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Thread: What attracts an ENFP male and how do you keep him?

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    Senior Member Array Lightyear's Avatar
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    Default What attracts an ENFP male and how do you keep him?

    So what attracts an ENFP male? How do you catch him and keep him?

    My major problem with ENFPs is that they are just all over the place, unless you happen to see one on a regular basis through uni, work etc it's almost impossible to get hold of them since the ones I have met don't really believe in replying to emails or text messages etc. They are fascinating but just so bloody elusive, it sometimes seems pointless to invest any energy in building the friendship/relationship with them since not much is coming back. Or did I just meet some bad ENFP eggs?
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    Negotiator/Explorer Array Amargith's Avatar
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    yeah..we suck at keeping in touch, at least, I know I do. Try msn or another interactive medium, that's one way to keep in touch, and don't be afraid to bug him when he's online. Also, I dunno if you have had any contact with him yet, but I know that when I'm intrigued by someone that that makes me come back, as long as there's someone fascinating and engaging on the other end. You should be plenty deep and intriguing, as an INFJ, which should capture his attention if made aware of those things, I'd say. But I'm a female one, and our brethren are quite different from us females, so I'll leave it up to them to verify this
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    Agree with Amargith. Don't be scared to ask him to do more stuff. ENFPs dislike organisation to a point, but love closeness and personal contact. We sometimes suck at reading signals too, so being straight forward can help.

    As much as we can seem really randomly silly, we tend to hold love on a pretty high level also, so are somewhat uncomfortable at the start of relationships when it can seem to be not very open and working on a quite superficial level. If you want to grab him and keep him, you have to go searching deep, and just be happy to affirm and show interest. Feeling is a really good thing also, and probably will win points, so relax and let the F in your personality show. We tend to see around the uncertainty and stuff, and will judge more on not being open than on someone being wrong or unsure.

    Other good things are, philosophical discussions, art, exploring the very essence of what it is to be human and exist, looking to understand things... I think my ideal partner would be one who would challenge me always, and test me never. And always be open to seeing new things and exploring new possibilities.
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    Was E.laur Array Laurie's Avatar
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    The important part of keeping an ENFP long term is to be engaged. Always.

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    Senior Member Array Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Hey Lightyear, I'm an ENFP and one out of two ain't bad.

    Are you hot?


    (The trick to attracting an ENFP male is happening to be in the right place at the right time.)

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    Do ENFP's take a decent amount of time to ACT on their attraction to others? Do they drop hints, and if so, what do they look like? Do they tend to initiate?

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    Negotiator/Explorer Array Amargith's Avatar
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    The attraction intensifies with each contact. I take a while to make up my mind about what that person will eventually be in my life. For instance, someone can draw your attention by how they look, do things or what they said, which makes you wanna talk to them. But if after the first conversation that spark is already gone, I move on. Is the conversation good though, I'm more than happy to have a second one, some time. However if that doesn't happen, I don't go actively seek it. Once a couple of conversations have panned out well, I'm more likely to come and seek it out, as then I don't feel as pushy and there's a bond. Then it's a matter of deciding whether the person will be a friend or has the potential for more.
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    Fail 2.0 Array BlueScreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WieldingTheSword View Post
    Do ENFP's take a decent amount of time to ACT on their attraction to others? Do they drop hints, and if so, what do they look like? Do they tend to initiate?
    Depends on the situation. I can be very forward and playful, or quite shy. But if I like someone I will normally make sure they have a good idea of it, or try to, so if they like me they can feel comfortable reciprocating.

    There's a huge drive for openness also. Though you can't really use it as a sign, because I tend to be quite open to random people too, just for the sake of interesting conversation.

    Maybe some other ENFP guys can answer more definitely.
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    RETIRED Array CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    So what attracts an ENFP male? How do you catch him and keep him?

    My major problem with ENFPs is that they are just all over the place, unless you happen to see one on a regular basis through uni, work etc it's almost impossible to get hold of them since the ones I have met don't really believe in replying to emails or text messages etc. They are fascinating but just so bloody elusive, it sometimes seems pointless to invest any energy in building the friendship/relationship with them since not much is coming back. Or did I just meet some bad ENFP eggs?
    Hmmm, ENFPs can be especially scattered (or seem that way) and random when we're younger. Are you sure you have responded to every text and call and signal from an ENFP? Even though we seem 'elusive' we actually feel real affectio nand interest in people and if we get 'shot down' more than 1x or feel that you aren't really that into us or for whatever reason, feel like it's not a good friend 'match' - we may back off.

    Especially when we're younger and can be more sensitive or hyper-NE'ish, we may pick up on signals that you aren't inerested or just need you to be around more (out of sight, out of mind is textbook ENFP) to get the ball rolling.

    As for the other question ^^

    Yes, for me if I am interested in someone I show my attraction/interest pretty soon initially but I also guage the situation and the other person's interest and response.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

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    OMG Lightyear - INFJs in general totally attract ENFPs from my experience! He probably is interested in you & if he's not he's a blind immature fool. I'm a female ENFP & I am on the constant lookout for the mysterious, quiet, loner, introvert with depth . . . anyways . . . if he's young than he is probably very scattered / ADD / ADHD & responds to whatever is the most stimulating thing in the moment (at least that's my opinion). Maybe you should tell us more about him??? I'd be curious to know where he is in his life . . .

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