Hello. New to the group and introducing myself. I've come in search of introspective information on dealing with being an ENFJ.
I have read articles dissecting my personality type, and I can say that these things are very true: I'm extremely reliable, ambitious, and approach things is a caring way - caring to me means not being biased and being able to explain a situation from all sides of the coin in order to help others understand. I also associate caring and thoughtfulness with planning.
I sometimes feel drained by being able to counsel others, but not being able to find anyone that has the want to know what is going on with me. I think ENFJís might seem like they are independent ad strong willed and therefore no one worries about them. What I think we really want is for someone to admire all of those things that make us ENFJ, to covet that, and to want to know all about us. But we wonít divulge much without you gaining our trust and admiration, because we fear disappointment that you are not truly interested.
I also have high expectations for other people. I run into trouble in my relationships, friendships, and work by being eternally disappointed when others don't live up to my expectations of ambition, or what I expect for reciprocity in caring. Although I tend to not see this as a negative thing, but rather that I would be disrepecting myself if I didn't expect someone to act as thoughtfully toward me as I would toward them. Similarly I expect others at work to stay late to finish a project, or I expect my friends to return calls, show up when they say they will, etc. I am understanding and patient, but if I am disappointed too many times I pretend to build a wall and block those people out. I say pretend, because I really want them to come at my wall with a hammer...which never happens deepening the disappointment.
Ok, so you get the picture...How do ENFJ's deal with being disappointed?
In reading these blogs I see that a lot of people have frustrations with ENFJ's. I'm here to help if there is any insight I can give on they way we tick.
Thanks and Hello!