User Tag List

First 910111213 Last

Results 101 to 110 of 145

  1. #101
    sophiloist Kaizer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INTp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII None
    Posts
    787

    Default

    Cliche'd as it is, figured I'd quote this, an excerpt referred to by some as the utterance of a solipsist :

    “I believe if there’s any kind of God, it wouldn’t be in any of us, not you or me but just this little space in between. If there’s any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it’s almost impossible to succeed, but who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt.”

    - Celine in Before Sunrise (1995)
    The answer must be in the attempt
    avy url : natgeocreative Photo

  2. #102
    Senior Member NoahFence's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    288

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Yeah, that's the thing. I just run into a lot of extraverts that get offended and act as if I'm a snob if I don't want to have a big ole four hour conversation on the airplane, or if I'd rather go home after work than go out for drinks. Why can't THAT just be what it is?


    Didn't read the whole thread here, but for myself, per the OP, it is not fear of intimacy, persay.

    Intimacy is, or was until I was roughly 30, "the unknown". I simply had no clue how it was supposed to work, nobody uploaded the protocols into my head that everyone else seemed to know, take for granted, and assume was "common sense" which FUCK YOU no it is not, it makes NO SENSE most of the time and is a poorly cobbled together pile of loosely tied patchwork that most people disagree on when it boils down to basics. I was terrified of being "found out" that I was a freak, basically, even though for all intents and purposes I really wasn't. It was a long, long time before I realized that I was so clueless that I was depending on the other person's judgement for whether or not I was "doing it right". Then I realized, wait, WTF? I don't value these people's judgements about anything else...why the hell am I so worried they're going to tell me I'm a bad person?

    So, do I fear intimacy? Not directly. I fear the unknown, and since intimate dealings were opaque as crap, they scared me. Plenty of blunt-force-trauma in relationships later, I'm totally inured (ha ha "a nerd" ba-dum-tsh)
    "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo

  3. #103
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Hmm... what do ya think?
    Actually, I HATE that expression and would never use it. The first time someone said that to me (he happened to be a good friend - I guess you'd have to know Glaswegians to understand that), I nearly fainted with disgust.

    But even more than that, I hate double standards for men and women in such matters.

    EDIT. Or any matters.

  4. #104
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    Actually, I HATE that expression and would never use it. The first time someone said that to me (he happened to be a good friend - I guess you'd have to know Glaswegians to understand that), I nearly fainted with disgust.
    Which expression?
    - F.O.A.D.
    - "I"m not responsible for your feelings."

    This was a little confusing, considering what you quoted from my post.

    But even more than that, I hate double standards for men and women in such matters.
    And what is the double standard again? I'm a little unclear.

    I'm not for double standards; however, I'm fine for people needing potentially different things or having inherently different values in a relationship and thus those things need to be accommodated in a specific relationship. And as far as gender relations go, it could probably be debated that a large chunk of women look for something in relationships that a chunk of men do not, and vice versa; or are bothered by something that men aren't, and vice versa.

    Avoid prejudice; do be aware of and accommodate general values.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #105
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Which expression?
    - F.O.A.D.
    - "I"m not responsible for your feelings."

    This was a little confusing, considering what you quoted from my post.

    And what is the double standard again? I'm a little unclear.
    The first.

    My "use" of it was in response to this:

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Oh, to be a guy in a case like that. If you're a girl and say that, a social WWIII starts.
    That's the double standard that irks me.

    Your comment suggested that you might have taken offense. So I was attempting to clarify the ironical tone.....not very well, apparently....


  6. #106
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    I relate to that. Not only do I not count on people until they've shown they can be counted upon, nor show affection before I have a good read on a person, it's extremely rare for me to flake out and ditch someone without good reason. I can only remember doing that once, and I would take it back if I could. In friendships or relationships, I keep promises until it's impossible not to. It would violate my internal code of honor to break them, or betray someone's trust, and I would feel like less of a human being.




    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post


    INTPs are teh best.
    ummm...yeah...nice

    and...i appreciate the above exchange quite a lot...a lot to think about...thanks..

  7. #107
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    The first.
    Oh. That was my second choice, glad I asked.

    That's the double standard that irks me.
    Oh.

    Your comment suggested that you might have taken offense. So I was attempting to clarify the ironical tone.....not very well, apparently....
    Yeah, I am even more clueless than I was before about what was getting said, but don't feel like going back to research.

    ...At least you know I probably wasn't offended...
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #108
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Hahaha, well, there is something to that. I think we're a little mistrustful of those who seem like they've always been able to waltz through life on the merits of their charms. I tend to like ENFPs, though.

    My problem isn't so much that an ENFP would talk to me for an hour and then walk away and that be the end of it. I have no problems chitchatting with someone on a superficial, fun level to pass the time, if it's someone that's easy to talk to. Not a fan of smalltalk in general, but there are definitely times where I'll strike up a conversation with someone, and I have no expectations of them for going forward.

