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[INFP] INFP Romance

hopeseed

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Messages
71
MBTI Type
INF~
Enneagram
4 w5
Alright, I'm sure this has been a discussion before, but here goes. Does anyone have anything to say about an INFP woman and man doing well together, the woman having a slight J preferece but kinda in the middle on that one. Sex, Marriage, living together? I'd never been with a more caring and deeply loving man before, I didn't know they existed, I thought I was this way because I'm a woman before I studied personality. So what do you guys think about two outragiously romantic INFP's...seems too good to be true but it's been over a year, the best year of my life...
 

Siegfried

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
237
MBTI Type
?
Thats great you know. Just from reading from your post, I can tell things are going well for the both of you. I'm so happy that you feel its been the best year you've had, thats a good sign for the future, he's probably thinking along the same lines. I've know INFP +INFP to work, someone will need some J though hahaha, lol.:D
 

antireconciler

it's a nuclear device
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
866
MBTI Type
Intj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so
Amazing ... good for you! Why not tell us instead what YOU think about these things? I imagine roles somewhat divide, like Siegfried suggests, even in a healthy true-to-type relationship, but if it pleases you, tell us more. Tell us what worked, what didn't, what kind of difficulties you've had and how you worked through them.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Without being in one I can only say it's just another relationship.
 

Geoff

Lallygag Moderator
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
5,584
MBTI Type
INXP
Alright, I'm sure this has been a discussion before, but here goes. Does anyone have anything to say about an INFP woman and man doing well together, the woman having a slight J preferece but kinda in the middle on that one. Sex, Marriage, living together? I'd never been with a more caring and deeply loving man before, I didn't know they existed, I thought I was this way because I'm a woman before I studied personality. So what do you guys think about two outragiously romantic INFP's...seems too good to be true but it's been over a year, the best year of my life...

Sounds like it's going well.. the test will be, I would say, what happens when the infatuation wears off (somewhere between 18m to 3 years). At least one of you has to have some organisational skills and attention to life details, or you could end up wallowing in NPness. But if you sustain the feelings into love, it's sure to be intense
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
MBTI Type
YMCA
Sounds like it's going well.. the test will be, I would say, what happens when the infatuation wears off (somewhere between 18m to 3 years). At least one of you has to have some organisational skills and attention to life details, or you could end up wallowing in NPness. But if you sustain the feelings into love, it's sure to be intense

In a way this idea is a myth. Worst case is they forget to pay the bills and do the dishes. NFPs are pretty good at finding stability, if no one noticed we are probably the ones who seem least uptight about life (and we aren't exactly stupid or naive, go figure). And if INFPs are anything like ENFPs, stepping up and finding a way out when they have to shouldn't be too hard. There is always some ingenious plan B lurking. I can see the INFP evil laughing as he came up with it.
 

antireconciler

it's a nuclear device
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
866
MBTI Type
Intj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so
But if you sustain the feelings into love, it's sure to be intense

I didn't know you could say that about people who have been together for a year ... (Geoff, what do your relationships look like?)
 

Geoff

Lallygag Moderator
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
5,584
MBTI Type
INXP
In a way this idea is a myth. Worst case is they forget to pay the bills and do the dishes. NFPs are pretty good at finding stability, if no one noticed we are probably the ones who seem least uptight about life (and we aren't exactly stupid or naive, go figure). And if INFPs are anything like ENFPs, stepping up and finding a way out when they have to shouldn't be too hard. There is always some ingenious plan B lurking. I can see the INFP evil laughing as he came up with it.

I think you are misplaced if you see INFPs as just introverted ENFPs. They aren't. They aren't the least uptight about life, and they can struggle to cope with the practical side of life.

I agree it's not impossible, I'm just saying that for two INFPs together, they may miss having someone who is organised - and perhaps extraverted - for getting them out there and doing stuff.
 

Nonsensical

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
4,006
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7
What a coincident! I was born of two INFPs, in Houston Texas! It's such a small world.

My dad tells me that his relationship with my mom was deeper than anything he could ever imagine. She died in 1996 from lung cancer, and it royally screwed up his life, and still to this day, he still greeves over it, although he is technically happy again. I imagine INFPs sharing the deepest soul bond that anyone can bare, and it seems as though the closest and deepest relationships will be bewteen INFPs. For these reasons, I feel I'm destined to another INFP, a soul mate, another human being in this chaotic world, whom I can escape to the stars with.
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
MBTI Type
YMCA
I think you are misplaced if you see INFPs as just introverted ENFPs. They aren't. They aren't the least uptight about life, and they can struggle to cope with the practical side of life.

I agree it's not impossible, I'm just saying that for two INFPs together, they may miss having someone who is organised - and perhaps extraverted - for getting them out there and doing stuff.

Both INFPs I've known well in my life are better planned and organised than I am. The tertiary might be an influence. Or maybe they are more worried about being unplanned than I am. They go with the flow a little more in some ways, and they are stronger individually in other ways. They keep their room way cleaner than me too. But may go drifting occasionally. I've just never seen them as that lost that life would fall apart and they would not get back up. Especially if there are two of them and they are in love.
 

Geoff

Lallygag Moderator
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
5,584
MBTI Type
INXP
Both INFPs I've known well in my life are better planned and organised than I am. The tertiary might be an influence. Or maybe they are more worried about being unplanned than I am. They go with the flow a little more in some ways, and they are stronger individually in other ways. They keep their room way cleaner than me too. But may go drifting occasionally. I've just never seen them as that lost that life would fall apart and they would not get back up. Especially if there are two of them and they are in love.

Oh yes, I am sure they can cope, I am talking about whether it makes a good match or not. There is a lot to be said for finding someone that complements your personality rather than is identical to it. An extravert to help an introvert be out and about, a J who will help organise a P, or indeed a P who will introduce flexibility to a J.

Ultimately, MBTI is just a guide, the reality is what matters between the individual people. I've got on well with people of all types.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
I would think a tendancy for two INFP would be to swirl down into the abyss of emotion. I can see the attraction though.
 

Oleander

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2008
Messages
86
MBTI Type
INFP
What about overdoing fear of being too emotional and instead coming across too cold or too much waiting for the other to make first move because if they don't, it feels like they are not interested and whould not be pushed into just conformity with what you'd like?
 

Nameless Hero

New member
Joined
Nov 11, 2010
Messages
61
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
3w4
You are two weapons of love - targeting each other. You will drift together into a island of carefully cutivated values, a place no one else will tread. You are too "dreamy" for this cruel cruel world. Together, you will spiral down into a vortex of pessimism.
 

Lauren

New member
Joined
Dec 7, 2008
Messages
255
MBTI Type
INFP
What about overdoing fear of being too emotional and instead coming across too cold or too much waiting for the other to make first move because if they don't, it feels like they are not interested and whould not be pushed into just conformity with what you'd like?

As far as being too emotional, this can be extremely intense and very compelling. If the emotion is heated and you both control it so one doesn't hurt the other, or say something they don't mean, this is something to cherish. Or, between two NFs there can be a loving intensity that they both know how to express erotically or romantically, which is again, for me, something that drives me crazy (in a good way). If two NFs really like one another, I think they can be patient with waiting for one or the other to make the first move. In the past, I've been attracted to men who initiated things first. Initiating things can be fairly subtle for an INFP and I'm good at feeling the signs of an interested INFP or INTP. I'm shy at initiating, though I can jump in and do it. If I'm really attracted to someone, it's much more difficult to do.
 

Adasta

New member
Joined
Oct 20, 2010
Messages
393
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
I always enjoyed initiating things once I had got over the self-doubt I had in my teens. University taught me that there were loads of girls out there who were "up for it" and did, in fact, find me attractive. I had a great time doing the going out, drinking, clubbing, schmoozing thing. I got bored over it after a year or so, but it was a cracking time nonetheless.

I really don't know if that's advice or merely a rubbish anecdote :confused:
 

Snuggletron

Reptilian
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
2,224
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
10
As long as values are straight I think it's a good idea. I don't like to indulge on the details of my life too deeply, but I'm becoming involved with another INFP, at least as best I can be with the distance thrown in. In terms of fulfillment I see her as the brightest thing in my field of vision. I don't believe in soul-mates and I do try to be down to earth but I can't help the you know what from swelling in me nearly whenever I think of and see her (that can be a few things, bee tee dubs)
 
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