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  1. #1
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    Default INFP with ISTJ co-worker = PAIN

    HELP! I hate my job. Well, for several reasons - one being that it's in IT (INFP as a systems analyst? No brainer why I dislike it).

    Already decided to quit and pursue something else, which makes it bearable to go to work until then. What makes it UNbearable is a co-worker, who's ISTJ. Now, he was promoted to "Team Lead" over a year ago (my team lead). But I hate working with him. I feel like I'm just being a stubborn child who doesn't like being told what to do, but he just rubs me the wrong way. Constantly!

    Anyone else have personality conflicts with the ST type? Is it just this person I'm having problems with, or is it a "type" conflict? Maybe this guy is just a know it all who acts superior (but believe me he really isn't!). It's gottent o the point where everytime i get an emailf rom him askign me to do something or askign a question, I get angry and don't want to respond. Even if it's a legitimate request ! Bad me

  2. #2
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    ISJP isn't a type.

  3. #3
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    oopes He's a Sensing- Thinking ST.

  4. #4
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Can you give me an example of a way in which he would act superior in communicating with you?

  5. #5
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    I imagine that if there's conflict, you're probably "not following the rules". Just a shot in the dark...am I close?

    But from your post, it sounds more like you're "not doing it his way". And if his way is flawed, that could be a problem, especially since he's your superior.

    Tell us more, we're listening.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  6. #6

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    ""ST"s can sometimes come across as acting superior even if it's not intended. And I'd imagine STJ's would be even worse...

    Type conlict could be part of the problem.

    If this person is not very good at "N" then you will not make sense to them... You may come across to them as not able to focus on the detail of a problem, whereas chances are you have got a good grasp of the overall situation and whilst you may not see every minute detail you will do an equally good job as they would...

    Do you get the sort of feedback from this person that you require?
    I have an INFP working for me at the moment and he has a constant need to be told he's doing a good job. He's an extreme case to be honest, but you'r not going to feel valued in your role if you don't get the feedback from your team leader.

  7. #7
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    Essentially he micromanages me- I've been here 5 years, done an AMAZING job- and since he's been a team lead, he kind of power trips. Thats eased down a bit, but he still micro manages everything

    1) He overhears a phone conversation (sits next to me), he will interupt to tell me how to answer/do the request (usually wrong, sicne he only heard half conversation)

    2) He requested we submit status reports weekly. Not a big deal to most people, but people at levels higher than me don't have to do this. It's only people on HIS team (3 people). earlier this year I had a week FULL of meetings for a project, he was in all of them. Mon-Fri. The next Monday, he emaleld me asking for a status report of work the rpevious week. I replied back with the list- 1. Meeting for Backup RFP. He emailed me bnack for more details. That ticked me off and I just stopped doing them altogether. My manager (above him) won't give me heck, since I'm not required to do them anyways

    3. Not letting me do my job. This is kind of hard to explain. I used to just DO my work, no he required I detail everything out and asks the status of things and where i"m at- Constantly. Whereas my Manager will say - where are we at, when will it be done? I can say I've done this and this, I'll have it done by Friday. No, this guy needs to know what steps are left, when I'm doign them, how I'm doign them, etc etc. It's like he doesn't trust me??

    So like I said, now when I get an email asking something, I just simmer inside and don't want to answer it. Sometimes it's a legitimate "Where are we with this, what's going on with that" request, but I still don't like it.

    I'm thinking of becoming a real estate agent, I can be my own boss SO is it a problemw ith authority I have, or do you think it's just this person?? I also have to say he's a decnt enough guy, and outside of work we get along fine (lunch, coffee, after work outings). Or maybe I just hate my job and I'm pinning it all on him? I don't know. But I'm so stressed out lately coming to work, I HATE it!!! And at night, I'm too tired to try and think of a way out or something I'd like better. I just want to go to sleep (I get home at 5:30!). I knwo you shouldn't jump into a career just t leave the one you have, but if I stay here I won't make it to another one :-)

  8. #8
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    If he interrupts you on a call, would you consider telling him that it's unacceptable on his part, even if he is your superior? That is so incredibly rude.

  9. #9
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    When I have had SJ supervisors, or when I saw them, if they weren't around much, I was in my own private hell. I can't think of any solution except getting them or yourself fired, or quitting. Sorry!

  10. #10
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eternitybc
    Whereas my Manager will say - where are we at, when will it be done? I can say I've done this and this, I'll have it done by Friday. No, this guy needs to know what steps are left, when I'm doign them, how I'm doign them, etc etc. It's like he doesn't trust me??
    What he doesn't trust is leaving things vague. The train of thought goes that "the more fully you know all the details-->the more control you have over the problem/situation-->the less chance of something going wrong". Maybe he wants to know the details of your work so that he can predict and be aware of how it will affect his own work, and the work of the other people in your group. Maybe he feels it's his responsibility to make sure this does not fail. It could be a lot of things....

    If the guy is a jerk, and won't listen to your input even when you explain to him what practical benefits it has, there may be no getting around it.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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