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[INFP] Overly sensitive INFP's?

BerberElla

12 and a half weeks
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
2,725
MBTI Type
infp
I got to say, I am sick to death of this belief that INFP's are the MOST sensitive type of all the types, the most likely to cry or take offence and take it all personally.

I have met INFJ's who appear way more sensitive to criticism than I am, or who take offence at the slightest thing.

Over at my forum for instance, there is an INFJ who is always throwing hissy fits and leaving over the slightest "offence" only to return again after much pleading from other members. Me, the INFP, has told him to grow a thicker skin.

My ISFJ friend also takes offence super quickly and buries the hurt deep inside her.

Or my ex ISTj husband, who took everything personally, couldn't have a joke with him because he took it so god damn seriously all the time.

I'm not saying INFP's aren't a sensitive bunch, but the MOST sensitive? I disagree.

Anyone else agree/disagree?
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
MBTI Type
YMCA
Agree, you guys aren't the most sensitive. Try to tell the world that though ;).
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
Ok then who is the most senstive?


Is there even such a thing as most sensitive type?
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
5,290
MBTI Type
INfp
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
You are awfully sensitive about being perceived as sensitive, Berberella. :D

You seem to be equating 'sensitive' to be being 'irritatingly thin-skinned, moody, and whiny; a pussy'. I don't associate those behaviors with any MBTI type, but rather as a reflection that a person is emotionally underdeveloped or is very stressed. Even ISTPs can be moody little creatures sometimes.

Now if you want to talk about who is objectively the most sensitive, in the sense that they are easily hurt and delicately aware of the feelings of others, then we can talk. In fact, that's actually a very interesting quesiton! I say INFPs probably aren't the most sensitive in this regard. ENFJs, ISFJs, ISFPS, and ESFJs can all easily give us a run for our money.
 

nanook

a scream in a vortex
Joined
Jul 22, 2007
Messages
1,361
there are different types of sensitivity. one of them is what i will call "moral sensitivity" (without suggesting that we are talking about a developed sense or moral)
its a sensitivity about principles

and it depends on the relationship and other factors how this sensitivity "feels". the "morally" sensitive type would eventually be able to be totally arrogant, considering him self to be to perfect to bother with "offending people". thats a enneagram sort of way of avoiding anger. but it does not work if you are more like a four and adore someone. then it might hurt badly.

well i m getting tried. you should be able to imagine how it feels different, has different intensity, depending on many factors....

the other sensitivity is more of an strategical sensitivity. about feeling save or threatened. easier to understand, i guess.

there is also a caring sensitivity, like when you care for a group of close ones. may be a projection, though. like "if you attack them, you are attacking me". but "they" may not even exist. or they do.

in any of the two cases it depends on other factors, how someone deals with it.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
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ESFP
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9w8
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sx/sp
I'd say we feel the most out of everyone, but this doesn't make us crybabies. It's just different. This is why we are called the most sensitive, because people don't understand the difference between feeling a lot and being overly sensitive.
 

BerberElla

12 and a half weeks
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
2,725
MBTI Type
infp
Agree, you guys aren't the most sensitive. Try to tell the world that though ;).

I am telling the world, the world of teh internets. ;)

Ok then who is the most senstive?


Is there even such a thing as most sensitive type?

I have no idea, I'm just saying it's not my type lol.

You are awfully sensitive about being perceived as sensitive, Berberella. :D

You know, when I posted it I did have an inner chuckle at the irony of the statement. :D

You seem to be equating 'sensitive' to be being 'irritatingly thin-skinned, moody, and whiny; a pussy'. I don't associate those behaviors with any MBTI type, but rather as a reflection that a person is emotionally underdeveloped or is very stressed. Even ISTPs can be moody little creatures sometimes.

Now if you want to talk about who is objectively the most sensitive, in the sense that they are easily hurt and delicately aware of the feelings of others, then we can talk. In fact, that's actually a very interesting quesiton! I say INFPs probably aren't the most sensitive in this regard. ENFJs, ISFJs, ISFPS, and ESFJs can all easily give us a run for our money.

Yes, but maybe it's just my perception, however I keep stumbling across posts that seem to equate the part in bold as being an INFP trait. Oh those god damn INFP's, clingy bunch of whiners etc etc.

I see your point though. :)
 

nanook

a scream in a vortex
Joined
Jul 22, 2007
Messages
1,361
there are stages of development, that are true for all types. for instance one of the stages is commonly called "rational". that doesn't mean you become a T type, although pre-rational F types may think that about you. anyway at some stage people can have bad trouble with a "categorical imperative" type of thinking. generalizations will boost emotional reactions.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Those weird NF's are very sensitive across the board.
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
I'll take a lesson from Clint Eastwood, a person has got to know their limitations. :D But yes absolutely--INFJ can give INFP a run for their money. Imagine if they were married to each other!
 

CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
2,152
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XNFP
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sx/sp
LOL,I openly admit I'm sensitive. Seriously I don't care (that much;)) about being thought as such, but I know I'm not THAT sensitive.
But do I cry at every perceived insult, no. I'm pretty dark. I'm sensitive physically as well (a definite bonus in certain areas).
Sensitivity has so many negative implications, but also has really good things associated with it too. Seriously, I think less sensitive types are missing out, if they can't appreciate the beauty of things like shimmering light patterns on the wall. I mean we see beauty in everyday things,
 

