[NF] Who loses site of their goals from time to time?

[Midget]

Occassionaly, I just totally lose sight*of my goals, usually amongst all the steps along the way to achieving them. I was at school the other day, and I was just like SCREW THIS. I totally didn't want to be there...even though being a nurse and helping people in very important to me. But in order to do that, I need to finish school. But when I thought of the pre-reqs I still need to complete, and then applying to nursing schools...just UGH.

I'm okay now, though...but I'm just curious if anyone here loses site of their goals from time to time? And what do you do to recenter yourself or whatever, in regards to what your goals are? And why you are doing what you are doing to reach your goals.

 

[nolla]

Me!

I usually find it an effort to think in a goal-oriented way. Like now I have to find a job, but I can't get it here since this kind of positions are never open in this town, so I have to move. But to move I need money so I would need a crappy job to get money and I need to make a portfolio to apply to a job and if I move to another city and don't get the job I will be knee-deep in shit because they have so high rents that I can't eat and have a roof over my head if I don't have a job.

I don't know what to do...

 

[Kyrielle]

I'm okay now, though...but I'm just curious if anyone here loses site of their goals from time to time? And what do you do to recenter yourself or whatever, in regards to what your goals are? And why you are doing what you are doing to reach your goals.

*Sight

Anyway.

First question: Everyone does this, I think. The reactions are always different among individuals, of course.

Second question: I do something insignificant but related to the mental block I have at the time. Specifically, I have trouble with details. I get easily overwhelmed with doing all the little steps required to get to the big, challenging step (which is usually the part I'm excited about). When I lose sight of that interesting part at the end, I keep pushing the little steps away into the back of my mind. To get rid of the mental block, I just do one of the little steps. Just one. As soon as I've done that, I realise how easy the little steps are and proceed until the next block. However, getting myself to do that one little thing (something that can be as stupidly simple as scheduling an appointment) can be a monumental task--sometimes it takes all the energy I have at the time to push myself forward.

Third question: That's a good question. Usually whatever method I'm using is the one I perceive to be the most efficient use of my time. By efficient, I don't neccessarily mean the fastest way, just the way that gives me the most beneficial results. Sometimes, though, I take a very ineffcient route because I've hit a "lazy snag" and just getting something done at all is a miracle (I really hate being in that snag...I prefer things to move like clockwork).


Nolla, it looks like you have to find a crappy job. Hate to say that, but you do need money to make any progress. While you have your crappy job, you can work on your portfolio. I really wouldn't move to a city just hoping to find work. I'm pretty sure you could apply for a job without moving to another city (yay for the intarwebs!) and discuss how you could make that transition work if the company decided to try to hire you.

I understand not knowing what to do, because knowing means likely facing the prospect of doing something you don't like for a while.

Alternatively, you could ask your family to assist you?

 

[nolla]

Nolla, it looks like you have to find a crappy job. Hate to say that, but you do need money to make any progress. While you have your crappy job, you can work on your portfolio. I really wouldn't move to a city just hoping to find work. I'm pretty sure you could apply for a job without moving to another city (yay for the intarwebs!) and discuss how you could make that transition work if the company decided to try to hire you.

Yeah ... but, you know, the goal keeps moving more and more distant all the time, since there's so many things that are connected to this thing. Like, for example my friends are here and I would be there, and I like my current apartment and neighborhood. It's like everything that I like about current situation is against me moving away, but I still know that's what I have to do. So, I am losing the sight of the goal all the time...

 

[Kyrielle]

Yeah ... but, you know, the goal keeps moving more and more distant all the time, since there's so many things that are connected to this thing. Like, for example my friends are here and I would be there, and I like my current apartment and neighborhood. It's like everything that I like about current situation is against me moving away, but I still know that's what I have to do. So, I am losing the sight of the goal all the time...

Hmm. Well how far away would you be moving? If it's not too far you can always agree to meet up somewhere regularly. The apartment and neighborhood thing will just be weighed in with how important moving is to you. If moving away is more important, then I guess you'd need to work on letting it go.

Can I ask some stuff: Do you think what you're saying is finding ways to rationalise your staying there because you're afraid/worried about leaving things behind and going somewhere new where you'll be alone? Do your friends know about this, and do they support you (ie. would they help you, come visit, help you get adjusted)?

Hmm, maybe it's just getting to a point where all the other options have resolved themselves so that the option for moving is left wide open and there is little reason to find a reason to not move.

 

[nolla]

It's not like super far, I guess I could come here every month and not be bankrupt but I've just gotten used to living with couple of friends and seeing the others so often that I don't take it lightly.

Can I ask some stuff: Do you think what you're saying is finding ways to rationalise your staying there because you're afraid/worried about leaving things behind and going somewhere new where you'll be alone?

Yeah, I am rationalizing it. And, you know, it isn't the loneliness that bugs me the most. I've done this before. I left to study in spain once so it shouldn't be a problem to move. The thing is that I feel like if I move I eliminate the option of coming back here (because I know I wont). So for my P it means that I have less options than I have now.

Hmm, maybe it's just getting to a point where all the other options have resolved themselves so that the option for moving is left wide open and there is little reason to find a reason to not move.

Yes. If I knew I have the job there, it would be like "of course I move". Even if that means I have to starve for a month.

 

[Kyrielle]

It's not like super far, I guess I could come here every month and not be bankrupt but I've just gotten used to living with couple of friends and seeing the others so often that I don't take it lightly.

I can see why that would be unfortunate, not seeing your friends as often would seem like you'd be going back several steps instead of going forward.

Yeah, I am rationalizing it. And, you know, it isn't the loneliness that bugs me the most. I've done this before. I left to study in spain once so it shouldn't be a problem to move. The thing is that I feel like if I move I eliminate the option of coming back here (because I know I wont). So for my P it means that I have less options than I have now.

Ah, I see. Because it would be less convenient, it would make that option pretty much negligible?

Yes. If I knew I have the job there, it would be like "of course I move". Even if that means I have to starve for a month.

I'm sure you wouldn't starve for a month. =) That's what ramen is for!

 

[nolla]

Ah, I see. Because it would be less convenient, it would make that option pretty much negligible?

If I was living there, it would be absurd to move here, that would be a bit like saying "I want to be a bum for the rest of my life, give me some gasoline to sniff.." There is no work here.

I'm sure you wouldn't starve for a month. =) That's what ramen is for!