    What I cannot, and WILL not do, no matter who gets mad at me, is open up and share intimate, personal things, or things that I consider private, just because someone wants to be entertained for an hour or two. I will just not bite, because if I did, I would feel violated. Keep it at fluff-level, and we'll be fine. Otherwise, you'll have to be a real friend in order to know more.
    this thread is SO interesting...and i am such an enfp! i had no idea! shit!

    so...is it considered crass almost for someone to expect a personal exchange so quickly...because...the fluff...isn't as interesting...and i think there's this deep desire for connection...i'm not sure i know how to relate to people differently...but i'll have to learn if it's offensive

  9. #109
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    1,917

    Default

    I also love INTPs but the thing is their 'fear of intimacy' can lead to many problems with communication and its just so hard to get things off the ground then. My dealings with INTPs have often fallen down because the INTP somehow believes that I'm the 'confident one' which couldn't be further from the truth actually, if I feel something strongly enough I don't really like to share it with just any ole person (Sometimes I do but its usually a mistake or me being caught up in the moment) so then the relationship goes something like this

    INTP: (Thinks to himself) Look at the way she is with others, pouring her love out to everyone and anyone that walks buy and is prepared to throw her a bone. She doesn't really give me the time of day, so I don't want this persons cheap emotions anyway

    ENFP: (Thinks to herself) Ok this guy doesn't really like me in fact I would go so far as to say he hates me or at the very mildest I irritate him. I have really strong feelings for him too, how unfortunate! Good job I find it hard to express my most deepest emotions and so haven't made a complete fool of myself yet with someone who holds me in contempt.

    INTP: Ok haven't seen this person in like weeks! I know she is being a good friend to everyone else she knows, just not me **** her. I don't even want her friendship anymore

    ENFP: Been trying to give the INTP the space he needs, also trying not to piss him off. Been good for about a day and a half(Which to me seems like centuries) I will try to be friendly again cos I want to keep friends if nothing else.

    ENFP extends an olive branch to her friend, INTP snaps the branch in half and instead of saying "You haven't been treating me much like a friend lately" So ENFP can have some idea whats been going on in his head and explain herself ,INTP simply says, "We were never friends!" ENFP smiles and agrees, (Must keep the harmony) and then goes home to sob and moan forevermore about INTPs on forums such as this....

    Not that this has ever happened to me or anything! LOL

  10. #110
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    977

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    I also love INTPs but the thing is their 'fear of intimacy' can lead to many problems with communication and its just so hard to get things off the ground then. My dealings with INTPs have often fallen down because the INTP somehow believes that I'm the 'confident one' which couldn't be further from the truth actually, if I feel something strongly enough I don't really like to share it with just any ole person (Sometimes I do but its usually a mistake or me being caught up in the moment) so then the relationship goes something like this

    INTP: (Thinks to himself) Look at the way she is with others, pouring her love out to everyone and anyone that walks buy and is prepared to throw her a bone. She doesn't really give me the time of day, so I don't want this persons cheap emotions anyway

    ENFP: (Thinks to herself) Ok this guy doesn't really like me in fact I would go so far as to say he hates me or at the very mildest I irritate him. I have really strong feelings for him too, how unfortunate! Good job I find it hard to express my most deepest emotions and so haven't made a complete fool of myself yet with someone who holds me in contempt.

    INTP: Ok haven't seen this person in like weeks! I know she is being a good friend to everyone else she knows, just not me **** her. I don't even want her friendship anymore

    ENFP: Been trying to give the INTP the space he needs, also trying not to piss him off. Been good for about a day and a half(Which to me seems like centuries) I will try to be friendly again cos I want to keep friends if nothing else.

    ENFP extends an olive branch to her friend, INTP snaps the branch in half and instead of saying "You haven't been treating me much like a friend lately" So ENFP can have some idea whats been going on in his head and explain herself ,INTP simply says, "We were never friends!" ENFP smiles and agrees, (Must keep the harmony) and then goes home to sob and moan forevermore about INTPs on forums such as this....

    Not that this has ever happened to me or anything! LOL
    Ahaha, that made me smile, well the INTP part did.

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] INFP with a Fear of Intimacy Now Ignoring Me
    By CandyCane11 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 10-02-2016, 10:26 AM
  2. [INTP] INTP and Fear of Rejection
    By greenfairy in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 08-11-2012, 01:09 AM
  3. [INTP] What do INTPs think of the world financial crisis?
    By Cypocalypse in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 02-20-2009, 07:32 PM
  4. [INTP] INTP 2 INTP (possibly of use to others)
    By Xander in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: 04-16-2008, 11:26 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO