User Tag List

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 12 of 12

Thread: How to avoid being the problem dumping ground?

  1. #11
    Senior Member Array mochajava's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    479
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Silkroad: If you look after your own health and surround yourself with people who are basically good for you, you will be happier, you will enjoy life more, and you'll have more energy and support to offer to people who are worth it.
    That was so wonderful, it needed reiterating "You'll have more energy and support to offer people who are worth it." So if doing good is your goal, then preserving yourself against "takers" or "emotional vampires" is just a way to be able to do more and better.

  2. #12
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,963
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mochajava View Post
    That was so wonderful, it needed reiterating "You'll have more energy and support to offer people who are worth it." So if doing good is your goal, then preserving yourself against "takers" or "emotional vampires" is just a way to be able to do more and better.
    Yes! I'm coming to think of it sort of as "being selfish to be unselfish." I mean, none of us will ever get the balance perfectly right. I think I'm a fairly unselfish person, but sometimes I do just distance myself even when I could genuinely offer help. And on the flip side, sometimes I over-extend myself and get little or nothing back. But I think I'm getting better at it.

    Certainly if you have tried to do what you can for such people, and all that happens is they drain and pain you with their problems, and don't show much gratitude, let alone mutual support and upbuilding...and this may even have happened over a somewhat lengthy time period...you shouldn't feel guilty about walking away or at least having way more distance between you and them. Very likely you WILL feel some guilt because that's probably the kind of person you are. But really...you shouldn't! The people who you can have mutually rewarding relationships with actually do exist out there.
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

Similar Threads

  1. Just dumping this here: An argument for a flat earth.
    By xisnotx in forum Science, Technology, and Future Tech
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-20-2012, 03:03 PM
  2. ENFP's and dumping people?
    By BerberElla in forum The NF Idyllic
    Replies: 85
    Last Post: 09-24-2009, 01:38 PM
  3. NT problem causing or problem solving?
    By Nocapszy in forum The NT Rationale
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03-15-2008, 03:59 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •