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Thread: Plight of the NF male.

  1. #191
    Senior Member Array TopherRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    2w3 so/sx


    Two words Babylon: Rico Suave. :mustache:

    Truth be told, I just don't care anymore. I've got an ENFP that does the whole advisor thing with me whilst dating her pick of INTJs. I don't care. I'm not interested in dating, I'm interested in a relationship that will work out. If I can't have that, forget it.

    Strangely enough though, the ENFP and I have moments when we flirt with each other shamelessly. *shrug* I usually just chalk it up to the full moon, lol.
    Love is the point.

  2. #192
    Senior Member Array scortia's Avatar
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    May 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Men who hate football are sexy!
    Agreed. I live in Louisiana and my lack of interest (and in fact distaste) in following the Saints made people treat me like a freak. Just like the original poster, I think playing sports is fun. It accomplishes something. Wasting time watching a sporting event is a waste and it makes me long for intellectual conversation or some other sort of escape.

    NF males are not alone in this. NF females have other wastes of time in addition that we get flack for not caring about. Trivial things that the masses base their lives around. Bleh.

  3. #193
    Professional Trickster Array Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Dec 2009


    Scortia, I love what you wrote. And, I agree completely. Even as a young girl, I felt so different from the girls around me. They were always talking about things that I defined as trivial. I yearned for a friend who could have deep and meaningful discussions with me. Alas, most of my friends wanted to talk about ephemera such as their favorite color of lip gloss. Egads!

  4. #194


    I'm not a huge sports fan but I can understand how watching a sports event can be interesting and even fun

    favourite colour of lip gloss though, I cannot really relate... much >_>
    Call me Visa, please!

  5. #195
    Senior Member Array Kastor's Avatar
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    Jul 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by scortia View Post
    NF males are not alone in this. NF females have other wastes of time in addition that we get flack for not caring about. Trivial things that the masses base their lives around. Bleh.
    God, that's so true

    And I love your icon ;D

  6. #196


    I was out watching UFC with some folks at a bar and just freely admitted that I didn't know a damn thing about it, made comments such as "that bald guy looks like he's pretty seasoned," and asked pretty dumb and basic questions about UFC.

    I was mostly there for the company and a chance to get out and grab some drinks, so I looked at it from that perspective. I didn't try to fit in or know what I was talking about, because I really didn't.

    And it didn't seem that I was expected to. It seemed like my presence was 'value added'--we started some pretty good conversations and I wasn't shunned, at least. So that's something!

    Sometimes, though, outings like that hit my 'tolerance level' too. I get strange looks when people ask what my favorite college football team is and I have no idea how to respond.

  7. #197
    Senior Member Array Moiety's Avatar
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    Aug 2008


    It starts to get refreshing though, when you become perfectly comfortable with the fact you just don't pay the same level of importance to those things.

    I've had people actually tell me "what you are no watching the soccer match? why, are you sad?"

  8. #198
    Senior Member Array Yloh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009


    Now I have complained on here about being an NF male before, but I wouldn't change who I am for anybody.

    To be honest, being an NF male has worked to my advantage way more than it has worked against me. I can elaborate if you would like.

    This whole persona about what makes a "man" is crap. People have different definitions on what it is to be a "man". I'll give you mine if you want to hear it as I can go on and on about this subject.

    NF men, from my understanding, just don't fit the typical "man" presona that most women want. If you get down to basic primal instinct, women want an alpha male. What about the women who want an emotionally understanding man, but never seem to be attracted to them? They want a man who can be like one of the girls, but these men won't get into all of the mainly stuff that attracts these women in the first place. You can also say this is true on the women's side as men talk about wanting a tomboy. Sure they want a woman that can be like one of the guys, but she won't get into all of the girly stuff that attracts most men in the first place. Basic primal instincts really has a larger influenct on us than we give credit for. This doesn't mean NF men and tomboys have no hope in finding romance (as some people acutally find these qualities truly attractive).

    Just because you are an ESTP doesn't mean you are an "ass hole". Just because you are an INFP doesn't mean you are "emo". Sure being these types can raise your chances of haveing these stereotypes (as I believe there is some truth to stereotypes), but that doesn't make it true.

    Anyways these are my thoughts on the subject.

  9. #199
    Senior Member Array the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    5w4 sx/sp


    different women have different needs.

    at times i think i want a woman more emotional than me and then other times i feel so refreshed by T women. i'm sure intelligent, well-balanced women recognize more than strictly one possibility for themselves as well.

    the expectations definitely put a bit of pressure on certain normative pairings, ideas/ideals, anticipations, etc. most of the N types i know seem like they don't have too much trouble breaking them, they just need a reason + experience to realize what it uniquely has to offer. at the same time, i think some types are drawn to each other very intensely. how one infj can go with a duality relationship, how one can go with an introverted intp, or how one can go with a sparkly enfp, etc. there are certain things/lessons you learn from your experiences with different types, and some are more privileged and valuable to you than others.

    i see no point in bemoaning that a wide demographic of women aren't interested in me. to be truthful would be to realize that i have no interest in most of them. recognizing real connections/chemistry, values, aesthetics, communication quality, relevant ideas, personal energies etc helps you refine your own understanding of yourself and what you want for yourself and how others fit into that. as far as sexuality is concerned, a lot of inxx males, especially those who are strongly sp, don't really put a lot of energy into presenting themselves sexually. which is an attempt to stand out from the crowd, express oneself, etc. that kind of presence makes a big difference in being noticed by others and feeling confident under that kind of scrutiny, and i think it's a basic rule of sexual desirability apart from the more specific "masculine discourse" that makes up what we inf males hate so much: locker room talk, my dick is bigger than your dick blah blah blah, claims of "cockblocking," strip club fodder, etc.

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