Shaggy

New member
Joined
Jan 8, 2009
Messages
45
MBTI Type
INfJ
What about NFs in general? We are perfectionists in a way, so failure is hard to accept. If we fail to achieve our main objective, anyone one of us NFs can get sensitive to criticism regarding that perticular subject. Self guilt is destructive, sending one into a downward spiral. Being passive-agressive can lead to lashing out at the source feeding the self guilt thats building inside. Not saying all NFs are passive-agressive, but the NFs that are I believe could be the most sensitive.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
Some of the most sensitive people i know are INFPs but that mean its a type trait. INFPs tend to be really sensitive about things that INFJs usually could care less about and vice versa. I'm guessing it has also has to do with the maturity level too. If this were a vote, I would still vote the INFPs as the most sensitie type though. However, sensitivity, i think, is a good thing. :).
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
I can be overly sensitive, but at the same time i can be under sensitive, so it depends on the situation. I'm not as sensitive as I use to be, I think I've grown a thicker skin.

but what annoys me. annoys, not upset, note the difference. Is on vent Ts will think I'm upset and start apologize and I'm like I'm not upset, and try to explain, but all they here is "blah blah I'm an NF I won't say I'm hurt blah blah blah but you're an ass blah blah blah I'm gonna go cut myself on listen to emo music blah" and I'm like wondering if it's even worth explaining that I'm not actually insulted about it just let them think I am.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
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Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
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ESFP
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I think sensitive has a negative tone to it. I feel a lot, but I don't cry over every insult, I throw one back. I am like prpl, I am sensitive toward certain things and insensitive toward other things.
 

JivinJeffJones

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
3,702
MBTI Type
INFP
Some things which bother other people not at all bother me deeply (or extensively, at least). Other things which bother almost everyone else deeply bother me not at all.

Some things which bother me a lot take a long time before they do so.

Overall, I'd guess that I'm not bothered by as many things as most other people, but that I'm bothered more by the things which do actually bother me. I have no way of knowing for sure, though. I could in fact be a whiny INFP in denial.

Whichever way it works, the process of me being bothered is usually a slow one which is invisible to the casual observer irl. Often it takes me a few hours to realize that I'm bothered, and then a few days to pinpoint exactly why I'm bothered. Oddly, I'm much quicker at working out when other people are bothered and why. Or I think I am. Since I'm far too sensitive to bluntly call them out on it.



:doh:

Edit: dammit, I just read the rest of this thread and it completely looks like I'm knocking off The Chooks' post.
 

scantilyclad

almost nekkid
Joined
Jul 31, 2007
Messages
2,106
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INFP
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4w5
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so/sp
I've been called overly sensitive, but only people who know me well. If i'm offended, and i don't know the person, i will either keep the offense to myself and dwell on it for awhile, or i will dwell on the offense until it makes me so mad that i blow up at them. And then i'm usually really embarrassed about overreacting. I've done it to people here a few times.:blush:

i'm pretty sensitive, but i think INFJs can be more sensitive. I dated an INFJ for a few years and i have never accidentally offended or hurt feelings of a person more in my life.
 

Shaggy

New member
Joined
Jan 8, 2009
Messages
45
MBTI Type
INfJ
I lived with a girlfriend for close to a year that was an INFP. We lived with my close friend who was an ESFP. When my friend was upset with my INFP girlfriend, he came and talked to me about it cause he and I both thought his intense emotions would put her in a depressed lockdown mood and nobody would be able to get through. I filtered his rant (bitch fest). I had a way of mirroring her emotions when she felt bad, so I felt her out throughout our conversation to acurately relay his intentions. My girlfriend I live with now is an ESFJ. She is just as sensitive, but that same type of rant would light a fire under her ass. She would pour just as much emotions back at him until they resolved the issue or found an understanding. I always told me son. You have the right to feel the way you feel. It's how you act upon your emotions you will pay the consequences for. An INFP, INFJ, and ESFJ feeling the same from the same rant, but we would all react differently to our emotions with ESFJ coming across as being the most sensitive.
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
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infj
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5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i think infj and infp are about as sensitive as it gets.

Fe makes you perceive social success as being able to create and manage the feelings, impressions, and attitudes of others. you feel responsible to pull it off without a hitch. when you can not do well in that regard, when you perceive others having a perspective from which they can criticize or dislike you, it is easy for you to get upset. you are extremely sensitive and vulnerable in this regard.

infp does not tolerate any outside source threatening or diminishing their subjective values, feelings, beliefs, etc. bc, as an infp friend told me, "our feelings are all we have." Ne makes them creative and imaginative, but they identify with Fi, which is where they judge and sort out the feeling-value-priority determinations and interpret prior experiences that guide them and define their lives. they ARE their values, and they view antithetical/conflicting values as threatening/a slight on them.

it seems to me that when stressed infj is more likely to be a melodramtic passive aggressive manipulator, whereas infp would be more likely to be full of self-righteous moral indignation. of course, when really stressed, i'm sure each type is more than capable of pulling out ALL the stops.

the directing vs informing communication style difference also plays a huge part in the perception of sensitivity and gentility. for both types, it is often extremely difficult to know exactly how you've stepped on their emotional toes.
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
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Dec 22, 2008
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INFP
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4w5
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so/sp
Personally, I have trained myself out of being too sensitive to insults. They used to cripple me - now I can manage it better. I can filter a lot of it and overcome it with a little self-therapy. Also I save the pain for myself and outwardly appear to cope really well. Me crying in front of other people (even those close to me) is unbearable and to be avoided at all costs. I don't seem all that sensitive in general to most people. I appear to be a calm and collected person. They have no idea and that's the way I like it. INFPs get PERSECUTED if they get found out.

I'm curious about the whole inward/outward emotions. Do most of you thing of yourself like this? Separating how you express emotions to you self from how you express it to others? For example, I consider myself to have a serious temper but I always control it - so most people say I'm very even-tempered. I'm like an emotion nazi when it comes to outward displays of feeling. I allow myself to feel, explore and understand an emotion INTERNALLY but the idea of unleasing it in an uncontrolled fashion is just plain terrifying.
 
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