume was "common sense" which FUCK YOU no it is not, it makes NO SENSE most of the time and is a poorly cobbled together pile of loosely tied patchwork that most people disagree on when it boils down to basics. I was terrified of being "found out" that I was a freak, basically, even though for all intents and purposes I really wasn't. It was a long, long time before I realized that I was so clueless that I was depending on the other person's judgement for whether or not I was "doing it right". Then I realized, wait, WTF? I don't value these people's judgements about anything else...why the hell am I so worried they're going to tell me I'm a bad person?

    So, do I fear intimacy? Not directly. I fear the unknown, and since intimate dealings were opaque as crap, they scared me. Plenty of blunt-force-trauma in relationships later, I'm totally inured (ha ha "a nerd" ba-dum-tsh)
    Right... I'm up to 30 (28). But I'm not afraid of the unknown. Or I reverse known and unknown in some things...

    I'm so completely conscious, of opportunities, but it just doesn't 'get' there. I talk to myself and still see it happening the other way. I'm only now, at this age, grounding and starting to enjoy (more aspects of) normal life.

  9. #139
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    Betrayal: Others using information you have shared with them (whether it's just an opinion, or your feelings, or something you liked/dislike, or something you appreciated, or a political stance, or personal belief) in order to hurt you (if they are mad at you) or to otherwise try to make you do something against your will.

    Stuff like that.

    Note that this is one reason why many INTPs despise Fe early on. Immature Fe easily abuses the sort of disclosures an INTP might make.
    What about... telling other people about your discussions with the INTP? Is that considered betrayal? I mean, telling other people about your discussions with the INTP (and the info you got out of it) with no mean intentions whatsoever? Like, just telling other people about it in hope that they could offer some advice/insight into the INTP?
    Especially if you are very confused by said INTP.

  10. #140
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twixt View Post
    What about... telling other people about your discussions with the INTP? Is that considered betrayal? I mean, telling other people about your discussions with the INTP (and the info you got out of it) with no mean intentions whatsoever? Like, just telling other people about it in hope that they could offer some advice/insight into the INTP?
    Especially if you are very confused by said INTP.
    Hmmm... I think you have to be careful. It could go either way.

    Some INTPs might be "detached" enough that they see it just as information-exchange.

    Other INTPs might feel very touchy about personal conversations, like you're spreading stories about them behind their backs, and they don't have control over things they shared they thought were secret.

    If you're not sure, but you feel compelled to ask for advice (and really are doing it for good reason), either make sure that the INTP in question is not at all identifiable by your comments, and/or that it is in a very closed environment so that they'll never ever find out (obviously that still has risks). If you can clear it with the INTP, that's even better; but that might not often be possible, depending on the situation.

    You should try hard to keep everything impersonal, so that it is viewed as information-exchange and not some sort of emotional outburst/dumpage or an attempt to manipulate socially in some way. Always assume the INTP in question *will* find out at some point, so you should keep your comments as clean as possible from obvious bias or negative representation.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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