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Thread: INFP Anger?

  1. #21
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viv View Post
    For instance, if someone who's cocky thinks they're ultra good looking, buff, drives a monster-truck talks like they're the shit sent from above. If I'm mad/get into a fight with them, I could not just flat out say, "I'm sorry. Small packages come in big cars, don't they??" I just for the life of me, cannot blurt out anything cruel like that. Boundaries are important- some lines we just really shouldn't cross, no matter how angry we are, especially when it comes to a person's physical or mental attributes. It could really hurt.
    I know exactly what you mean there, I'm the same, for example I'm admin at another forum and a member I had been "friends" with for a few years and who knew alot about me, things that could really hurt, went all apeshit because he couldn't do what he wanted and get away with it based on being friends with us in charge, he didn't react well to being told to behave (in the nicest possible way lol) and really ripped into me.

    Things that I had only told him became public knowledge and onto public mockery, he was so nasty and full of venom. And even though I knew just as many things about him that I could have used to insult him equally I just couldn't bring myself to cross that line. I couldn't say anything to him that would linger in the hurt it can cause (sad thing is it probably would have bounced off his thick skin if I had said it all, whereas of course everything he said to me really did hurt my feelings).

    IRL I would have lashed out, to me physical pain doesn't hurt as much as emotional pain, so I find it easier to smack someone who is hurting my feelings than trying to hurt their feelings too. It's silly I know because violence also hurts, but I grew up in a violent household so physical pain doesn't hold the same ability to hurt me.

    I would rather fight you than rip into your soul with words no amount of saying sorry can change.
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  2. #22
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    even though I knew just as many things about him that I could have used to insult him equally I just couldn't bring myself to cross that line. I couldn't say anything to him that would linger in the hurt it can cause (sad thing is it probably would have bounced off his thick skin if I had said it all, whereas of course everything he said to me really did hurt my feelings).
    Probably would have. I guess it's more about personal integrity. If we can really live with ourselves with the choices we make.

    Yeah.. I think having a Bozo-the-clown & a shredder would help. Bop it upside the head a few times. Print his pix..Shred like hell.. LoL!! I grew up in a physically abusive household, too. Emotional wounds last longer than physical. Sorry to hear about the fall out. His loss. We always learn something new with each experience. Think of it as a new starting point. G'Luck..

  3. #23
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    I had to grow up around one overly negative kid. And I'm sure he was in for a surprise when this quiet kid began to kick the crap out of him. I was taunted. Period. I didn't want to fight, I was driven to it.

  4. #24
    Senior Member r0wo1's Avatar
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    I had to grow up around one overly negative kid. And I'm sure he was in for a surprise when this quiet kid began to kick the crap out of him. I was taunted. Period. I didn't want to fight, I was driven to it.
    I personally hate disagreements (real/serious ones at any rate), and I've never been in a fight, because I think its stupid.

    But when I spend a lot of time around somebody, in class or etc, who tend to be very brash or cocky (or negative ), I'll put up with it for a good long while and then lash out suddenly to shut them down. It takes a long time to work me up to that point, and even then it depends on the day. I think the majority of INFPs do a very good job of keeping a hold on their anger until they are pushed over the edge and it finally just bursts out. Is that your experience too?

  5. #25
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by r0wo1 View Post
    I personally hate disagreements (real/serious ones at any rate), and I've never been in a fight, because I think its stupid.

    But when I spend a lot of time around somebody, in class or etc, who tend to be very brash or cocky (or negative ), I'll put up with it for a good long while and then lash out suddenly to shut them down. It takes a long time to work me up to that point, and even then it depends on the day. I think the majority of INFPs do a very good job of keeping a hold on their anger until they are pushed over the edge and it finally just bursts out. Is that your experience too?
    I was not aware that bottling up your irritation until you explode could be considered a good way of handling anger.

  6. #26
    Senior Member r0wo1's Avatar
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    I was not aware that bottling up your irritation until you explode could be considered a good way of handling anger.
    Mmm, I dont mean that it is a good way to handle anger. Just because we are good at doing it, doesn't mean it is nessecarily a good thing to do...

    In my case, I know for sure that I bottle it up until it explodes... maybe not the best way of dealing with it but there you are.
    r0wo1 the destroyer of threads has struck again...

  7. #27
    Senior Member placebo's Avatar
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    I get mad at everyone. I'm pretty terrible. I can definitely say mean things. It depends to what degree a person irritates me--some people are very difficult to be mad at and some aren't. Kind of depends on my mood :\

  8. #28
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    Its freaky, but they say everyone has a breaking point, and for the INFP, I guess this comes sometimes at surprising times. INFPs internalize a lot of anger from daily life, instead of letting them out, or letting them go. At least for me, when I really get angry, its the straw that broke the camel's back.

    I usually manage to keep it down, but sometimes the stimulus is to much for me to bear. Especially when someone is attacking my core. Yes, I know, very abstract and hard to describe. But there are certain things people criticize that are rooted too deeply in my value system, and I can get really angry.

    Of course, mood is also a major factor. If I'm already in a really lousy mood, starving, exhausted, and someone does something that completely overwhelms me, I'm much more likely to let out my anger somehow.

  9. #29
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    I had once experimented on an INFP to see how far I could go to 'break' him. He broke. I assured him it was all just an experiment although I'm sure he's still a bit shaken from it. Poor soul...

  10. #30
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    If I don't say it I, at times regret not saying it. When I do say it they typically deserved it and I haven't felt guilty about it in the last two years now. Before that time though, the above would describe me.
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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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