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  1. #1
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Default Being oversensitive

    yes, i'm in that camp. i find myself getting upset over the smallest things people say. the thing is that a lot of the time i know that it is either a misunderstanding or that i'm right. but even then i feel i little cramp in my chest when really i should just be able to brush it off. no matter how much i rationalize and try and talk myself out of it, there's still that knee-jerk reaction. wtf do i do? do i just have to live with it?

  2. #2
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    What sort of things do people say that you often find yourself getting upset over? You don't have to give specific examples, but what sort of comments are they?

    I think that as you gain life experience, acquire a more accurate and stable sense of identity, and begin to accomplish things that are important to you, your confidence will become more impenetrable.

  3. #3
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    What sort of things do people say that you often find yourself getting upset over? You don't have to give specific examples, but what sort of comments are they?

    I think that as you gain life experience, acquire a more accurate and stable sense of identity, and begin to accomplish things that are important to you, your confidence will become more impenetrable.
    genuinely racist comments really get me even if i know they're the ones who are blind. short remarks on the net get me too, because in real life i can at least explain myself. comments such as "he's all talk" or "he's a pussy" get to me too, because these aren't things where i can try and disprove through simple evidence, whereas i could with a misunderstanding. as i said, i don't really think that these guys are correct when they make claims against me, but that's besides the point as i feel crappy anyways.

  4. #4
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Why don't you just completely ignore toxic remarks? Don't give them the power that they seek to have over you with their words.

  5. #5
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Why don't you just completely ignore toxic remarks? Don't give them the power that they seek to have over you with their words.
    that's exactly what i've been telling myself. that's pretty much what i tell myself every time. problem is, even before i can calm down and rationalized, i feel sad already. therefore, the comment has already dampened my day before i can attend to it. i envy the strong, individualistic T's that just don't care (at all) about what other people say. i try to do the same, but somehow, it still gets to me and then i can't get it out of my head.

  6. #6
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Why don't you get away from these toxic people? What is possibly keeping you in such an environment?

  7. #7
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Why don't you get away from these toxic people? What is possibly keeping you in such an environment?
    lol because it's just impossible to hide from all of them. honestly, most of the problem isn't on them, it's on me. i'm just too sensitive. i don't show it and i try to get over things but i get these negative feelings and though i try, i still end up dwelling on the negativity. i tell myself things like 'stop thinking about x'. but then what happens of course is i end up thinking about it inadvertently.

    i wonder if there's some secret to hardening yourself up. i dunno, maybe i should be more dogmatic in my mind and that can help my rationality trump my negative emotions.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    Just wondering, how is your self esteem? I only ask because when mine was low I would get upset about those things too. Now its just great to laugh at remarks like the ones you've mentioned.

    If you take things too seriously you are bound to get your feelings hurt more often than not. Also, its ok to be sensitive, but look in yourself and ask yourself if any negative remark is true or not. If it isn't you can just laugh at their ignorance of who you are. Not sure if this will help...it certainly works for me.

  9. #9
    Glycerine
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    on reading something like a sign or a book. Hope that helps!
    Quote Originally Posted by animenagai View Post
    lol because it's just impossible to hide from all of them. honestly, most of the problem isn't on them, it's on me. i'm just too sensitive. i don't show it and i try to get over things but i get these negative feelings and though i try, i still end up dwelling on the negativity. i tell myself things like 'stop thinking about x'. but then what happens of course is i end up thinking about it inadvertently.

    i wonder if there's some secret to hardening yourself up. i dunno, maybe i should be more dogmatic in my mind and that can help my rationality trump my negative emotions.
    Well, honestly, I don't believe you are being oversensitive. You have the right to feel offended because those examples seem rather insensitive. The reason you are probably reacting strongly is because they are violating your values. You can try to ask them politely to stop and if they don't respect your wishes, then remove yourself from the situation. However, if you can't get out, you can try "zoning out" by concentrating on reading something like a sign or a book. Hope that helps!

    A quick fix to hardening yourself up is to feign apathy or make a friendly comeback that acts like a joke but also gets your message across.

  10. #10
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris_in_Orbit View Post
    Just wondering, how is your self esteem? I only ask because when mine was low I would get upset about those things too. Now its just great to laugh at remarks like the ones you've mentioned.

    If you take things too seriously you are bound to get your feelings hurt more often than not. Also, its ok to be sensitive, but look in yourself and ask yourself if any negative remark is true or not. If it isn't you can just laugh at their ignorance of who you are. Not sure if this will help...it certainly works for me.
    i only get offended if i really feel wronged. about stuff like racism, if it's a friend who's just poking fun at me via race, i just laugh it off. i don't feel offended because i know their intentions are good. what gets me are the people who don't even know what they're talking about. random ignorant insults offend me, and i wish i could just brush it off because that's the logical thing to do. for whatever reason, i find it hard. i ask if the insults are true, but if they're not, i just end up shaking my head asking myself 'why does it have to be this way?'. giving so many people the benefit of the doubt also hurts, because some people take advantage of it. maybe learning to laugh at things more would be the answer. i've learned to laugh at more things as i've matured. maybe i just need to do more of it.

    o my self-confidence is pretty high actually, though it used to be pretty low. i saw myself as smart and creative, but that was about it. i was a socially awkward guy for a lot of my life. it was through learning to care less that i've opened up and matured. i probably need to care even less, but i don't want to lose my compassion in the process.

    anyways, thanks guys.

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